Laura_t Posted June 27, 2006 Posted June 27, 2006 My boyfriend and i have been together for over 2 years now. All of a sudden there has been girls talking to him and asking 2 go on cam for him when there has never been any problems with this before. It makes me worried and paranoid to think that they're trying to split us up but my boyfriend just says i'm beins tupid. He says he understands why i'm like that but i don't think he does. He says i used to do it, even tho i did i never used to watch them in the way that i think these girls want my boyfriend to watch them. What should i do and what should i say to him?
Tim'sAngel Posted June 27, 2006 Posted June 27, 2006 Could you be a little more specific? You mean go on cam as in a webcam? Does he know these girls or are they random?
Author Laura_t Posted June 27, 2006 Author Posted June 27, 2006 Yeah as in go on web cam... n they're jsut random people that he doesn't know that have jsut added him to msn
Tim'sAngel Posted June 27, 2006 Posted June 27, 2006 First of all, how old are the two of you? Why does he spend enough time to chat with other people online when he has you to spend time with? Are they stripping for him, showing him body parts?
Author Laura_t Posted June 27, 2006 Author Posted June 27, 2006 he's 18 and i'm 17. I see him nearly every day apart from this week because he's been on night shift at work so he's been too tired to come over so i'v been talkin to him on msn. I don't no what these girls do but he says nothings going on i dunno weather he's jsut saying that to cause no arguments or weather he duzn't want me to know
Tim'sAngel Posted June 27, 2006 Posted June 27, 2006 he's 18 and i'm 17. I see him nearly every day apart from this week because he's been on night shift at work so he's been too tired to come over so i'v been talkin to him on msn. I don't no what these girls do but he says nothings going on i dunno weather he's jsut saying that to cause no arguments or weather he duzn't want me to know Hunny, you both are very young. If you don't trust him then something is wrong with the relationship. Either he isn't to be trusted, or you have some insecurities. Either way, why not tell him that you don't feel comfortable with him watching other women and see what he says.
Author Laura_t Posted June 27, 2006 Author Posted June 27, 2006 I'v told him i'm not comfortable with it but he says nothing has happened and he then turns it around and go's on about when i used to watch other guys on web cam.... When i watched it was purely for them to cheer me up because they acted so childish... for some reason he jsut doesn't understand that... I'm going to give him a call in 5 minutes so i'll post back and let u no what he has to say. thanx for the advise xxx
Tim'sAngel Posted June 27, 2006 Posted June 27, 2006 I'v told him i'm not comfortable with it but he says nothing has happened and he then turns it around and go's on about when i used to watch other guys on web cam.... When i watched it was purely for them to cheer me up because they acted so childish... for some reason he jsut doesn't understand that... I'm going to give him a call in 5 minutes so i'll post back and let u no what he has to say. thanx for the advise xxx Well he has a point, if you did it then how are you telling him not to? Maybe you should both sit down and have a talk about setting boundaries for your relationship. That is something that should be done with every relationship. That way, you both know where the line is. And I didn't say rules, I said "boundaries".
Author Laura_t Posted June 27, 2006 Author Posted June 27, 2006 i'm not telling him not to... it's jsut i get really scared n jelous... i'm scared that these girls will b prettier than me n ask him thnigs to do with their bodies and things... He's told me he'l talk about it with me 2 morrow coz he's at work right now but i no for a fact it will end up in an argument... i'm really scared... i wanna spend the rest of my life with him and i don't want things to go rong jsut because of a few girls on msn going on web cam.. its hard to forget too.
princessesmom Posted June 27, 2006 Posted June 27, 2006 1st of all the more you tell him you don't like the more he will want to do it. Even if you think you're not nagging he is taking it that way. Trust me:) 2nd if he is going to cheat on you he is going to do it no matter what. I know this may sound rude, it is not to be rude but let him cheat now and go through the pain and move on. You are so young there are other fish in the sea. Good luck I hope it all ends well.
Walk Posted June 28, 2006 Posted June 28, 2006 Laura. From what I understand of your post, you're upset that your bf is talking to other women. You've admitted it was okay for you to do the same thing in the past, yet now you don't want him to do it because it makes you jealous. Did it ever occur to you that what you were doing in the past caused him to feel exactly as you do now? He's telling you he's not doing anything wrong, yet you still feel this way. You told him you weren't doing anything wrong, yet he still felt hurt by it. Also, based on your avatar.... Maybe you take this farther than he does. To me, if you're in a relationship, you don't go showing off your cooch to the world. You reserve that for your SO, the man you love, the only person you want to share that with. If your avatar is any indication of how far you were willing to expose to strangers, then I think your bf did have a right to be upset by it. And because you see nothing wrong with your actions, then you can not say anything about his. You can't say it's okay for you to do, then get upset he does the same thing. I understand it bothers you that he does this, but I think it would help you if you could try to relate how you're feeling about this, to how you made him feel in the past with the same type of behavior. He's already told you he's not doing anything wrong, and you told him the same thing when you were doing it.... He's doing what you did to him, and you still won't acknowledge that you may have overstepped the lines when you were doing it. He'll fight you 100% of the way if you try to make this about how you feel. In the back of his mind he'll be thinking about when you did this to him and all the arguments you gave for why it was innocent and okay for you to do. So unless you accept and admit that what you did was wrong, you'll never be able to have a real discussion about how his actions hurt you. You will end up in a fight every single time you bring up how it affects you. Apologize for your own actions before trying to jump him for doing the same thing. Or drop the issue. Because you'll never get anywhere if you have stricter rules on his behavior, then you do for yourself.
Tim'sAngel Posted June 28, 2006 Posted June 28, 2006 Well after seeing your avatar, I have absolutey have no idea why you are upset. So its ok for you to show your naked body off to others online but it isn't ok for you bf to look at other girls while talking to them? I think you should get your priorities straight before you start pointing fingers. And please, put some clothes on and be decent!!
Pink Amulet Posted July 1, 2006 Posted July 1, 2006 I agree. That was rather hypocritical of you Laura. He likes looking at other girls online and you like men looking at your vagina online! Your relationship doesn't seem healthy. You guys need to figure out some boundaries. Have you sorted this out with him yet?
binevrywear Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 Hey Laura_t, just because they took away your avatar doesn't mean there are some here who miss it..... terribly. Sob. Sniff.
Tim'sAngel Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 Hey Laura_t, just because they took away your avatar doesn't mean there are some here who miss it..... terribly. Sob. Sniff. Oh for crying friggin out loud dude.... go watch some porns!! It isn't like there is a shortage of naked women out there who are actually of age!
binevrywear Posted July 4, 2006 Posted July 4, 2006 Actually T/A, I do watch porns. With laura_t, it was different. For that fleeting moment, it was just so nice to be able to put a face to a name, and then some - know what I mean? I knew it was just a matter of time before it got zapped. Who the frick cares if she was only 17, anyway? She did it of her own accord, nobody forced her to put that picture there, and if a slobbering old coot like myself (and a few others who said they liked it on a petition I started which, BTW, was zapped by the mods) then why get so worked up?
Pink Amulet Posted July 4, 2006 Posted July 4, 2006 Oh don't give me that! Face to a name!?!?! It was a vagina to a name and it wasn't appropriate.
Tim'sAngel Posted July 4, 2006 Posted July 4, 2006 Oh don't give me that! Face to a name!?!?! It was a vagina to a name and it wasn't appropriate. What a lovely idea. Pink, I really think you and I should post pictures of our vagina's to help everyone get to know us better. I mean come on, it's just a vagina. It would give everyone an intimate look at who we are!! I mean, come on! It isn't like it's degrading or anything! Then again, I think we're too old for doing so since we are both of age.
johan Posted July 4, 2006 Posted July 4, 2006 ...I really think you and I should post pictures of our vagina's to help everyone get to know us better... No argument here.
Pink Amulet Posted July 5, 2006 Posted July 5, 2006 Johan- Not going to happen TA- we have past our vagina exposing sell-by-dates!! hahaha!
Author Laura_t Posted July 6, 2006 Author Posted July 6, 2006 Oh for crying friggin out loud dude.... go watch some porns!! It isn't like there is a shortage of naked women out there who are actually of age! I am of age though... the legal age for sex in the UK is 16 n thats where i'm from so there u go .
Author Laura_t Posted July 6, 2006 Author Posted July 6, 2006 I agree. That was rather hypocritical of you Laura. He likes looking at other girls online and you like men looking at your vagina online! Your relationship doesn't seem healthy. You guys need to figure out some boundaries. Have you sorted this out with him yet? Yes we've sorted things... i rpoved him that i had a right to be worreid when girls started showing him things on cam even when he says he knew for a fine fact that they wouldn't... he appologised and by the way... i never used to look at men in the way that he was doing... i just used to watch them being stupid when i needed cheering up so before you start saying i'm being hypocritical get your facts straight.
Tim'sAngel Posted July 6, 2006 Posted July 6, 2006 Your not getting it. Will you please just tell me the difference between him watching girls naked online and you showing yourself naked online?
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