I'm sleeping w' MM -Sccessful,smart & 30 years oldder

[bunnyear]

I'm sorry, but I'm going to ask this again...

 

What on earth are you getting out of this?

 

He flies you into Amsterdam to be there when and where he pleases, in between other 'business'? Leaving you at the airport when his hotel room runs out? He's treating you like a Hooker. And yes, men to talk to prostitutes about their families, their business, and student days (at 52 you'd think he'd have moved on).

==================================================

 

I want to cry now....

he said the money fly me back and forth can f*** a street of hookers.

(50 euro a hour) My ticket is like 450 euros

 

 

Sorry to drag into detail. as I m not happy with his ''dirty talk'' on bed.

He likes it. and something he said did NOT make me feel comfortable.

''look so innocent girl. but horny bicth on bed''

after we saw the ''red light sight''. He even talked to me like i m hooker.

''what do i get hooker cannot give? french kisses. now. it is my turn. u have to work for ur money.''

well it is maybe all normal sexy dirty talek which turn man on. but I just do NOT feel comfortable. something sounds wrong. and I dont know what is it.

 

He lied to about his age. also. I doubt now whether his wife really LET him cheat outside. As he mentioned they working in same company.

Once he was watching pretty models. his wife poked his arm very upsetly.

I dont know.

He is dutch by the way.

[Fun2BMe]

the fact that a upper-class guy who does not ''PAY'' me but having a so called relationship/friendship make me feel better? filling my ego only? also make me feel respected?

How does it make you feel any better that he is a player who as others have said, is obvious he pays hookers all across Europe, and can clearly afford it, yet you are giving everything to him for free. He is treating you identical if not worse than a hooker, and on top of it not paying you anything, yet you feel better because you are fooling yourself to think you are not a hooker and he likes you more than any of the other girls when in his mind he sees you as a free hooker. It wouldn't make a difference to HIM if he handed you $100 or left it by the nightstand. Since he knows you do not expect it, he uses that money towards his travel and hotel expenses which to him is the same as paying you directly. Either way he is spending it on you to have no strings attached sex.

 

He has no respect for you because of the way you described he treats you - abandoning you at the airport as soon as one of his other girls calls him. And yes he opens up to all of the other girls too so don't feel so special or that he likes you more. I'm sure his wife is familiar with his story and doesn't say "wow" every time he tells it. He even expected you to say "wow" on a simple detail such as his age. He is used to girls oohh-ing and ahhh-ing over every little detail about him. Most of the others (the hookers) probably do it to a much more extreme degree so that they will get paid more.

 

If he lied to you about something as trivial as his age, what makes you think he would tell you the truth if that phone call at the airport was really from another girl or as he said from an employee which I think was a lie? Also, he is pretending his wife is ok with his cheating so that you will not feel guilty about the fact that he is married and not take that into consideration to decide whether or not to be with him. If she was so ok with it, and he brags of what a wonderful marriage it is to have a wife that is ok with him cheating, then why did you see that she looked upset and tugged his arm when he was watching the models? Again, actions speak louder than words.

 

Also, you are so obsessed that he is "upper-class". How does his being "upper-class" aside from having additional zeros at the end up of his bank account balance affect YOU in ANY WAY? Are you that impressed by a sleazy old playboy just because he is 'sucessful' (not morally) and has some money, enough to afford buying women, flying them in from wherever like toys then disposing of them at whim as soon as another toy is in the picture?

 

You should not be so impressed with his social status, wealth, age, and all of that. It is blurring your judgement to do the right thing, which is to not see him or talk to him. If he was so wise with age, he would not have a sexual relationship with a 22 year old, knowing it could cause her to develop feelings. But HE DOESN'T CARE. He knows you are impressed with his wealth, AND YOU ARE. Get over it. He is not going to be leaving any of it to you. He has a wife who he said he has no intentions of leaving.

 

I want to cry now....

he said the money fly me back and forth can f*** a street of hookers.

(50 euro a hour) My ticket is like 450 euros

He doesn't tell you about the other hookers which cost at least 2000 euros he has no problem paying. Why should he when he has you for free and wants you to feel special just because he spends a few euros on an airline ticket on you, which to him is nothing, that he probably charges to his business expense account anyways. I am nowhere near how wealthy you describe him, yet I can easily afford to dispose of 450 eruos here and there. Why does that impress you so much? Do you have that little self worth? If he is so rich, then why does he make you feel like s*** by comparing you to the cost of hookers? He has NO class, but you are blinded so much by his money for some reason. I have an older friend who is wealthy and extremely successful. The difference is that he is HONEST and has CLASS. This guy is SCUM and nothing to be impressed by.

[bunnyear]

crying.......

[Fun2BMe]

crying.......

Please don't cry. I didn't mean to upset you. I just feel really bad for you because when I was your age, I was in the same exact situation and feel angry that I didn't know any better and nobody helped to get me out of it. I ended up wasting a lot of precious years and having a lot of heart ache. I feel like I owe it to open the eyes to another woman in the same situation I suffered which at the time I was so impressed by the welathy older man and flattered that I didn't know any better. Please, see it that you will not get fooled and hurt and move on.

[bunnyear]

Thank you.

U didnot upset me.

I m just upset with myself.

and I really thank people who tell me the truth and ''slap me'' to make me sober.

i really need ''slap''

 

I will think about it.

I will never contact him anymore.

 

(as i was vain, I did have hope that maybe he can be any use/advice benefit to me as a friend as he requested so to stay in friends)

[Fun2BMe]

I know it will be hard to not contact him and to cut ties, but the sooner you do it, the better. The longer you wait, the harder it will be to do it. Don't make any excuses of benefits in your head. Deep down you know it is wrong to be with him. You can get plenty of great advice on life, business and any other aspect of your life from places such as this website.

 

I would give anything to rewind time, to be back at the early stages where you are at right now at your age, and leave the man I was with who robbed me of my emotions and time. It is better to cry now and move on, than to be under his spell and in his game, playing by his rules which are not very nice ones, depriving you of having your needs met. Don't sacrifice yourself for this type of man. You are much better than him and deserve more than he will ever give be able to give you.

[bunnyear]

when I met him 1st time.

He didnot tell me his business. his cars. His background.

He dressed up quite normal.--no expensive impressing outfit/watch,

He stayed in Hiatt--a 4 star hotel?

He just mentioned he working with Cindy crowford..etc.

I have met richer people than him. so i was not really impressed. But he was really gentleman.

 

I turned him down for this date.

 

later 2 months. I was having a hard time. on-off relationship with my university sweetheat for 4 years since i was 19. I was v sad. No one to talk to--I thought of him. I wanna try to be cool girl. f*** with heartless . and also a experience. So i called him back.

 

He was very happy. Asap return my contact. Calling me. Asking for situation etc. And I was looking for jobs ( i was on a cross road dont know what to do with my life yet--now it is sorted. I am going back to uni to do more education) and he met me in London. and very skillfully told me that he MAY have some potential jobs but it is not up yet. I have to sort out job for myself for now.

I was v tired. I had sex with him quite soon without games.

If i take a guy seriously . I would delay.

 

he seemed v happy. he flied to see me twice already.

and he constantly inviting me to Amsterdam.

So I think for politeness I should make some effort.

 

So then I arrive at lunch time. He came to pick me up in airport.

things going on well.

some little thing I dont find comfortable:

 

sometimes he can be bossy( getting used to talk to employee like this?)

he canbe judgemental and quite cynicle.(I like to see the nice side of people . i dont like reveal dark side)

he is quite pushy for getting my background.

we met twice. I m not v open to him as he is blablabla so open to me.

and i wasnot in a mood to talk about my short 22 years life.

He is like pushing me to admit that I married before and broke up now.

and he asap judged that I may marry for convinience.

 

Somehting else I dont like but cannot have a clue is:

He always like to talk about super models working for him.-

talking about going out with them as professional work reasons --people envy his arm candy etc.

 

He is quite patronising sometimes.

yes. I m naive. I m 22. I m from mid-class family.

but I dont like people to reminds that things he spend on is expensive.

like i m some pennyless girl never experienced that.

and I dont bother to correct him sometimes.

[bunnyear]

yes. FUN 2 B ME.

 

u r right.

 

I get MUCH more nicer and useful life advice from this website and from u and other nice gals and all other nice people.

 

I m glad I have experienced this. it is pain.

I hope i will not make same mistake again twice in life.

and throw my vain out.

 

P.s.I m a foreign girl in UK.

[Fun2BMe]

I am curious if you don't mind my asking, where you are originally from if you mean you are a foreigner in the UK? You don't have to answer if you don't want.

[Fun2BMe]

Also, you say he is bossy, pushy, cynical and patronizing. I know you were prepared to overlook all those things because you thought the world of him, but those are not the traits you want in someone. The fact that he tries to impress you about being around models, that is extremely disrespectful. It is as though he tries to without making it obvious always show you who is more important, who is in charge. Big deal he is around models. I have been around actors and a lot of 'big' people. I don't use it to define myself or to impress anybody. He is probablyl used to being around women who he gives the impression and hope that he could turn them into models. I know a lot of girls who have been fooled to be with men who promise them of things like that, and I have fallen for it myself. Some of us learn the hard way.

[bunnyear]

I am curious if you don't mind my asking, where you are originally from if you mean you are a foreigner in the UK? You don't have to answer if you don't want.

=======================================

I m asian girl came to UK to study in university. Met my husband there in same uni and got married.

I did love him. it is not for visa. I dont blame people naturally think about things that way.

but he just immediately split out:'' ah. i know people marry for citizenship, good. at least u manage to stay in this country''.

maybe i m paranoid. But it sounds bit--rude

 

He is president of a Intl company in holland. Have ferrari, sea-side house etc. Family big background.

Models working for him for advertisment. Maybe he just naturally talking/showing off his works to me.

(he showed these information to me AFTER he got me into bed. so it is ok. not too bad. ) What he showed Before sex is '' he is always flying all the time. in business class''.

 

I havenot thought about he can give me chance to be model yet. as I m not tall enough. only 5'7 and I know my oriental face doesnot reflect the light of camera very well. As I tried modelling before in the Uk. cannot make survive money. I got offer for cabin crew. but it doesnot mean i m suitable for model face.

 

I know I m ok looking girl. Men after me most times is after a foreign f*** as they think i m exotic. which is sad for me.

 

He is different as he charmed me. He talked his life to me as many other guys dont bother to. they wanna sex if canot get it --run away asap even no effort to wana get to know me more.

talk is words only. yes. but he did charm me.

 

I was touched.

 

I think as 1st generation immigrate.

I m vain. I wanna recognition so much from the marjor society on this otherpeople's land.

 

N now I learned that I have to Find my own recognition from MYSELF 1st. not from the society and Upper class.

[bunnyear]

ah. yes true. u r right.

 

Let me recall.

 

As he is in charge of whom (models) to employ for the advertising.(for a short periold).

He does have the right to go to hand pick models. and all those beauty contest even as a judge.

 

He even employed one of ex-super model as his PA after her modelling job contract finished. and he told me business men just cannot keep eyes off his PA and concerntrate on business.

 

he can sounds quite ruthless sometimes which is bit scaring.

He is social climber himself. Even from big family, but parents passed away really early. He climbed all the way up to mid-management-get rid of partners of company and become president.

He even mentioned once that life is like 2 people drop into sea with one piece of wood. either he die or the other. He has to survive. which is not wrong.

 

Yes. I was madly see him as rold model as his success and social status.

He always trying to teach me to grow up and be STRONG INDependent girl etc. which i m benefiting and learning from him.

......

[stillafool]

Bunnyear you speak a lot about money and rich guys. Is that what you are attracted to? If you concentrate on these things you will never find your soul mate. I suggest if you really love money that much you should continue your education and make your own. You seem ambitious. Also you will get great advice from counselors, lectures, seminars, etc. This guy might be lying about a lot of things. He sounds really smart to you because you are 30 yrs. younger than he. I wonder how he would sound to a 40 or 50 yr. old woman? I think too that when he left you at the airport he went to see another woman. If his employee was on the phone he could have directed him what to do not run off to meet him. What is the employee getting paid for? See my drift? This guy is sleeazzzzzzzz!

 

Seriously though, your conversation seems to be more about his money, possessions, lifestyle, etc. Money will never, ever buy you happiness. If I gather this from your conversation so does he. I think he is treating you like a prostitute because he can tell you are interested in wealth. He is use to this behavior and may not be as rich as you think.

[stillafool]

BTW, do not look to this guy as a role model. I wouldn't want my dog to look up to him. His poor wife. What do you want from him? How can you say he may be looking at you as a daughter when he has slept with you? That isn't fatherly behavior.

[bunnyear]

I m in university.

I wanna my qulification and career.

also yes. I m superficial.

i wanna everything.

 

I wanna a successful husband looks better than other girl's ordinary partner.

 

feel free to despise me. really. thank u.

I need that.

I m honest with u.

[bunnyear]

I make up my mind now. I feel so peaceful now.

 

I delete all his contact way. his email address. his telephone number.

the history of old sms and email.

 

so now when he comes back from 2 weeks holiday. if he didnot contact me. I can never contact him .

 

if.. he try to warm up again. and chase me.

 

I prepared a sms there :

 

 

choose one of following. Then I will choose one based on it.

• A: pure decent non-f*** non-profit true friends who input effort of showing care love and be there for each other.
  
• B: f***. NO TALK strictly.
  
• C: cut off completely.

He chooses A. i take A . He chooses C. i take C.

He chooses B. well. he is good f***. but no- I will choose C.

[stillafool]

I m in university.

I wanna my qulification and career.

also yes. I m superficial.

i wanna everything.

 

I wanna a successful husband looks better than other girl's ordinary partner.

 

feel free to despise me. really. thank u.

I need that.

I m honest with u.

 

I appreciate your honesty. It is good you are in a university getting your qualifications for a good career. You are young and have a long time to acquire wealth. You do not need a husband to obtain it or to be successful. Especially someone else's husband. Also I guess it depends on what your idea of success is. Some see it as financial others see it as peace and happiness. I do not despise you as I don't even know you. I can tell you I know women married to wealthy men who envy relationships between women who have so called "ordinary" men. However, I don't think a lack of wealth makes one "ordinary". You are young and will see how life unfolds but search yourself for what you are really looking for. You call yourself superficial - is this how you want to be or do you want to change? I can't see you ever finding true happiness with that attitude. Again, I'm not trying to be mean but to open your eyes.

[bunnyear]

sex part can reflect men's any er... thing?

 

1st time. he is so gentleman.

long foreplay. maybe even didnot plan sex.

kiss. hug. so sweet.

 

2nd time. it is like so desperate once he met me at aiport.

the 1st thing is sex after we arrive at hotel.

He didnot do much foreplay at all that make me feel bit sore.

no kiss. just kiss my ear and neck. and some small foreplay. then ''peng''!

 

later in the night i m really tired after ''red light district'' view. 11pm.

and i got flu as well. (with flu tablet making me more sleepy).

I had shower 1st b4 bed.

He was drinking whiskey in bed. waiting for me. I climbed into bed remmeber i should put more perfum on.

and he is like. ''what ? again? i see u tommorrow?''

and then dirty talk as told b4 as above--sounds like i m hooker---(we just saw 5 streets of hookers in the window)--his fantasy?

next morning as well.

generally i m just tired. he did the work. I dont really like Marathon Sex.

he enjoyed it slowly. and his dirty talking mentioned'' horny bitch. no wonder u wanna me bring friends''

I was like''ar?'' he said ''joking''

 

but i dont feel it is great sex anymore.

 

sorry. have not met many guys who love dirty talking.

maybe i m bit over-react?

 

but after all.

I am upset that guys don't do long foreplay b4 and hug after anymore.

reflecting they r selfish. and hypcrite before they get u into bed.

[MarnieGirl]

he is my role-model.

he told me all this life story.

and he been so sweet to me.

i know it is silly. i m wasting my time.

but i m thinking how many chance in rest of my life can meet a perfect guy like him?

 

that's probably what his wife thought.

 

you really think he's perfect? i'm just not sure how...?

 

it is silly and you are wasting your time. you gave us all the details about he kind of sucks as a person, but then you convince yourself this married 50 year old is perfect. how can we help you if you're blinding yourself to what he's doing?

 

and...the problem is not by any means all just him by the way.

 

I am upset that guys don't do long foreplay b4 and hug after anymore.

reflecting they r selfish. and hypcrite before they get u into bed.

 

you don't like selfish hypocrites, but it didn't bother you one bit that he was married. i don't get it. if you're looking for real love and respect, don't run in the direction of a married man.

[bunnyear]

ah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I suddenly got a shock by thinking about all this!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

why i m a free whore???!!!!

 

Do men nowdays make use of / take advantage of women's independence???

 

 

As I thought this relationship is on fair level. no one has been taken!!

we are equal!!

 

men use this thought!!!!! to get free whore.

 

worse than whore is free whore???!!!!!!!!!!!

[MarnieGirl]

ah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I suddenly got a shock by thinking about all this!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

why i m a free whore???!!!!

 

Do men nowdays make use of / take advantage of women's independence???

 

men use this thought!!!!! to get free whore.

 

yes some men do that, but women have their own minds and can make their own decisions. too often the 'wiley ways of the evil male' are blamed, when a simple "no" from the female would have done the trick. it's that whole "it takes two" thing, i suppose;how unfortunate for the egos of many that it's true.

 

it's possible to be manipulated, but manipulation takes time, enough time to stop it.

 

glad you're seeing the light, for the sake of everyone involved, including you. good luck.

[crazy_grl]

Do men nowdays make use of / take advantage of women's independence???

 

I think it's the naiveness of your age he's taking advantage of not your independence.

 

As I thought this relationship is on fair level. no one has been taken!!

we are equal!!

 

This is not at all equal, and it very rarely is when one person has 30 years of life experience on the other person.

 

men use this thought!!!!! to get free whore.

 

worse than whore is free whore???!!!!!!!!!!!

 

He's using the idea that you'll be impressed by his wealth and all his stories and that you'll be naive enough to accept this arrangement with him to get a free whore as you put it.

 

It has nothing to do with your independence. I doubt he'd be able to pull this BS on many 40 or even 30 year old independent women because they'd see right through him and show him the door before he even got a chance to run his game.

 

If you weren't treating this as an equal thing and instead treating him like some kind of sugar daddy, what would that have really gotten you. I guess you might have some extra cash or some jewelry right now, but you'd still be getting used and treated like a whore.

[MarnieGirl]

I think it's the naiveness of your age he's taking advantage of not your independence.

 

 

It has nothing to do with your independence. I doubt he'd be able to pull this BS on many 40 or even 30 year old independent women because they'd see right through him and show him the door before he even got a chance to run his game.

 

oh, i thought she just meant being single and on her own...since single women are usually easier targets for someone looking to exploit them for whatever reason. but you said it better, crazy grl,it makes more sense now.

 

and from what i see on this forum, i don't know about those 30 and 40 y/o women knowing any better.

[bunnyear]

crazy girl.

u r wrong.

did u read my previous post?

 

 

we made this very clear. friendship dinner sex that is all.

 

I dont take or request a extra penny from him.

 

dont judge me even before u know what is really going on.

 

sometimes he tried to give me extra cash while refund my travel fare.

I dont take it.

I have my own money.

[bunnyear]

crazy girl:

 

he does NOT have FERRARI tatoo on his face.

I have no idea of his business when I met him. and I never asked what he is doing unless he tells me.

 

It is not money. it is AMBITION.

even he is a poor scientist. I would still admire him even he is short of cash as long as he potential succussful.

 

hope u get a clue.

 

AMBITION.