Guest Posted June 27, 2006 Posted June 27, 2006 I read a lot about affairs and pain. What about a kiss? I know an affair is worse, but if your partner emotionally cheated or if they kissed someone else, it feels like you should be over it quickly and that everyone else expects it. The pain is there though, I can feel it. I am very sad and confused. He was drunk and kissed someone else, how long should it take for me to get past this pain in my heart? How long will it take to trust him again?
Guest Posted June 27, 2006 Posted June 27, 2006 I know an affair is worse, but if your partner emotionally cheated OK, my hubby had a physical affair that lasted 6 to 8 months, she was a regular at the bar and and easy pick up, it was just drunk sex whe available and they were only together 3 times. He also had an emotional affair with a woman he works with, no sex, just making out and some petting on two occasions. They would both go to work and hour early every morning so they could spend quiet time together. Now this took alot because they started work at 6 and hubby had a half hour drive to get there. SO WHICH ONE HURTS AND BOTHERS ME MORE???? Sure isn't the sexual affair, that was just an easy opportunity that he took, the emotional affair was planned, plotted and hatched by them so they could spend time with each other, quality time, not sexual time, just time for them. THAT HURTS 100 TIMES MORE THAN THE SEXUAL AFFAIR!!!! That is just me, but when you say and affiar is worse, I SAY NOT ALWAY SO! it feels like you should be over it quickly and that everyone else expects it. Everyone meaning him? They are your feelings, you deal with them in your own way and your own time and don't let ANYONE tell you how to feel or when to feel it or how long to feel it. Feel it girl and while you are, consider if this is what you deserve, or do you deserve better. TThe pain is there though, I can feel it. I am very sad and confused. I bet you are and you have every right to be. Just allow yourself to feel what you feel, but just be sure to handle it in the right and mature way. Don't obsess over it, but rather work at moving through it. This takes time, so be patient with yourself. He was drunk and kissed someone else Being drunk is NO excuse period, end of statement. How long will it take to trust him again? 100% NEVER, you never ever in a million years will trust him 100%. Shoot for 95% because you will be very lucky if you get that.
JackJack Posted June 27, 2006 Posted June 27, 2006 I read a lot about affairs and pain. What about a kiss? I know an affair is worse, but if your partner emotionally cheated or if they kissed someone else, it feels like you should be over it quickly and that everyone else expects it. The pain is there though, I can feel it. I am very sad and confused. He was drunk and kissed someone else, how long should it take for me to get past this pain in my heart? How long will it take to trust him again? I would say it takes time and counseling for you both. Drunk or not he needs to get to the root of why he kissed her to begin with. Theres deeper issues going on there that needs to be delt with. Trust can be rebuilt but it takes time.
Guest Posted June 28, 2006 Posted June 28, 2006 I just found out that my husband has been having an internet affair for the past 3 weeks. How long will it take for the pain to go away. I feel like someone has pulled out my heart. I understand some of the reasons that lead to the affair but I jump everytime he sits at the computer or answers his cell phone. He has told me that the person really didn't mean anything to him; it was the attention that he was getting from her. I just feel so so hurt.
NightsInWhiteSatin Posted June 28, 2006 Posted June 28, 2006 I read a lot about affairs and pain. What about a kiss? I know an affair is worse, but if your partner emotionally cheated or if they kissed someone else, it feels like you should be over it quickly and that everyone else expects it. The pain is there though, I can feel it. I am very sad and confused. He was drunk and kissed someone else, how long should it take for me to get past this pain in my heart? How long will it take to trust him again? The pain takes a LONG time to go away and no you'll never forget it...and are you sure all they did was kiss?? My ex cheated with my best mate...he said they just kissed i forgave and stayed with him...8 months later we both bumped into my 'best mate' on the way home from a night out...he was drunk...we argued...and he confessed everything they'd done when he cheated on me...and if he'd told me all he'd done in the first place i never would have let him touch me again. Anway we were together for 9 months after he cheated and no i never got over it and tried my hardest to trust him and get past the paranoia but no i never really did and my self esteem went caput...so just becareful what you decide to live with. In the end he dumped me lol how ironic! good luck xx
samsungxoxo Posted June 28, 2006 Posted June 28, 2006 Well if it's just a one time very short drunken kiss, it wouldn't be something I would actually break up over with, but the same mistake again, well that's another story. Still, not really an excuse, you don't get drunk to the point of getting wasted that you cna't jude your actions, that's really pathethic, if you wanna drink, control yourself, know when to stop. If you feel the effects of the booze, then it's time to stop.
silktricks Posted June 28, 2006 Posted June 28, 2006 A one time drunken kiss? Not a deal breaker in my book. But, how long does it take to get over it? That's going to depend on the two of you. What is his attitude? Regretful or nonchalant? How long have you two been together? Were you there? How forgiving are you? Do you expect perfection? Do you expect him to forgive you when you do something stupid? All of those need to be weighed against what he did. Like Guest #2 - I personally would have a MUCH harder time with the long-term EA than a sexual encounter of no meaning. Either scenario, however needs counseling and discussion between the two of you. Best of luck
samsungxoxo Posted June 29, 2006 Posted June 29, 2006 Not me, I would get disgusted right away with an actually full blown sex affair, yuck. I can't imagine my man having shared his body, darn. If I were hypothethically to come in mind staying, then I would be going to parties, then dump him two days later, then kiss another guy just int ime for him to see it, in his face. I don't see how exactly can women (ok so I'm a girl too, but sex would gross me out) can say the sex act can be meaningless while the emotions is worst. HELLO, THINK ABOUT ALL THE DISEASE AND THE DAY THEY RISK LOSING YOU BY SHARING THEIR BODIES ON THE DISGUSTING SHEETS. Kiss, making-out, maybe forgivable, but sex isn't a simple mistake, it's brutality.
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