John's guide to catching & keeping women

[7on]

I think it's very important for a man to show off his masculinity. For example, when I come home from work, I like to beat my chest like a gorilla - it really turns her on. Seriously, men should try this.

 

Indeed. When I have to go and watch Grey's Anatomy I usually say that I have to go watch Monster Trucks, drink beer, and... ummm... oh impregnate women ;-) Nothing more masculine than that.

[RecordProducer]

John, only the people who have had good relationships for many, many years can write these guides. And I doubt that they would be similar to yours.

 

Closeness, warmth, friendship, honesty, love, affection, and a cozy ambiance is what makes us feel good. My goal in love is not to keep my husband in love with me while making him walk on the edge. If I need strategies to keep him then we're not right for each other. If he stays with me after all the coldness and distance, then he has low self-esteem.

 

I want my partner to want my affection. If he acted like what you suggested, I would have NEVER EVER fallen in love with him. Actually his identical twin brother is a very reserved person and I was thinking if my husband were like him, with the same face and mind and heart, I wouldn't have started a relationship with him. I am a warm person and like to be surrounded by warm people.

 

There are so many things that will keep your self-respect on a high level and make your partner respect you: intelligence, honesty, good manners, sense of humor, generousity, etc. Why make someone miserable?

 

I think Walk posted a very good analysis.

 

Also, I am starting to suspect that this whole thread is a product of your desire to provide yourself with some good humorous evenings.

[john1776]

Still nobody answered my question on whether or not I should take my girlfriend's word for it when she said she is happy to be with me. I don't see how it's desperate to ask questions like that. It shows that I do care about her happiness. If I didn't care then I would have no reason to ask.

[john1776]

If I was in a monogamous relationship with a guy and he came off with these questions, that would drive me nuts. It would feel like pressure. If I had an issue, I would bring it up. Questions like those above smack of insecurity and - yes - desperation.

 

I cannot read another woman's mind. The only way I'm going to know whether she's happy or not is if she comes right out and says it.

[john1776]

John, only the people who have had good relationships for many, many years can write these guides. And I doubt that they would be similar to yours.

 

Closeness, warmth, friendship, honesty, love, affection, and a cozy ambiance is what makes us feel good. My goal in love is not to keep my husband in love with me while making him walk on the edge. If I need strategies to keep him then we're not right for each other. If he stays with me after all the coldness and distance, then he has low self-esteem.

 

I want my partner to want my affection. If he acted like what you suggested, I would have NEVER EVER fallen in love with him. Actually his identical twin brother is a very reserved person and I was thinking if my husband were like him, with the same face and mind and heart, I wouldn't have started a relationship with him. I am a warm person and like to be surrounded by warm people.

 

There are so many things that will keep your self-respect on a high level and make your partner respect you: intelligence, honesty, good manners, sense of humor, generousity, etc. Why make someone miserable?

 

I think Walk posted a very good analysis.

 

Also, I am starting to suspect that this whole thread is a product of your desire to provide yourself with some good humorous evenings.

 

 

Obviously you didn't read my entire guide. You only read what you wanted to read. I already stated that in situations when a woman needs emotional support then it's acceptable and actually a good idea for a guy to call more often. When the circumstances are abnormal then the guy needs to bend the rules. If he doesn't then you can accuse him of being a real ass.

 

I never said that the guy should be an ass and not call his girlfriend when she has a legitimate need for emotional support. For example if she's lost a member of her family or if she got into a car accident and had to go to the hospital, or any other crisis you can think of then it is not only safe but also a good idea for him to call often and see her as often as he can.

 

I'm going to call my girlfriend later this morning to find out how her doctor's appointment went yesterday afternoon. She had to go in for surgery for her hand. The fact that I'm calling and asking her about how her appointment went should send the message to her that I do care about her health.

[Outcast]

The thing, john, is that living by 'rules' is living an inauthentic life.

[amerikajin]

Still nobody answered my question on whether or not I should take my girlfriend's word for it when she said she is happy to be with me. I don't see how it's desperate to ask questions like that. It shows that I do care about her happiness. If I didn't care then I would have no reason to ask.

 

I would follow Johan's advice and address issues rather than the question of whether or not she's happy to be with you. If she is happy - and she is presumably happy enough to at least spend time with you - then she's going to find it strange that you're asking such a question, and she may start to wonder whether or not YOU are happy to be with HER.

 

If, however, she has some concerns, then your question is going to bring out your insecurities, which can really work against you. Nobody wants to be in a relationship with someone who always has to have reassurance that everything is okay. Besides, I've never met a woman who would actually come out and say 'No, I'm not happy with you or in the relationship' unless things were so badly screwed up that she wanted nothing to do with you anymore. Even if she was no longer romantically interested, I doubt it would get to that point unless you screwed her over in some way.

 

Women are complicated. I'll never figure them out completely, and they say the same about us. But the key for you right now is to be strong with or without her. Be supportive but don't be a lapdog.

[johan]

I would follow Johan's advice and address issues rather than the question of whether or not she's happy to be with you...

 

When did I say that? I'll go ahead and take credit, because it sounds like something I might have said. I'm just not sure when I said it.

[RecordProducer]

I already stated that in situations when a woman needs emotional support then it's acceptable and actually a good idea for a guy to call more often.

Well you are very wrong. If I don't have a close connection with someone, he is the last person I want around me when I need support. We need affection on a regular basis from our partners.

 

Just like my children need kisses and hugs every day in order to grow up emotionally healthy and filled with love.

[john1776]

Still nobody answered my question on whether or not I should take my girlfriend's word for it when she said she is happy to be with me. I don't see how it's desperate to ask questions like that. It shows that I do care about her happiness. If I didn't care then I would have no reason to ask.

 

I would follow Johan's advice and address issues rather than the question of whether or not she's happy to be with you. If she is happy - and she is presumably happy enough to at least spend time with you - then she's going to find it strange that you're asking such a question, and she may start to wonder whether or not YOU are happy to be with HER.

 

If, however, she has some concerns, then your question is going to bring out your insecurities, which can really work against you. Nobody wants to be in a relationship with someone who always has to have reassurance that everything is okay. Besides, I've never met a woman who would actually come out and say 'No, I'm not happy with you or in the relationship' unless things were so badly screwed up that she wanted nothing to do with you anymore. Even if she was no longer romantically interested, I doubt it would get to that point unless you screwed her over in some way.

 

Women are complicated. I'll never figure them out completely, and they say the same about us. But the key for you right now is to be strong with or without her. Be supportive but don't be a lapdog.

 

 

I think that it would be inconsiderate if a guy never asked his girlfriend how she felt about the relationship. I didn't say he should ask her everyday or even every week. I believe in doing an evaluation every 5 months or so. I don't plan on asking her again if she's happy until thanksgiving. It can't hurt. I wish my girlfriend would ask me if I'm happy.

[john1776]

Well you are very wrong. If I don't have a close connection with someone, he is the last person I want around me when I need support. We need affection on a regular basis from our partners.

 

Just like my children need kisses and hugs every day in order to grow up emotionally healthy and filled with love.

 

 

I never liked getting hugs and kisses from my mom. There is a such thing as being overly affectionate. I'm just not the type of person to hug and kiss relatives or hug friends.

[littlekitty]

Dude, you have some serious issues. I missed this thread. There I was telling you living by Cali's rules wasn't healthy in your relationship on your other thread, and here you are spouting a whole boat load of crap about how to keep a women!

 

For any guy who wants to keep his women... ignore this pile of junk rules. It won't work. Any women worth her while will see straight through this crap and dump you quickly.

 

You have issues. Both in yourself and your relationship. I think you need to look at these before you give out advice.

[john1776]

Dude, you have some serious issues. I missed this thread. There I was telling you living by Cali's rules wasn't healthy in your relationship on your other thread, and here you are spouting a whole boat load of crap about how to keep a women!

 

For any guy who wants to keep his women... ignore this pile of junk rules. It won't work. Any women worth her while will see straight through this crap and dump you quickly.

 

You have issues. Both in yourself and your relationship. I think you need to look at these before you give out advice.

 

 

It's all about setting up boundaries and enforcing reprecussions when a woman crosses them. I'm not going to waste my time pursuing a girl if she doesn't show interest. That's the whole point of spacing out the calls and if she does not ever initiate a call after the 1st 3 times I call her then it's time to move on.

 

Why don't you specify what you disagree with my guide about instead of making a generalization? I mean what is wrong with a guy keeping his mouth shut during an argument? What is wrong with a guy giving his woman space for a couple days to clear her head? I would think it's honorable for a guy to leave the house for a few days if she's that upset. He should not wait for her to request him to leave.

[john1776]

If a woman is that shallow enough to dump her boyfriend because she's not getting enough sex then chances are she would find another reason to dump him even if he gave in to her every desire to have sex. I thought a relationship was about compromise. Should a guy just have sex with his girlfriend as a favor to her even if he doesn't want to?

[john1776]

In most situations I don't recommend that a guy should be a doormat but when it comes to arguments he should shut up and put on a doormat act and let her bitch as long as she needs to. Retaliation will only make things worse.

[john1776]

I think, based on the above, your gal will wind up dumping you because YOU DON'T WANT SEX WITH HER. Oh, excuse me. Isn't the 4th of July right around the corner? I'll bet she's waiting with eager anticipation, counting the days on her little fingers until you oblige her by performing your ritual chores on the specified day. OMG!

 

No I'll still have sex with her but only as a favor to her. But again if what you are saying is correct then she'll find another reason to dump me if she's that shallow enough to dump me for not getting enough sex. In that case it's not my fault that I get dumped. She's just the wrong person for me. The only thing I will blame myself for is picking the wrong woman to date.

 

I'm starting to wonder why should I even bother wanting a girlfriend anymore if it's ok for people to break up over trivial things. Should I even want something that is very easy to lose and almost impossible to keep around??

[crazy_grl]

I believe in doing an evaluation every 5 months or so. I don't plan on asking her again if she's happy until thanksgiving.

 

So is there a form that you use for this nearly semi-annual evaluation? Do you both have to sign and date it or only her? If you score well on the evaluation do you get to celebrate by having sex? That'd mean you could do it twice that week, once for Thanksgiving once to celebrate a successful review.

[Tim'sAngel]

If a woman is that shallow enough to dump her boyfriend because she's not getting enough sex then chances are she would find another reason to dump him even if he gave in to her every desire to have sex. I thought a relationship was about compromise. Should a guy just have sex with his girlfriend as a favor to her even if he doesn't want to?

 

FYI, women have sexual needs just like we have emotional needs. Why ignore either? Needs are needs, and yes if you are not recieving your needs, then you should leave because that means the two of you are not compatible, and if you are not compatible, then it won't work anyways, so why bother?

 

I cannot read another woman's mind. The only way I'm going to know whether she's happy or not is if she comes right out and says it

 

This quote from you above does not make sense to the ones below.

 

Still nobody answered my question on whether or not I should take my girlfriend's word for it when she said she is happy to be with me. I don't see how it's desperate to ask questions like that. It shows that I do care about her happiness. If I didn't care then I would have no reason to ask.

 

Now do I have everything that she wants? That's a question only she can answer. I have asked her from time to time if she's happy to be with me. She said yes.

 

It sounds like she did come out and say it. Why doubt it?

 

It's all about setting up boundaries and enforcing reprecussions when a woman crosses them. I'm not going to waste my time pursuing a girl if she doesn't show interest. That's the whole point of spacing out the calls and if she does not ever initiate a call after the 1st 3 times I call her then it's time to move on.

 

There are so many other clues on whether or not a women is interested than just phonecalls. ITs how she treats you and the relationship in general. Why speficy the calling so much? I live with my SO, but even before that we made sure to make contact daily. I didn't see him as needy or desterate. I was the love of his life why wouldn't we want to speak to each other daily? He didn't call 10 times a day or talk for hours and hours, just enough to let me know he was thinking of me and wanted to hear my voice before he went to bed. I think your way off on the phone calling issue.

 

 

I mean what is wrong with a guy keeping his mouth shut during an argument? What is wrong with a guy giving his woman space for a couple days to clear her head? I would think it's honorable for a guy to leave the house for a few days if she's that upset. He should not wait for her to request him to leave.

 

There is so much you are missing my friend. If my SO just up and left, I wouldn't say "Aww hes so sweet, hes giving me space" I would think "OMG, he such a wimp he has to leave because he can't handle the pressure and obviously doesn't care enough to come talk to me and apologize for his part of the arguement and try to make things better in our relationship" It is highly rude to just up and leave. It shows the lack of interest in bettering the relationship.

 

No I'll still have sex with her but only as a favor to her

 

That is the creepiest thing I've heard. I've never heard a male with a healthy sex drive calling sex with his girlfriend a "Favor". If my man was only having sex with me as a favor, I would feel so creepy and unwanted. My man wants to have sex with me because he wants me, he loves me and making love is just one of hundreds of ways to show me. There is a difference between love and just sex.

[john1776]

FYI, women have sexual needs just like we have emotional needs. Why ignore either? Needs are needs, and yes if you are not recieving your needs, then you should leave because that means the two of you are not compatible, and if you are not compatible, then it won't work anyways, so why bother?

 

 

 

This quote from you above does not make sense to the ones below.

 

 

 

 

 

It sounds like she did come out and say it. Why doubt it?

 

 

 

There are so many other clues on whether or not a women is interested than just phonecalls. ITs how she treats you and the relationship in general. Why speficy the calling so much? I live with my SO, but even before that we made sure to make contact daily. I didn't see him as needy or desterate. I was the love of his life why wouldn't we want to speak to each other daily? He didn't call 10 times a day or talk for hours and hours, just enough to let me know he was thinking of me and wanted to hear my voice before he went to bed. I think your way off on the phone calling issue.

 

 

 

 

There is so much you are missing my friend. If my SO just up and left, I wouldn't say "Aww hes so sweet, hes giving me space" I would think "OMG, he such a wimp he has to leave because he can't handle the pressure and obviously doesn't care enough to come talk to me and apologize for his part of the arguement and try to make things better in our relationship" It is highly rude to just up and leave. It shows the lack of interest in bettering the relationship.

 

 

 

That is the creepiest thing I've heard. I've never heard a male with a healthy sex drive calling sex with his girlfriend a "Favor". If my man was only having sex with me as a favor, I would feel so creepy and unwanted. My man wants to have sex with me because he wants me, he loves me and making love is just one of hundreds of ways to show me. There is a difference between love and just sex.

 

 

Well one thing I've learned is to never take advice from women on how to fix my relationship with a woman. I trust alphamale's and woggle's judgements on these things. Women are usually not looking out for my best interest when they give advice. They will naturally take my girlfriend's side and defend her.

 

Besides where do you draw the line on how often a couple is supposed to have sex? Does it have to be everyday? What is the bare minimum requirement? I don't feel comfortable sleeping with my girlfriend when I have doubts about her commitment to me. That's basically what it all comes down to. If I can have 100% certainity that she's committed then I would have no problem sleeping with her more often. I don't want to get used to the sex and then all of a sudden get dumped for some other shallow reason. Break ups hurt 10 times worse for me when there was habitual sexual activity involved in the relationship. That's why as I stated in the guide that everytime I have sex I'm giving part of my soul away to her. It is to a man's benefit to be careful with his soul.

[Guest]

It's not going to be the infrequency of the sex that'll drive her away, it'll be your attitude that makes it feel like you're performing an unpleasant chore for her. You should WANT your woman, not feel obligated to having sex with her just to make her happy. She's gonna feel that from you. I know I would. Any man of mine is going to want me because he can't keep his hands off me. That's how it goes in my little world. Maybe your woman is so bad in the sack that it does feel like a chore for you. Sorry about that!

 

As for the person who gains 80 lbs after they've hooked their partner, where's the love in that? Turn into a big, fat porker whether your partner likes it or not? Now that you've got the ring on, you can let your looks go to hell 'cause you don't care if your partner finds you attractive. Such a loving, caring attitude! And I seriously doubt anyone on here would advocate dumping your partner because he/she is grieving over the loss of someone important in their life - unless it was the OW/OM who died in some sick little love triangle that was going on.

 

 

In the first place a man should be working out in the gym and eating right and taking care of his body for his own health. That should be his primary motivation. I take care of my body not because I worry about how attractive I'm going to look but because I want to be in good health.

 

If a girl is going to dump me because she doesn't like the way I cut my hair or because I gained too much weight then that's not my problem. My problem is to take care of myself so I can have the freedom to drive and walk and ski and basically do the things I want to do regardless if women come along or not. Because in the final analysis it does not matter how many women find me attractive, if I'm not healthy then I have limits on what I can do.

 

Poor health means limited freedom to do the things I want. Having good health is more important than how many women I can attract physically. So if that guy gains 80 lbs or 180 lbs for that matter then losing his girlfriend will be the least of his worries. Losing his girlfriend will be a real picnic compared to what's coming next as far as his own health is concerned.

 

Let's face it. I doubt any of us will be as attractive in 50 years as we are now. Our bodies are sagging and bagging and wrinkling. The true test of real love is being willing to grow old with someone in spite of how they look in their old age.

[john1776]

It's not going to be the infrequency of the sex that'll drive her away, it'll be your attitude that makes it feel like you're performing an unpleasant chore for her. You should WANT your woman, not feel obligated to having sex with her just to make her happy. She's gonna feel that from you. I know I would. Any man of mine is going to want me because he can't keep his hands off me. That's how it goes in my little world. Maybe your woman is so bad in the sack that it does feel like a chore for you. Sorry about that!

 

As for the person who gains 80 lbs after they've hooked their partner, where's the love in that? Turn into a big, fat porker whether your partner likes it or not? Now that you've got the ring on, you can let your looks go to hell 'cause you don't care if your partner finds you attractive. Such a loving, caring attitude! And I seriously doubt anyone on here would advocate dumping your partner because he/she is grieving over the loss of someone important in their life - unless it was the OW/OM who died in some sick little love triangle that was going on.

 

 

In the first place if a guy gains 80 lbs after being in the relationship for awhile then he better worry more about his health than about losing his girlfriend. Losing his girlfriend will be the least of his problems. That will be a real picnic compared to what's coming next as far as the deteroiation of his health is concerned. I try to stay in shape and eat properly and exercise not because I'm trying to score brownie points with my girlfriend but because I'm concerned about staying in good health first and foremost.

 

If he's exercising only because he's trying to impress his girlfriend then his exercise program won't last because his motivation is not right. It's been my experience that if I don't have the proper motivation to change something in my life then the changes do not stick. Exercising and keeping my weight down is something I must do for my own health regardless if women find me attractive or not.

 

Let's face it. None of us are going to look as attractive in 50 years as we do now. Our bodies are sagging and bagging and wrinkling. The right woman is willing to grow old with me regardless of what I look like. It's what's inside my heart that counts.

 

I don't want a superficial relationship. I don't want women who are a "great catch". Alot of men do but I don't. The challenge is not worth it. I try to be a good catch but I'm not going to look for a woman who is a good catch. A guy should worry about being a good catch instead of finding a good catch.

 

I am 6 feet 2 inches tall and weigh 230lbs and I'm clean cut and I have a stable job working as an independent contractor. If you don't find that attractive then fine. You are not the one who has to put up with me or date me. I basically live a quiet life offline and mind my own business. I don't want to disturb or bother anybody. I make sure that I don't go where I'm unwelcome or unwanted.

 

Maybe now you can understand where I'm coming from on this issue of initiating phone calls and initiating moves and stuff. This is not to say that I believe that a guy should never initiate moves. It's just that there has to be a limit to it. I ask my girlfriend every 5-6 months if she's happy because I need to know without a doubt that I'm wanted. If my presence is not wanted then I need to know.

 

For your information the sex in my relationship is mediocre. I can only speak on my behalf when I say that I'm satisifed with the sex. I am content with mediocrity.

[Tim'sAngel]

Well one thing I've learned is to never take advice from women on how to fix my relationship with a woman. I trust alphamale's and woggle's judgements on these things. Women are usually not looking out for my best interest when they give advice. They will naturally take my girlfriend's side and defend her.

 

Besides where do you draw the line on how often a couple is supposed to have sex? Does it have to be everyday? What is the bare minimum requirement? I don't feel comfortable sleeping with my girlfriend when I have doubts about her commitment to me. That's basically what it all comes down to. If I can have 100% certainity that she's committed then I would have no problem sleeping with her more often. I don't want to get used to the sex and then all of a sudden get dumped for some other shallow reason. Break ups hurt 10 times worse for me when there was habitual sexual activity involved in the relationship. That's why as I stated in the guide that everytime I have sex I'm giving part of my soul away to her. It is to a man's benefit to be careful with his soul.

 

Woggle has admitted to being insecure about women due to the abusive past with his mother and also due to his violent exW and Alphamale is full of jokes. I would NEVER go to someone who is biased for advice!!!

 

You didn't comment on all of my comments and questions, but thats ok. After reading your posts I see alot of confusion and insecurities you have with women. You are constantly second guessing your gf. You ask if she is happy even though you have repeatedly posted that she claims she is. I understand you don't want to get your sexual emotions involved if you are not sure the relationship is stable, but if you have so many doubts about it then why stay? If I was that miserable in my relationship from all the doubting I would simply not stay. Why keep asking if she is happy? Does her actions say otherwise? Have you considered that maybe she doesn't feel wanted since you feel having sex with her is a "favor" and maybe thats why she is giving you doubts about her happiness? It isn't very wise for you to try and write a "guide" for others if you are so confused and unsure about your own relationship. In fact, it isn't wise to do so unless you have done extensive research on the topic. I think your "guide" is a cry for help IMO. You really want to know about women and about what will keep them in a relationship. If you need any questions answered by an unbiased female, feel free to ask me. I will wholeheartedly and openly answer any questions you have. I have no need to stick up for your gf, for all I know she could be a bitch. It really isn't fair for men or women to try to guide others on the "How to's" of catching women or men when you obviously are having troubles in your own. LS is not about trying to persuade others to think the way you do, it is about asking questions and discussing ones ideas. We (women) are not animals and don't require training sessions on how to take care of us. But, we can talk about our feelings, fears, insecurities, needs, desires and such.

[john1776]

Woggle has admitted to being insecure about women due to the abusive past with his mother and also due to his violent exW and Alphamale is full of jokes. I would NEVER go to someone who is biased for advice!!!

 

You didn't comment on all of my comments and questions, but thats ok. After reading your posts I see alot of confusion and insecurities you have with women. You are constantly second guessing your gf. You ask if she is happy even though you have repeatedly posted that she claims she is. I understand you don't want to get your sexual emotions involved if you are not sure the relationship is stable, but if you have so many doubts about it then why stay? If I was that miserable in my relationship from all the doubting I would simply not stay. Why keep asking if she is happy? Does her actions say otherwise? Have you considered that maybe she doesn't feel wanted since you feel having sex with her is a "favor" and maybe thats why she is giving you doubts about her happiness? It isn't very wise for you to try and write a "guide" for others if you are so confused and unsure about your own relationship. In fact, it isn't wise to do so unless you have done extensive research on the topic. I think your "guide" is a cry for help IMO. You really want to know about women and about what will keep them in a relationship. If you need any questions answered by an unbiased female, feel free to ask me. I will wholeheartedly and openly answer any questions you have. I have no need to stick up for your gf, for all I know she could be a bitch. It really isn't fair for men or women to try to guide others on the "How to's" of catching women or men when you obviously are having troubles in your own. LS is not about trying to persuade others to think the way you do, it is about asking questions and discussing ones ideas. We (women) are not animals and don't require training sessions on how to take care of us. But, we can talk about our feelings, fears, insecurities, needs, desires and such.

 

 

 

Actually I cut back on the sexual contact after the doubts started to seep into my mind. As far as her actions go I need you to be more specific on what actions I should be looking for.

 

I don't expect her to spend any money on me especially since she's not working right now. Even if she did have a job I still don't expect it. It's the thought that counts. She did send me a e-mail greeting card and gave me a cd for my birthday and that is very much appreciated. I e-mailed her a thank you card as a token of my appreciation. We spent the majority of the day together on my birthday which was last friday.

 

Sometimes she initiates affection and sometimes I do. Are those the actions that you are talking about? Of course she always ends our phone and IM conversations with "I love you" but any woman can give lip service to love. We have not argued in 2 months.

 

You ask me why I stay in the relationship? Because I love her to death. I love her with all my heart and soul. It's not just because I don't want to be alone. I just don't think I'll ever find a woman who catches my heart as she does. I have to be honest with myself when I say that my heart belongs to her. I may pull back and act distant to see if she'll miss me but my heart has never pulled back from her. My heart still belongs to her. If I break up with her now the only difference is that I will have removed my body from her presence completely but my heart will always be with her.

[Tim'sAngel]

OK, I think your over analysing a little too much. When I ask if her actions are speaking louder than her words, its because you keep saying over and over that she tells you she's happy but you keep doubting her. Why?

[Tim'sAngel]

Actually I cut back on the sexual contact after the doubts started to seep into my mind.

 

If you all of the sudden cut back on sex, then no doubt she has noticed this. If so, she will feel unwanted and unattractive. That will end up being an insecurity which will put a strain on your relationship.