UnhappyInLuv Posted June 26, 2006 Posted June 26, 2006 I have just found out that about 4 years ago my husband was cheating on me with a swinging couple in hotels. He says he is bi. He doesn't know that I know. Also, he was subscribing to a something in Hong Kong that shows you porn videos. I feel physically sick and numb. What should I do?
Pink Amulet Posted June 26, 2006 Posted June 26, 2006 First of all- tell him you know. Regardless of how you found out (snooping etc.) it is important that you get everything out in the open. Find out his reasons. Find out if he still engages in this activity, if not, why did he stop? If you like his answer, and you think you can handle the long and painful infidelity recovery road then this is your choice. I personally would never walk it again. The sickness lasted for years, every day, every night. The moment we ended it was gone. Sure there is sadness and a feeling of loss, but there is also relief- you no longer have to love, and forgive an unfaithful man. Having said that if there is a lot invested in the relationship, and you think you could recover from this betrayal with the trust he will never do it again- people make it through- relationships do survive...
UnknowingOW Posted June 26, 2006 Posted June 26, 2006 I have just found out that about 4 years ago my husband was cheating on me with a swinging couple in hotels. He says he is bi. He doesn't know that I know. Also, he was subscribing to a something in Hong Kong that shows you porn videos. I feel physically sick and numb. What should I do? UnhappyInLuv, First, is he still actively seeking out partners? Secondly, confront. You may not want to know all the details, but you need to know where you stand. He may be honest with you and he may deceive you won't know until all the dust settles and you have time to think. I've been in your situtation where I discovered my ExH was bi/gay. All I can tell you is you have to make any choice whether to stay or go. And whatever road you choose will take you on the emotional rollercoaster from hell. Good Luck...if you need help LS always has someone to lend an ear. FYI...Becareful, if he is not using protection STD's can be transmitted. I would be tested ASAP. My ExH is now HIV+...I am not. Get tested immediately for your on sake of mind. And if you do have interaction with him, use protection for your own safety.
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