I'm sleeping w' MM -Sccessful,smart & 30 years oldder

[bunnyear]

He is in europe.

I am in UK.

We met in March 2006.

He is tall, blone, blue eyes, sexy, young-looking, smart, clever, successful, nice, charming. sincere, and super rich.

 

1. He never hide the fact he is Married.

2. He is happily married.

3. He said: it is not life-long relationship. and it is casual dating.

friendship + sex. as long as we intrigue each other.

 

He was quite attentive before he got me. Call me, give me work email address. Leave voice mail. Came to see me -escape from office.

 

1st date. went ok. (intimacy need time to build up). In the end of 1st date/ he invites to his country. I agreed. (he pays for all the travel fare).

and told me that while he is away, if i send him email to his work eamil box. It will be copyed and his PA can see it.

 

so i stop email him.

 

2nd date. 24 hours with him.

my flight is 1pm arrive. next day 9pm leave.

Dates going on ok. I got flu, so sex is so so. 3 times.

Morning he took me to see views until after lunch 2pm. He got meeting 5pm in office( one and half hour drive back to his company).

So he dropped me in airport at 2pm. while I stayed there 7 hours and 20 mins!

 

afterwards. He seems very busy as his 2 weeks annual holiday is coming.

he replied to my txt still--but not very personally anymore. Quite polite and distance.

 

So I m thinking maybe he got his sex conquest already. wanna keep distance to cool things down.

So i lost patience. txt him that i wanna finish it.

he didnot try to stop me but insist wanna be trust worthy friends for me whenver i need warm shoulder.

 

I m confused. I dont like mess up with married man. I do like him so much and i dont wannt to admit it as i want to save dignity. even i behaved very cool. but it is still hard for me to mention ''end it'' to him. but it is sensible.

 

maybe i m paranoid. maybe he is really busy. maybe it was him sneaky plan.-let me be the person to give ''end it '' speech. whatever.

I want to finish it.

 

now. i dont know what to do with his ''friendship'' request.

shall i cut him off completely?

or accept it?

 

he :

1. really wanna be friends. beyond sex he does like me as a more like daughter role.

2. it is a nice gesture.

3. he wanna hope to rebound.

 

what shall i do?(honestly, I do wanna keep in touch with him as i like him so much-he is Mr. perfect. But also I wanna quickly cut it b4 we get attched and b4 he dumps me later)

[bunnyear]

I dont doubt his sincere that he wants to stay friends.

 

as. 1st time. I gave him some warning after he being ''busy''

 

I said If one day the time comes. we should inform each other clearly with no delay.

 

he asap replied to me and said sorry he was really busy. ofcourse if things come up. we will inform each other with no delay. But he would like to stay friends with me even one day i found my Mr. right.

 

and later. I said: it is time now. i want to finish it.

 

he said. Let us keep in touch after I come back from annual holiday. I would like to stay trustworthy friends with u.

[SoleMate]

shall i cut him off completely?

Yes. His WORDS may promise "friendship" and "treating you like a daughter", but his ACTIONS tell a different story. The best thing is to walk away and look for men who:

 

* Are single

* Are your age

* Live in your country

[Sami_D]

Hello bunnyear. I'm in the UK too.

 

To be honest, I think you're wasting your time with this man... what's the point?

[Guest]

he is my role-model.

he told me all this life story.

and he been so sweet to me.

i know it is silly. i m wasting my time.

but i m thinking how many chance in rest of my life can meet a perfect guy like him?

[stillafool]

Honey I'm so sorry this happened to you but from my point of view it looks like he got what he wanted and now "just want to be friends" which means we may or may not get together again. If you said sex wasn't that great maybe he thought so too. If he is 30 yrs. older and super rich I can almost guarantee you this is not new to him. He is probably use to flying women here and there and disposing of them. He probably also knows women are impressed by his status and money which makes them easy prey for him. Consider yourself lucky that it seems to be ending now instead of after you fall head over heels for him and you would.

[bunnyear]

sweet memory:

 

He was nice to me as:

He flies to see me twice even he is very busy.

He booked 5-star hotel suite.

He really made plan for 24 hours to spend time with me in the city --countryside. views. food.

He TOLD me his poppy love. his pet, his wife. his business.

He cared my relationship/career etc. and give me some advice i found really useful.

He sounds sincere.

Maybe i just choose to be half-blind to his dark-side?and build up a fatansy of charming prince on him?

[stillafool]

sweet memory:

 

He was nice to me as:

He flies to see me twice even he is very busy

That is nice but you may have been on his way. Also he is a billionare and money is no object for him. This would be more impressive if a guy who wasn't so rich was making the sacrifice to fly and see you.

 

He booked 5-star hotel suite.

Of course this is probably the only type of hotel he stays at.

 

He really made plan for 24 hours to spend time with me in the city --countryside. views. food.

24 hours. Is that really so much time? Not even a weekend?

 

He TOLD me his poppy love. his pet, his wife. his business.

I don't understand what you are saying here.

He cared my relationship/career etc. and give me some advice i found really useful.

This is doing no more than anyone would do. Don't be confused by this. However any career advice he can give you will probably help a lot.

He sounds sincere.

Sincere about what? Did he tell you he loved you?

Maybe i just choose to be half-blind to his dark-side?and build up a fatansy of charming prince on him?

Trust me this is a fantasy of a prince charming but unfortunately he's not yours. I understand fantasy as I am in NC with a MM myself. Another point I'd like to make is don't get caught up in all the fancy things he can do for you because it will just make it harder on the next guy who can't afford to do these things but who may be better for you in the long run. No your billionare knows exactly what he is doing and he apparently knows how to do it well and keep you at arms length after he gets what he wants. He has experience.

 

I don't want to hurt you but to shake you a little. We want to see and hear what we want to see and hear. How old are you and how old is he?

[bunnyear]

thank you.--above.

 

I m 22. he is 52.

i m bit confused and emotional and sad.

I dont wanna believe he is an ordinary a**h*** drop into normal player-billionare pattern again.

I wish he is the charming guy that he behaved on 1st date.

 

pls help.

[bunnyear]

yes. He is quite something.

a famous company president in his country. and have all those vanity things.

I do wanna cut him off completely.

but he does give me life advice so useful recently.

his view of things, relationship, business is something i cannot get from a 30 something guy.

that is what stop me cutting him out of my life.

 

but now he becomes ''busy'' after last date. I m even sure whether he can continue give me what i want as above.

he wanna be ''trustworthy'' friends.

how he treats me now is not something true friends do to each other.

 

well, at least. he is honest. he never lie-about his married fact. his business. never lied about out relationship or misleading me to give me any hope. he even tell me that my life is a cup of coffee. he is just the cream on top. he will not be the important man in my life . and we both know that.

fair enough.

I m just trying to figure out he is sincere or a hypcrite.

[crazy_grl]

bunnyear, what are you hoping to get out of this? He already told you flat out that he's happily married, only wants sex, and won't leave his wife. Ok, so he included that he wanted friendship in there too, but it's pretty much a given that guys just say that in order to avoid looking like a complete sleeze.

 

Are you comfortable this being a sex-only arrangement. When you start talking about "prince charming" and "mr. perfect" it makes me think that you're thinking about him as something more? Are you?

[bunnyear]

let me think....

my brain is mess.

 

Ok. before i did have f*** buddy as well(only once). really except sex, nothing else need to talk about. or have interest in common.

 

but this one---in the begining i thought i can be cool. i can try it for experience. as he really looks so cute and perfect.

 

so then after we get to know each other. apart from great sex(experience as well). i like his personality as well. and I m suprised that he doesnot mind to show his personal life to me which is really different from my previous f*** buddy relationship.

 

He seems like willing to tell me his fear, his sadness, his happiness.

that I see him as role model.

from nobel family. parents pass away young. he got cancer and then got over it. and married with wife from 28 til now 52.

 

I think i remind him of the lost of youth. and more likely he sees me as daughter( he has no kids).

 

He is clearly successful and so so clever. --I m not sure about sneaky though.

 

He works with super models daily and it does satisfy my ego that he was chasing me.

His wife seems like know what is going on him-playing outside as long as not divorce or bring girls home.

 

quite a marriage!

 

i told him that i m looking for Mr. right as well. he gave me advices and asking what type of men i like. and mention we could stay good friends after even i find my other half.

 

he said he is scared of losing things. so when his puppy love left him. he was v sad. and managed to stay life long friends with her.

and he had other girls as well including a cabin crew.--who married a pilot. I think something is going on between them. and now they decide to keep it only as ''friends'' now.

 

i m only one of the girls he had and will have.

is it just a sex conquest?

 

i filled his ego that he is f***ing a junior 30 years younger .

and he fills my ego that i m f***ing a senior who has successful career that i m after-a role model?

 

yes. i m vain. I hardly meet this type of guy in real life. (well, i do meet billionares wanna just couple of shags.. and they have no class--that is why i never did before)

when i met him, i dont know that he is super rich and powerful. his look and personality attracts me before i realise his fortune.

but he seems like a ''friend'' worth to keep.

 

but meanwhile i got more and more emotional attached.

[No Stress Lady]

yes. He is quite something.

a famous company president in his country. and have all those vanity things.

I do wanna cut him off completely.

but he does give me life advice so useful recently.

his view of things, relationship, business is something i cannot get from a 30 something guy.

that is what stop me cutting him out of my life.

 

but now he becomes ''busy'' after last date. I m even sure whether he can continue give me what i want as above.

he wanna be ''trustworthy'' friends.

how he treats me now is not something true friends do to each other.

 

well, at least. he is honest. he never lie-about his married fact. his business. never lied about out relationship or misleading me to give me any hope. he even tell me that my life is a cup of coffee. he is just the cream on top. he will not be the important man in my life . and we both know that.

fair enough.

I m just trying to figure out he is sincere or a hypcrite.

 

He wants you for sex.

 

He has told you he is married and therefore there is no future in this relationship unless he divorces - which he is not going to do.

 

You are clearly overawed by his money and status - ask yourself honestly if you would be interested in him if he was poor!!!!!!

 

He is away most of the time and he probably has other mistresses as well as you.

 

The "cream on his coffee" is sex with you. And he probably has "cream on his coffee" all over Europe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Sounds to me that he's been honest with you. I just don't think you are being honest with yourself. Hence your need for advice here.

 

You clearly want more than he is offering and you WILL be disappointed.

 

Take the relationship for what it is - sex and power - IF you can handle it - but don't be surprised if one day he just dumps you!!!!!!!!!

 

He's a player and you don't sound an emotional match for him at all.

[bunset]

bunnyear,

 

you won't get more than the sex and wineing and dining from him.. maybe a few gifts.

If you ever want more... it just isn't gonna happen.

If you fear falling for him, and it sounds like you do, stop NOW.

He probably has at least another 3 or 4 girls like you. He sounds awful!

Think about what you might end up with... nothing.

 

It's OK to look out for yourself and take what you need, but remember the limits of he he has to offer.

[The slayer]

Honey stop hoping this man is going to turn into prince charming. He never will.

 

He probably isn't even a billionaire and for all you know he has already slept with all the supermodels who will have him.

 

Anyone that much older than you is going to give you at least some good advice.

 

Forget about him, he isn't your friend and I certainly hope he doesn't see you as his daughter!

[bunnyear]

I am thinking what u said:

let me close eyes and imagine that if he was poor. will I still fanacy him?

 

I love his ambition. (also, even if he is poor, his look and figure and his honesty is so cute.)

He told me his life story:

 

upper class up-bring.

his mum and dad passed away in order before he finishes university.

he dropped out of uni and getinto Big 4,

then change into real estate-make big money.

then got fired.

back to uni-get law qulified.

get serious illness during uni final year. conqured it.

met wife in uni. get married.

 

such an ambition and strong character.

he was always player when he was 20 something.

met his wife. marriage stayed faithful for 2-3 years.

it was their goal to stay faithful forever.

he was faithful when he was in love with his wife.

they are in same uni. same company. living together. no kids.

but they hardly see each other as they are always flying for business.

He said he doesnot want kids as he knew he doesnot have the matching responsibility as a good father-too busy etc.

 

His attitude is always like this. even while he was with serious girlfriend when he was young and single. living together-mind--faithfully but body swings.

 

He is from europe. so i guess it is culture gap?

 

So it is not really money issue i fall for him. I never get a penny from him nor any gift. apart from dinner -- i dont really give it a s*** for free dinner--i m on diet.

 

So i think it is his life story --his ambition. his climbing ...thing attracts me. as I wanna be a strong person as him. quite a unique guy.

 

but u r right. he is player. it is unfair a 52 with a 22?

 

I really dont feel good at all while i was sitting in the amsterdam airport from 2pm to 9.20pm by myself.

while we dating. his phone is on all the time. people calling him (business).

and when i arrived. he told me that sorry. something is up. he had a meeting cannot refuse at 5pm. that after we check out 12pm lunch time. he can show me around to see the view for a while.

but someone called. he seemed upset and told me that his employee cannot do good teamworking. and he wanna go back to office earlier.

So he dropped me 2pm.

 

I m not paranoid. but really doesnot feel good by what he done.

esp when i try to reach him by phone. he said he will not touch his phone in weekend or personal holiday while he is with wife and maybe other people. So he replied to my txt only in weekday time. more like office time. NOT in weekend . Not in his holiday.

 

let me recall our sms content. most likely in the begining he tries to lead me into sex talk. then found out i dont like it at all. we stayed quite pleasent other talk. like his student life. his family. his business news etc.

 

 

it is 1st time i get into this type of relationship--if u call it a relationship.

i dont know what to do.

 

I am confused.

[bunnyear]

forgot to say that

he likes swinging? i think.

he tried my attitude b4. and knew i dont like it. so he stops talking about it ever.

 

one thing he lied is his AGE.

he said he is 41.

I knew he is actualy oldder that clearly but for polite i didnot question him.

 

after out last date. during breakfast.

he seems really happy that saying: i have something wanna shock u.

guess how old i m.

me------" 40 something "?

him---''thank u. u make my day. i m 52.

 

I dont feel quite happy about it.

why telling me this after 2nd date?

[The slayer]

It doesn't sound like you have had any "dates" you met for sex twice and he abandoned you at an airport, when he had to go back to work.

 

I may sound cruel, but this is clearly going nowhere, I honestly wouldn't be suprised if you never hear from him again.

[bunnyear]

ah!!!

 

is it like a great guy can never be owned by one woman only?

it would never be fair if a woman have him completely?

 

like clinton and JFK?

their wives tolerant them as what?

seems like most successful guy all have some girls outside for fun while marry a LADY?

 

it is not good for my self--esteem at all.

I dont know whether i m social-climber or not yet. I am confused of what i want now.

[bunnyear]

what is proper date?

 

We went out to see all the views. walk.. talk.. he showed me his fav books.. dogs..

he is pretty much open to me ==i have not met a guy so emotional open to me on first couple of dates talking about his family--mum. dad. wife.

his sadness so .. true.

 

or it is just his inter-personal skills?

[crazy_grl]

ah!!!

is it like a great guy can never be owned by one woman only?

 

I disagree with that. A great guy would only want one woman... or would at least keep the promises he's made (as in his marriage vows).

 

seems like most successful guy all have some girls outside for fun while marry a LADY?

 

Successful, as in rich and powerful, does not equate to a great guy as far as relationships are concerned. He was only faithful to his wife for 2 or 3 years. He doesn't sound like a great guy at all. He sounds like slime.

[KnowHowLoveFeels]

Hi Bunnyear!

 

I know someone who has several qualities of your MM -- my H!

(If you know my story, you'd know that this is NOT a good thing! )

 

 

I love his ambition. He told me his life story

 

Yup! That's what drew me to my H. I always knew that he'd make something out of himself. And he was always honest with me. He'd tell me aobut things just the way he sees it. I found it endearing as well.

 

such an ambition and strong character.

he was always player when he was 20 something.

met his wife. marriage stayed faithful for 2-3 years.

it was their goal to stay faithful forever.

he was faithful when he was in love with his wife.

they are in same uni. same company. living together. no kids.

but they hardly see each other as they are always flying for business.

He said he doesnot want kids as he knew he doesnot have the matching responsibility as a good father-too busy etc.

 

His attitude is always like this. even while he was with serious girlfriend when he was young and single. living together-mind--faithfully but body swings.

 

These are all RED FLAGS for any SERIOUS relationship with him!

 

I really dont feel good at all while i was sitting in the amsterdam airport from 2pm to 9.20pm by myself.

while we dating. his phone is on all the time. people calling him (business).

and when i arrived. he told me that sorry. something is up. he had a meeting cannot refuse at 5pm. that after we check out 12pm lunch time. he can show me around to see the view for a while.

but someone called. he seemed upset and told me that his employee cannot do good teamworking. and he wanna go back to office earlier.

So he dropped me 2pm.

 

That's my H there too! Business first - always!

 

I know, you are making excuses for his inconsiderate behaviors... because you want him to be MR. PERFECT. But let me tell you from what you've written about this man... he's a selfish narissist who loves nobody but himself. Think aobut it. Everything is really about him, his convenience, his ego, his life, his stories, his success. You are his sink that he can pour all his 'success' stories into!

 

So what if he's super rich? My husband is on the way there.... and I find myself more and more repulsed by him!! My H is not a player (thank god!); he loves me the most - after his love for prestige, wealth, and admiration from strangers!

 

What you love is the idea of being in his position. You don't love the guy at all! Once you actually know the person... you'd find out that he's really very one-tracked minded. He plays the same tape over and over again!

 

You are still young. You can get a guy who can love you back.

[zarathustra]

he :

1. really wanna be friends. beyond sex he does like me as a more like daughter role.

 

HELLO!!! Eeeeew!

[Sami_D]

I'm sorry, but I'm going to ask this again...

 

What on earth are you getting out of this?

 

He flies you into Amsterdam to be there when and where he pleases, in between other 'business'? Leaving you at the airport when his hotel room runs out? He's treating you like a Hooker. And yes, men to talk to prostitutes about their families, their business, and student days (at 52 you'd think he'd have moved on).

[bunnyear]

at least ur marriage looks pretty.

 

 

I m still confused!!!!!!!! ---

what i want???

 

I m vain. yes. but i can never give up my dignity for cash. never.

i had never given up my dignity in the past neither.

 

There were similar rich /richer white guys there offering money-sex contract.

aparment + car + world travelling 1st class holiday ==with him as long as i m single.

 

with this guy----i dont get any benefit at all from business point of view.

and why i stay with him???

 

his player ''looking- fair'' agreement (which saving his money to get shag) makes me feel respected? --dinner + friendship + sex?==mannual agreement.

 

the fact that a upper-class guy who does not ''PAY'' me but having a so called relationship/friendship make me feel better? filling my ego only? also make me feel respected?

 

I am so confused.

If i m really vain.

then i am a stupid vain.

 

what i want if it is not cash? why i want to be in upper-class so much to get recognition?

am I a social climber?