OzGirl Posted June 27, 2006 Posted June 27, 2006 Hi, Listen, Just a quick question. I've met a new guy, and he's single and we're completely attracted to each other mind/body/soul, etc. Long story short, he's fantastic. I know this isn't specifically an OW/OM question, but you girls (and guys) I relate to and trust. Before I see him (ie, I'm going to have lunch with him today), I feel sick. The excitement I feel like I should have is replaced by and overwhelming fear, yet, when I see him, all is fine. I'm 99% sure it's fear of re-living something I've lived through already once, and that was one time more than I could really handle. He's not married, or anything. I know a lot about him and it's not a fear of him, but a fear in myself that this is too good to be true... not that I think it is... it's just that my 'heart' doesn't really know what 'good' is (based on my history) and I'm just nervous about actually letting someone like me and be good to me and for me. Does that make sense to anyone? Let me know your thoughts... basically, I'm wondering if anyone knows this feeling and if it passed, what made it dissappear. Sounds like a cool line out of a movie "I like you so much, it literally makes me sick"... !! It's so not cool though....
Ladyjane14 Posted June 27, 2006 Posted June 27, 2006 You're worrying too much. Go to lunch. Have a good time. It's not like the waiter's going to start in with the Nupital Mass right there over the table. You've got a good head on your shoulders.... and you've learned ALOT. Give yourself a little credit, girl.
silktricks Posted June 27, 2006 Posted June 27, 2006 Hi, Listen, Just a quick question. I've met a new guy, and he's single and we're completely attracted to each other mind/body/soul, etc. Long story short, he's fantastic. Let me know your thoughts... basically, I'm wondering if anyone knows this feeling and if it passed, what made it dissappear. Sounds like a cool line out of a movie "I like you so much, it literally makes me sick"... !! It's so not cool though.... The first time I dated my 2nd husband I was sick to my stomach - badly!!. He was (and is (again)) fantastic, too. Have fun - forget the past - enjoy the future.
MarnieGirl Posted June 27, 2006 Posted June 27, 2006 the very last time i saw my ex, i was so sick and hurt so bad, i needed him to take me home. i felt sick on my way there, and i felt sick the whole whopping 15 minutes we exhanged our christmas presesnts. we had already broken up, but we decided it was okay to give our presents to each other since we had them. bad idea. he bought me a black negligee (that had no tags...) and banana flavoured lube. i think he was all coked out as well, another gem habit of his. i am sure he thought i would put on the negligee, lube us both up and we would get back together. not. i had to go home. i did, even though he wasn't too happy. and what do you know? almost immdediately after he was gone, i was fine. never saw him after that. what's the point, you ask? sometimes your body is trying to tell you something. don't ignore it.
movinon05 Posted June 27, 2006 Posted June 27, 2006 Hi, and I'm just nervous about actually letting someone like me and be good to me and for me. Does that make sense to anyone? Let me know your thoughts... basically, I'm wondering if anyone knows this feeling and if it passed, what made it dissappear. Sounds like a cool line out of a movie "I like you so much, it literally makes me sick"... !! It's so not cool though.... Aw Oz. This is what I had to work through. But once out of the A, I knew I was worth something. So I never felt this way when meeting guys. I wasn't nervous about this. I welcomed it. Welcome someone who cares about you and treats you well. Let it all fall into place and get rid of your fears. This is what I wanted and what I got - after the affair. Even if the relationship didn't last because we ended up not being compatible, it was okay in my mind. Because I finally let my heart open up to possibilities and that was more important to me for my growth. Methinks you are quite smitten!! lol!! Enjoy the ride Oz!!! You've earned it!!
Author OzGirl Posted June 27, 2006 Author Posted June 27, 2006 K, just got back from lunch. Met at the park, had a chat, went to get food, said I wasn't that hungry... then briefly explained why - ie, nerves about new possibilities. He clutched my hand, squeezed gently, looked me straight in the eyes, and said 'everything's going to be okay'. He said he feels the same way - anxious about something new, being hurt again, etc... but said it was meeting me who made him think it's worth the chance. Sickness instantly gone, sushi soon after consumed...! Man... who'd have thought this could be so hard for me... So, thanks... your posts were brilliant. I've just gotta relax a little I think. I got myself a good one this time. Absolutely f*cking fantastic one.
Typical Girl Posted June 27, 2006 Posted June 27, 2006 I know this comes late, and perhaps I am very wrong, but reading other people's comments and what you described reminded me of what mother nature does to us. Ever eat something that you really love and then get super sick? You seem to lose complete liking for that food, even though before it was your favorite. Sometimes our mind makes us sick over something, because we've had a bad experience. Even if we had several good experiences, one bad one seems to just set our minds and body to a negative reaction. Losing love hurts, and is one of the worst things we experience. Indeed most people rather face the unknown of death then the heartache of someone out of their life. Perhaps you being sick is your body trying to protect itself, hopefully through trust you can get your mind to relax and see it's not going to hurt with this one. I hope you find peace with yourself.
Jessie61 Posted June 27, 2006 Posted June 27, 2006 K, just got back from lunch. Met at the park, had a chat, went to get food, said I wasn't that hungry... then briefly explained why - ie, nerves about new possibilities. He clutched my hand, squeezed gently, looked me straight in the eyes, and said 'everything's going to be okay'. He said he feels the same way - anxious about something new, being hurt again, etc... but said it was meeting me who made him think it's worth the chance. Sickness instantly gone, sushi soon after consumed...! Man... who'd have thought this could be so hard for me... So, thanks... your posts were brilliant. I've just gotta relax a little I think. I got myself a good one this time. Absolutely f*cking fantastic one. Ozgirl, Great to have you back! And I am delighted to hear your news! Relax and enjoy this thing which could turn into something absolutely fantastic! Of course you are going to be nervous, but as you have discovered, so is he!!!! It is quite normal.... He sounds like a great guy! He might even deserve to have someone as fantastic as yourself???? Let us know what happens! I love a happy story!!!
zarathustra Posted June 27, 2006 Posted June 27, 2006 Ozzy, I cannot imagine a better success story than what you posted. Thanks for giving us hope of a better future. Oh yeah, I forgot to email ya. My life's a big old mess, but I'm doing fine. I'll update my thread tomorrow or the day after when I'll likely feel the effects of re-established NC with the xMM.
BUTAFLY Posted June 27, 2006 Posted June 27, 2006 What a sigh of relief-there's still hope out past all this. I happy for you Oz.
Blind Illusion Posted June 27, 2006 Posted June 27, 2006 Great to hear this , OzGirl. I'm so not at this point yet but would imagine I'd feel very similar.
movinon05 Posted June 27, 2006 Posted June 27, 2006 Yay! I'm excited for you!! At least you've got those butterfly feelings! :bunny: That's what I want!! I haven't had any butterflies with any guys I dated. I would have hope that a R might work with them. With my last BF (8 mo), there were no butterflies, but a nice companionship, until I realized the butterflies were never going to come. The butterflies are what I do miss.
UnknowingOW Posted June 27, 2006 Posted June 27, 2006 How wonderful! Congrats! You deserve it. Yes, arnen't the butterflies the best part of something new? Hugs!!!!!
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