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Something in my past is hauting me ,


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Posted

This might be long but I need to vent this out.

 

I have been In nc from my ex for a year now, But things that happend to me in that relationship are now just coming clear to me and It's haunting me, I wish I actually went to the police at the time

 

Me and him were doing exstacy one day, and he happend to kick me down the stairs and I flipped out, than we got cool....But I had told his sister about it.

 

Well I didn't know his sister actually told him about it, But I suspected something because when he asked about rolling again( doing ex) he just acted all fake towards me and weird, and evil.

 

I reamber him saying " oh you'll get what you desearve you just won't reamber it"

 

Well he gave me a pill each hour ( that I thought was extacy) But instead made me really drousy and he was like being such an evil freak to me, and making me paranoid..Well I woke up with a gigantic forhead and everything looked all weird, But I didn't feel messed up.

 

Now my ex was sociopathic in alot of ways, and I can't get this out of my mind, i wish I could go back to him and do the same thing to him..all this is true and not all in my head.. That was a horrible spring break of my sophmore year I felt like I was in the twight light zone, All i want is this kid to get what he desearved...how could I have been so stupid to stay withhim for another year???

 

This is haunting me...How COULD i have been so naive :-(

Posted

Thats probably why drugs are a bad idea. I hate to sound like an a**h*** but every female that I have known that was into the whole "rolling on E" crap ended up getting beat by their boyfriend or someone at some point. So I sort of take it hand in hand now. Living a crappy lifestyle never entails anything good.

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Posted

Yeah I would never lay my hands on that drug ever again...

Posted

Everyone at some point in time does something they regret. "There is two ways of dealing with it, with self pity or without". You may want something to 'happen' to your ex, but if he doesn't change his ways he will make it 'happen' to himself. I hope you have learned from the past. The best advice I can give you is to not dwell on the past but plan for the future.

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Posted

Thanks! I will try but I just wish I new than what I know now I would have changed so many things, It's just upsetting me that I was so dumb to take those knowing something didn't feel right.

 

But It's over and done with, and I have learned soo much that it shocks me now over the stuff I did

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