NightsInWhiteSatin Posted June 27, 2006 Posted June 27, 2006 Somethings jogged my memory back to when my ex would be drunk and he'd come out with the most awful things you could say to a person and it was like a total pyschotic personality had taken over putting things there that werent real etc and we'd argue i'd cry etc etc and then he'd grab me and kiss me and start undressing me and go straight for intercourse and he loved it he seemed to get a kick out of it and would grab hold of me and rather roughly move me into different positions which wasn't like him he was gentle and would normally let me move myself or suggest things. Then the next day when i'd say to him 'do you remember the things you said to me last night i really hate it when you're like that etc etc etc' and he'd say he couldn't remember but then comment about how great the sex was. Apparently 'make up sex' (which for the gentle minds - no it does not involve lipstick and make up as such lol) is supposed to be fantastic etc etc but i never classed it as make up sex coz we hadn't made up and he'd be still sticking to his guns etc i'd be crying he'd be yelling and going off on one and it'd be as serious as it could get to the point where i'd tell him to get out of my house and never come back and the next thing he'd throw himself on me and get all busy with you know what and we'd have sex...i let it happen...dunno why i shudda just told him to f**k off but i guess i just wanted things to be back to normal and go away....then after sex the arguing would continue straight away and i'd got to sleep hating him and wishing he wasn't there etc and it just confused me so much - what is the deal with that?
Buttaflyy Posted June 27, 2006 Posted June 27, 2006 You're right. What you described wasn't make up sex (which can be great). It was abusive actually. IME makeup sex didn't happen right mist of arguement. I wouldn't want him touching me if I was angry and especially if he said hurtful things to me.
Sassy Posted June 27, 2006 Posted June 27, 2006 You're right. What you described wasn't make up sex (which can be great). It was abusive actually. IME makeup sex didn't happen right mist of arguement. I wouldn't want him touching me if I was angry and especially if he said hurtful things to me. Totally agree with Buttafly. This is abusive and you shouldn't allow this to happen when he is treating you so badly in the mist of it all!
Author NightsInWhiteSatin Posted June 27, 2006 Author Posted June 27, 2006 Totally agree with Buttafly. This is abusive and you shouldn't allow this to happen when he is treating you so badly in the mist of it all! It's ok guys he's an ex...who's staying an ex...trust me! I never really classed it as abusive coz he never actually hit me or hurt me just sometimes would grab me and squeeze tightly and refuse to let go which didn't seem anything major because i'd had the s***e knocked out of me before then by a male 'friend'. And also i just went with it i never said 'no' or 'stop' i was an emotional walk over mess at the time though. ahh well tizn't gonna happen again with him ever again thats for sure!
Buttaflyy Posted June 27, 2006 Posted June 27, 2006 It's ok guys he's an ex...who's staying an ex...trust me! I never really classed it as abusive coz he never actually hit me or hurt me just sometimes would grab me and squeeze tightly and refuse to let go which didn't seem anything major because i'd had the s***e knocked out of me before then by a male 'friend'. And also i just went with it i never said 'no' or 'stop' i was an emotional walk over mess at the time though. ahh well tizn't gonna happen again with him ever again thats for sure! Glad to hear that's over. But it still was abusive because it wasn't warranted. And there is a such thing as emotional abuse. Don't accept anything like this from anyone.
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