shiro kuma Posted June 26, 2006 Posted June 26, 2006 I went out with this girl a couple of weeks ago, and she is quite the conversationalist, strong in her beliefs, and, very enjoyable to talk to. I guess I held my own quite well because we did *NOT* have shallow conversation (we both thought it was boring) we had some pretty deep discussions. She taking psychology in university (I'm a fine arts student), so we talked about some interesting things . The evening started around 7:30pm and we kept on talking till almost 4:00am this morning. The conversation lasted for quite some time (5 1/2 hrs. ) is that too long or there really is no bad length for a conversation (if it kept flowing, I guess I was doing my job ). Observation and listening (the tone of her voice sounded sincere yet curious, and she was constantly smiling throughout the evening) I of course did the same with smiling and spoke with intent (reciprocated it back) I think this first meeting was to test the waters (I can see she is interested, I have to maintain that) but also, the next time we do meet, I'll step it up on kino (I got the impression that this girl likes to take things slow, which can be nice).
Author shiro kuma Posted June 26, 2006 Author Posted June 26, 2006 She is a Catholic (sticks to her beliefs, and I respect that) should this make me a little bit weary if I attempt to go in for a kiss the next time we meet? After this first meeting, she has told me some of what she is interested in, passionate about, what she dislikes, what she would like to do in the future. What to keep in mind for next time is keep the conversation light hearted, apply more kino, beforehand brush up on my conversational skills (do some suggested readings). She says that she likes to be in control of herself but not other people, she has never been drunk in her life (at most she will have one or two maybe three drinks). She told me that she is just beginning to learn to have fun (or she did not really have the opportunity to do very many fun things...so I guess I need to show this girl a good time) Another thing I am finding is that she wants to see if you really have an opinion (she ask Why? when I say certain things as a response to her deep questions). I like this girl, just want to be put on the right path so that I'm doing the right things. I have been reading the book 'How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Business and Personal Relationships' by Leil Lowndes, there are a couple of things I can definitely change to having a way more interesting conversation BTW: She is older than me (possibly 3-4 years older, I'm currently 20) and she is majoring in psychology (no wonder...with the all deep conversation). Any other tips or advice I should be aware of with this type of girl? Should I move the topics of conversation more towards the direction on emotion and romance?) if so, should it just naturally progress to that point or do I have to sway it that way? I shouldn't solely rely on that alone though, the other important factor I need to do is kino, right? I should do it more subtle with a girl like this or should I just try to initiate if would hold my hand if I extend it or if I go in to hold her waist..or I can just fool around a little bit and see if she is ticklish. Should I hold off on trying to go in for a kiss or...no? Other suggestions?
blind_otter Posted June 26, 2006 Posted June 26, 2006 that sounds awesome. i haven't had a 5 hour conversation that actually made sense in years. I really long for that, too...chicks dig that. try asking her if you can give her a kiss and then kissing her cheek. Two guys in my life did that and I thought it was so sweet and respectful. Better than the tongue in throat version, anyways, for a first kiss.
j.carsey Posted June 26, 2006 Posted June 26, 2006 I say don't ASK to kiss her, but when there is a pause in the conversation and she seems happy with you, just move in and kiss her on the cheek
Outcast Posted June 27, 2006 Posted June 27, 2006 I wouldn't do any kissing unless she shows physical interest in you - sits or stands close to you or doesn't move away if you sit or stand close to her, touches you lightly, looks into your eyes and glances at your lips. You don't want to blow it by crossing a line too soon - if she hasn't had much fun, etc. then she may be shy or reserved and not ready for a new person to be kissing stuff. However if you end up holding her hand, try giving it a quick kiss at some point. Men have melted me by kissing my hand - it seems a very caring thing to do but in a sweet, respectful way.
Author shiro kuma Posted July 1, 2006 Author Posted July 1, 2006 would anyone else have comments on this? could anyone please suggest some *EXCELLENT* books on dating?
JCD Posted July 5, 2006 Posted July 5, 2006 "She told me that she is just beginning to learn to have fun (or she did not really have the opportunity to do very many fun things..." Potentially red flag. Meaning that she could be getting her wild side out which could suck for you as she wouldn't be interested in a serious relationship. I hope I'm wrong though. So be careful and don't try so hard to please her. No need to show off your new convo skills to her, just be yourself and have fun flirting and making jokes. About kissing and holding hands, I would leave that until you know her more intimately by talking first. Too soon and you might scare her off, too late and she might wonder what's wrong with her or you, imo.
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