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Posted

Hi Everyone,

 

My name is Amy and I am currently in a LDR with my boyfriend Skip (william) who is an officer in the US Army. We have been together almost a year now, and he just left almost 4 weeks ago for Seattle. Yes, I am flying out to see him in 2 weeks, but for some reason, I have been crying on and off these past 2 days. I was fine until now!

 

I miss him so much and am so nervous about the future. Some of this stems from my past relatonship disappointment, but I wish I could turn it off. He gave me a diamond promise ring and says he wants to marry me when he comes back, and we talk ALLLL the time. Yet, I am having a hard time not thinking of him and worrynig about the worst.

 

Are any of you in military relationships? How do you cope? And even to those who are just in LDR's, what do you do to get through the rough patches?

 

He is worth this time apart, and his family and mine are very supportive. I have no doubts I want to do this.

 

Feedback welcome!!

 

Thanks everyone!

Posted

hugs to you, skipsgirl. Long-distance relationships are a bitch to deal with, but you know what? they eventually stop being long-distance and become plain old relationships. Though I've got to admit, adding the military factor to this intensifies the being apart!

 

I did the LDR thing with my husband several years before we married, and I guess what helped the most was that his friend's wife, then later, his mom and sisters, were very sweet about talking with me whenever I got to seriously missing him because they helped me to get to know him better from their stories about him. I won't say that it wasn't hard, because it was, but I knew his contract as a civil service instructor in Saudi Arabia had to end at some point, and we could live like a normal married couple!

 

it's rough not comparing what you've got with him to what you had with other guys, and not feeling that something bad was going to happen, but you've got to work at believing in the best for your relationship and not worrying unless it's absolutely, positively necessary.

 

if it helps, try meeting up with other military spouses, because they're the ones who will have the best insight into what you're dealing with. You'll find a lot of good support there AND you'll be giving a lot of support to another lonely woman facing the same separation anxieties that you are.

 

in the meantime, know that all will be well ...

 

quank

Posted

I understand your situation. I just finished posting to G.I. on how to maintain a stable relationship with his girlfriend while he goes to training.

 

I myself am in a military relationship (not my first). I must first say, that don't worry about thinking of him so much - this is good, because it just shows that you love him dearly. If you didn't think so much then I would raise some questions. Perhaps you could start a hobby or something else to pass the time. This always help. If you feel that you can't stop thinking of him, I suggest writing in a journal and showing it to him when he returns. This will keep you close to him in your heart and lessen the distance felt.

 

When you are there with him, take lots of pictures of you and him. Not just smiley ones, but personal funny ones. I even to a picture of my guys ass crack to bring home once. Something only I see. Keep it silly and light and you will feel wonderful. Don't think about the times apart, think about the homecoming and what you will do to him.

 

When you are there, ask him for more communication. State your reasons why you are requesting a little more. See what he can do for you, to ease you into this temporary separation easier.

 

I always look at it this way... He might be gone for the year, but I will have him with me for the next 60. That brings a smile to my face every time.

 

Good luck, and if you ever need to yack about it, post it and we will get back to you. You could also try connecting on a military spouses board, these women who have been through this for many years of marriage have some great words of advice. Don't let things stir in your head, seek answer, you will feel better. You must stay grounded and don't doubt the trust you have in him. Lot's of people will attempt to doubt. This I know first hand. Find someone who has strength in their own relationship and can help you through strengthening yours.

 

Alex

  • Author
Posted

Alex and Quank,

 

Thanks for your posts. They were helpful. I have been getting involved with hobbies and joining some professional groups such as the AMA and Professional Young Business Women's organizations, which will keep me busy. I craft and am very involved with family and friensd and my dog also..which keeps me smiling. My situation involes Skip being away at least 4 years, as he is not deployed, he is stationed as an Officer. He was commissioned out of college after completing an ROTC program. I am excited to see him in Seattle, just dread knowing I have to LEAVE him after. That will be rough.

 

Quank- I too posted to GI, and hopefully we both can offer some advice to help him. Its always rough being away from someone you love and especially when its to military life. I also appreciate your post. Its nice knowing that there are other people out there i similar situations. Fortunately, I do belong to a military support group enabling me to communicate with other wives and girlfriends. It keeps me sane for the MOST part hehe.

 

 

Alex- I appreciate your post too. The ideas for funny picturse is a good one, and I will use it . I definately will keep in touch and hope to continue hearing from you. Where is your husband now? At sea?

 

 

Thanks everyone!

 

Amy

Posted

Hi William's lady,

 

I am fortunate to have him with me right now. He is however leaving for another tour in Iraq again in December. It will suck when he is gone, but of course we will get through it.

 

Keep in contact!

 

Alex

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

whoa, SkipsGirl, my name's Amy, im from OH, and in a military LDR....freaky lol. i guess i really dont have a whole lot to say, feel free to contact any time you want tho, i know how hard it can be. some days its not so bad, and others theres nothing you want more than to be with that person and you miss them more than ever. dont put your whole life on hold b/c of him, don't refuse to go out w/ friends b/c you're waiting for his phone call every night, but dont lose touch of each other! communicate, be involved in each other's lives, be interested in waht the other is doing, show and tell them you still care, find non physical ways to bond. like i said, feel free to contact me if you want to talk or anything, its after 1am so anything else i say here may or may not come out extremely coherently, lol, so i wont even try to offer many words of wisdom ;-)

Posted
Hi Everyone,

 

My name is Amy and I am currently in a LDR with my boyfriend Skip (william) who is an officer in the US Army. We have been together almost a year now, and he just left almost 4 weeks ago for Seattle. Yes, I am flying out to see him in 2 weeks, but for some reason, I have been crying on and off these past 2 days. I was fine until now!

 

I miss him so much and am so nervous about the future. Some of this stems from my past relatonship disappointment, but I wish I could turn it off. He gave me a diamond promise ring and says he wants to marry me when he comes back, and we talk ALLLL the time. Yet, I am having a hard time not thinking of him and worrynig about the worst.

 

Are any of you in military relationships? How do you cope? And even to those who are just in LDR's, what do you do to get through the rough patches?

 

He is worth this time apart, and his family and mine are very supportive. I have no doubts I want to do this.

 

Feedback welcome!!

 

Thanks everyone!

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