johan Posted June 29, 2006 Posted June 29, 2006 What if you get a grease fire going in the kitchen? Who do you want there? A guy with a cushy finance job?
Pantero Posted June 29, 2006 Posted June 29, 2006 What if you get a grease fire going in the kitchen? Who do you want there? A guy with a cushy finance job? Hopefully, the guy with the cushy finance job knows how to use the extinguisher. And the right extinguisher at that. EL OH EL.
johan Posted June 29, 2006 Posted June 29, 2006 Hopefully, the guy with the cushy finance job knows how to use the extinguisher. And the right extinguisher at that. EL OH EL. I wouldn't count on it. This is a safety issue when you get right down to it. I think Vicki is about to take her life in her own hands here.
littlekitty Posted June 29, 2006 Posted June 29, 2006 Nice dodge! Clearly the answer to the question was yes. Oh my god, you're all superficial bitches. I knew it! Outted!!
Cecelius Posted June 29, 2006 Posted June 29, 2006 I tell ya what, you can deal with a lot if a hot bod and a pretty face come along with the deal. This actually explains a lot about the women some men hook up with... Some of us dudes with "cushy" "office" jobs and soft hands would much prefer to be back cleaning rifles and marching, or carrying bricks or any job where your mind isn't constantly occupied with dull but complex matters and when your shift is over, it's over.
Walk Posted June 29, 2006 Posted June 29, 2006 I think a lot would depend on what stage their relationship is at. A new relationship might not with-stand the stress and uncertianty of a one partner starting a totally different career. The person you thought you were getting to know, suddenly becomes someone you didn't realize existed. It sends you into a thought process of wondering what else will change. A few months after starting to date my bf he decided to be a truck driver. I questioned if it was something I wanted to live with. Would I be embarressed to introduce him as "my bf, the semi driver." They aren't exactly a "noble" profession. Its fine in theory, but most people think truckers are hilly billy hicks and talk to them like their retards. But the biggest factor that I couldn't put my finger on at the time was the fact that the person I was getting to know suddenly did a left face and marched off in a totally different direction then where he implied he was going when we met. It wasn't the type of job he would be doing, but the extreme change from what he was doing that caused me to second quess our compatibility. But I couldn't figure that out at the time, so my concerns came out as shallow sounding as this woman's concerns sound. I don't think she's being shallow, I hope not at least... but the dramatic job shift is a cause for concern and should be evaluated. Just make sure your evaluating the "right" reasons. Reasons concerning who the person is, and not whether his job fits in with your social status.
IWalkAlone Posted June 29, 2006 Posted June 29, 2006 If he loves me unconditionally, loves sex, loves my body and respects me enough to stay faithful- then the other things aren't really very important. A lot of women say stuff like this, but if you wach actual behavoir, you see that at appears to be mostly guys with awesome abs, pretty faces or high-status jobs (whether it's high-pay or just highly macho - like firefighting) that love women unconditionally, love sex and respect women enought to stay faithful(at least some of the time).
Pink Amulet Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 I would say that only comes down to the type of social groups some women interact with... I am speaking specifically about someone you already have a relationship with. P.S I have been inspired to start a thread...
luckystarr1182 Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 I can really relate to how you feel. I'm 23... I instruct college courses and start doctorate coursework in the fall. I think my dating choices, as well as yours perhaps, are very misunderstood. A lot of people think that it is pretentious that I won't date someone who doesn't at least have their BS. I should start by saying that I have put myself through my undergraduate and graduate studies (digging myself well into debt in the process, but that's neither here nor there.) I didn't have parents paying for my tuition or apartment expenses or for a car like a lot of other college kids. I have worked REALLY hard to get as far as I have and I feel that people who graduate high school and go to a trade school and get a job don't see the world like I do. Firefighters work just as hard, but somehow it's totally different. The way you change, learn, and develop at a place like a university is truly phenomenal and unlike anything else, and it's really refreshing to find someone who understands that and relates to that. It's not really a matter of being "better" than someone else because I come from a blue collar home and love my family dearly. I wouldn't appreciate some jerk with a degree telling my parents that he or she is better than them because of it. However, sometimes when you come from such opposite ends of the spectrum, it's hard to make a relationship work. What I can tell you is that I have fallen in love with a teacher. I always thought that I would marry a high powered someone-or-other and that I would introduce him with intense pride because he would be absolutely rich and educated and successful. But what I have found is a teacher who makes next to nothing... I have witnessed him make a profound difference in childrens' lives and I have seen the way he beams when he realizes that a kid "gets it". And that means more than any dollar amound he could ever make because he is passionate. I guess my point is that if he shares similarities with you and is on the same emotional and intellectual level as you, then you have a chance... you'll be suprised how sexy it is to have a man who is passionate. But if he's just some college flunk out who is going to be a firefighter because he can't find anything better to do and will never move up in his office because of his lack of a degree, then ditch him... you'll always feel like you could have done better. Sorry for the long post y'all.
Yamaha Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 Am I just a superficial b*tch?? If you have to ask this question then you know the answer is true. A non-superficial person wouldn't even consider the question.
RecordProducer Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 Choosing a lower paying, more difficult, yet rewarding job does not, IMO, equal a lack of ambition. I think it indicates a real genuine attitude of compassion, caring, and selflessness. Lousy qualities in a mate, to be sure. As for his getting bored... I'm not sure I can see a firefighter becoming bored with his job. As with any jobs, there will be down time, but along with that comes the excitement of the danger and the thrill and joy of saving people's lives.I bet that's what her BF thinks too! He sees it as an adventure, like maybe he won't be so bored and static as a FF. I know a firefighter who was passionate about his job and a few months later got bored of it and went back to school.
Vertex Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 I know many people who would scoff at the idea of a "paper-pushing white-collar office job" even if it paid well (then again I attend Wharton so perhaps such a statement is hypocritical, but the point stands). Sometimes you have to follow your heart and not your money. Are you more concerned with how people will view you? Does he seem any less ambitious to you? What are your goals and who exactly are you trying to impress? I would consider it superficial to dump him because you feel that, compared to what you're used to and how your fellow suit-friends view you, you somehow feel too superior to him just because of his profession. It's hard to deny -- sometimes you have to respect the guys that follow their hearts and not the money, especially if they've had the choice to pursue either path. Ambition is very attractive, not only because it makes one strive to take on a go-getter attitude, but it implies that the person has a personality such that they want to go the extra mile to reach a given goal. If this is a trait this man has, then yes, it is superficial to dump him for it. If he is becoming a firefighter because it's easy for him and he feels like he doesn't want to try something "harder" or more "financially rewarding," then it can be questioned more accurately as to whether or not he is ambitious and willing to strive for optimal goals -- then dumping him may be more justified if this is a trait you absolutely must have. I would not be so quick to dismiss the whole thing as superficial. I think we need more information before making such a claim. It can really go either way. Just keep in mind that the relationship is between you two and you two only -- not all your friends who may scoff at the idea of a firefighter.
littlekitty Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 *applause* Now THAt is the HEALTHY way to have a relationship! Thanks Smoochie!
littlekitty Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 A lot of women say stuff like this, but if you wach actual behavoir, you see that at appears to be mostly guys with awesome abs, pretty faces or high-status jobs (whether it's high-pay or just highly macho - like firefighting) that love women unconditionally, love sex and respect women enought to stay faithful(at least some of the time). Sorry but I have to call you on this! Do you really think at 60 my SO will still have awesome abs? Unlikely. Just as after I've beared him 3 children I won't have the same body. Will I stop loving him unconditionally then? Of course not. He's the man I've chosen to marry, to spend the rest of my life with. And while his abs are very attractive, it is who he is, and how he loves me in return, that are the reasons why I want to spend the rest of my life with him!!
Walk Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 I have worked REALLY hard to get as far as I have and I feel that people who graduate high school and go to a trade school and get a job don't see the world like I do. Firefighters work just as hard, but somehow it's totally different. The way you change, learn, and develop at a place like a university is truly phenomenal and unlike anything else, and it's really refreshing to find someone who understands that and relates to that. It's not really a matter of being "better" than someone else because I come from a blue collar home and love my family dearly. Interesting. I've been through trade school, and also college. (graduate this april) The trade school was by far tougher and faster paced then college. Higher expectations on completely understanding the material. College has been a breeze comparatively. I really don't think a person should judge something unless they've actually experienced it. Then again, we all rationalize our biases in our own way.
Walk Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 A lot of women say stuff like this, but if you wach actual behavoir, you see that at appears to be mostly guys with awesome abs, pretty faces or high-status jobs (whether it's high-pay or just highly macho - like firefighting) that love women unconditionally, love sex and respect women enought to stay faithful(at least some of the time). You forgot the age old motto: Like attracts like. Do you see these awesome ab guys with ugly women? I never do. And I don't think you can support your theory that these men are more faithful. In MY experience, they're less faithful, less unconditional, and less respectful then the "average" man who's abs are covered in a layer of fat. Maybe I didn't understand though the post though.....
rkman Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 Interesting. I've been through trade school, and also college. (graduate this april) The trade school was by far tougher and faster paced then college. Higher expectations on completely understanding the material. College has been a breeze comparatively. I really don't think a person should judge something unless they've actually experienced it. Trade school gives you heavy workload with work that doesn't really ask you to think much. Good universities will ask you to think for yourself but will teach you far less than you'll need to know to get through everything. I've done both as well. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Some of the most successful people I know haven't even complete college let alone university. I have two graduate degrees and can't even compare to being half the real man my father is, nor match his extremely successful and wealthy lifestyle. On the same note, I have many University graduated friends who are unlikely to advanve much further past their current, yes boss, careers. No matter how high you climb, you're always still looking for acceptance. The will to succeed will do much more than a piece of paper. The paper just aids in the process, some of the time. Love the man, not his credentials, you aren't a for-profit firm.
IWalkAlone Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 You forgot the age old motto: Like attracts like. Do you see these awesome ab guys with ugly women? I never do. And I don't think you can support your theory that these men are more faithful. In MY experience, they're less faithful, less unconditional, and less respectful then the "average" man who's abs are covered in a layer of fat. Maybe I didn't understand though the post though..... I was being ironic
Tmi381 Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 First off, not everyone wants a "cushy office job". I happen to work in an extremely laid back office, but for the most part, the 9-5 grind is a half step above a lot of things that suck. Second, his life experience may trranslate into a type of intelligence you'll never have. There a lot of different "types" of intellect. There are people gifted at music, some at writing. There are engineers whos written word is so horrid, I'd wipe my ass with it. But they design bridges and do things I never could. Some people are adept at seeing situations for what they are, in their ourest, simplest form. OP, I think you have a rather myopic view things. BTW, if it's like the US shifts, he'll have, what I consider better hours than you. One week on, 3 off. But do what makes you happy. You have to be happy with your partner, not us. We all have things we need to adjust, look at differently, or stop. It's obvious it bothers you, or else you'd have never written. THerefroe, I'm inclined to think your mind is more or less made up. Do what you feel. -R- This is the best advice that i've heard so far!!!
luckystarr1182 Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 Interesting. I've been through trade school, and also college. (graduate this april) The trade school was by far tougher and faster paced then college. Higher expectations on completely understanding the material. College has been a breeze comparatively. I really don't think a person should judge something unless they've actually experienced it. Then again, we all rationalize our biases in our own way. What I said was in regards to emotional development that happens at a place like a college or university (not to be confused with simply "going to college".. I'm talking about full fledged living away from home etc etc). I wasn't really talking about what is expected of us academically. And you are right, we all rationalize our biases because in the end, that's what they are. There is no right or wrong. If college were right for everyone, we wouldn't have firefighters or mechanics or a million other people that we need. In the end, it is our experiences that make us who we are, and if it is too hard to identify with another person or their life choices, it makes for a difficult relationship.
RecordProducer Posted July 2, 2006 Posted July 2, 2006 I think Luckystar wrote two great posts here. I also like the analogy Walk made. Some things just don't go hand in hand. We all make personal choices. This has nothing to do with morality and how things should be. There are no shoulds in choosing a partner. Your partner should not necessarily be good-looking or educated or on a good job position. Who the hell are you to tell me what he should or shouldn't be like? It's my life! As long as it's genuine and without any agenda - it's morally acceptable. The moral preachers say lack of sex doesn't matter in a marriage, looks and overweight don't matter, education doesn't matter, money doesn't matter, social scale doesn't matter... well what matters? The thing you can LEAST change is your intelligence. And that matters, right? You also can't change your insecurity and self-acceptance much. But that matters too, and we should dump anyone who is insecure? You can't change your character, but that matters too and if anyone is cranky, he better stays away from people. Do you get my point? Who makes the rules about what's important and what not?
Galaxy Posted July 2, 2006 Posted July 2, 2006 No offense, but never once did I hear of someone say they would be embarrassed to be associated with a firefighter. It's such an honorable job and really in essence shows YOU have character by being with him. If you want to conform to everyone else's standards and become a soulless person who drives a bmw and has not one ounce of character or interesting personality inside... well at least that's how I view many of the "suits". The truth is that it is quite more common for a person to be embarrassed of being married to a lawyer than a firefighter. Afterall, everyone hates lawyers and most of them are crooks! Do you want a STRONG honorable young man who thinks about REALLY helping others and saving their lives, or a weak selfish pussy crooked lawyer in a suit who probably would wimp out trying to protect you if he had to. Men are getting feminized as it is in this culture, but maybe that's what you want? I think college really put your whole mindset out of wack. You really need to see the important things in life.. you are setting yourself up for a miserable life if you fail to recognize that.
Galaxy Posted July 2, 2006 Posted July 2, 2006 IMO: Yes, you are being a superficial bitch. Your man sounds as though he wants to leave this "cushy", financially stable job to fulfill a passion, and move in to a more rewarding job. Firefighters are some of the bravest, selfless men (and women) in the world. The fact that you would be ashamed of introducing this wonderful man to your snotty friends contradicts your claim of being a "down to earth person". If job stereotypes are anything to go by, you sound like a typical laywer. Stick with the "suits" and let this man go out and help people. He needs a woman who is going to support him, be proud of him and admire his bravery... leave him for women like me. SO true. SOrry, but this SNOOTY snot should wind up with another snot and live miserably together! Unreal that she would demean such a selfless man who would put his life on the line to save other peoples lives! REALLY WOMAN, HE DESERVES BETTER!!!.. nOT you, but HIM!
mishy Posted July 2, 2006 Posted July 2, 2006 Have you ever had your house threatened by fire? have you ever had to grab your stuff and run out of the house? a year ago the two houses next to me burnt down. The one next to me half burnt down. i was dead asleep and the firemen banged on my door for half an hour to get me out of bed. They gave me time to get my important possessions and get the hell out of the house. They saved my house from any damage and saved most of my neighbours house. At two in the morning they were up on the roof peeling back the tin like a sardine can , no ropes, risking their own lives to put out the fire in the ceiling. You need to grow up. Yes you are superficial. What in the hell is so heroic about putting on a suit to be a suit with all the other suits ? i have two degrees and I'd marry a fireman any day. Fireman are heroes.
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