john1776 Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 This is a guide specifically to help guys get and keep a girlfriend around. Enjoy. A. When you get a woman's phone number do not call her right away. Do not tell her when you'll call. Leave her thinking. Wait 3 days before calling her the 1st time. Wait 5 days before calling the 2nd time. Wait 8 days before calling the 3rd time. After that 3rd time give her a chance to initiate a call to you. If she is really interested in going out with you then she will call you after the 1st 3 times you call her. She may be playing hard to get during those 1st 3 times but after that she will call. If she doesn't call after the 3rd time you call her then go into strict no contact mode and move on because she's not interested in you. The reason for spacing out your calls is so that you do not come off as a desperate man. Desperation is not attractive. You leave a little mystery about yourself if you space out your calls. B. Do not rush into exclusive dating. I believe in dating as friends first for at least 2 months or 6 dates at the minimum. If you need longer than that then take as long as you need. But establishing friendship is important first. This is the "getting to know" each other stage. You ask her questions and find out what her hobbies and other interests are. Ask her about her work. Ask her parents what they do for a living. Ask if she has any siblings. Keep the focus of the conversation more on her and less on yourself. Don't volunteer to talk about yourself. Only when she asks questions about you then you should talk about yourself. Women are attracted to modest men who don't talk about themselves unless they are asked to. C. Make sure that she is doing the majority of the talking. Women love to talk and express details. It is not really masculine for a man to talk too much. I would say you should allow her to do at least 75% of the talking. A woman is turned off by a man who lectures and hogs the conversation talking about himself. The more words you speak the greater the risk of saying something that will kill her attraction towards you. The fewer words you speak the better. As the saying goes "it's better to keep your mouth shut and be thought of as a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt." D. Make sure you do not fall in love before she does. Do not say "I love you" until she says it first. I believe that ultimately women have the final say in who they will be in a romantic relationship with. If you have dated for at least 2 months and you have every reason to believe that there is chemistry between the two of you then ask her to be your girlfriend. I think it's better that you wait for her to ask you first. When I met my girlfriend 3 years ago she made the first move by kissing me first. But if you want to take it upon yourself then you can ask her in a direct way by saying "Tracy we have been hanging out as friends for awhile now and I want you to know that I really like you and I really enjoy your company. I really feel we have alot in common and I'd like to know if you would like to take our friendship to the next level and be exclusive boyfriend/girlfriend." Ask her once & once only. If she says no then respect that and continue the friendship. If you can't handle a friendship at that point then cut all contact with her until you are ok with it. Either way find someone else to date in the meantime. E. It's very important to keep in mind that the early stages of an exclusive relationship is the honeymoon phase. During the honeymoon phase you feel like you are in heaven. You feel like life just can't be any better. You feel like you are on top of the world. The two of you are lovey dovey with each other. There's no arguing. The two of you are on your best behavior and polite with each other. It's a wonderful feeling. This early stage is the infatuation stage. It feels like real love. This is very common early on. Unfortunately this honeymoon phase doesn't last forever. On average it lasts 6 months. Now 6 months is an estimate. Some shorter, some longer. I don't want anyone to misunderstand me. Don't have the mindset of counting the months that go by and think "well if I get past 6 months then that means she's a keeper." Wrong! The honeymoon stage in my relationship lasted 9 months. We got into our first serious argument after 9 months. As the two of you get more comfortable with each other then you run into conflicts. F. Always remain a challenge in the relationship. Try not to overstay your welcome at her house. Always give her the gift of missing your presence. Play hard to get. Don't call so many times per day or even everyday. Try not to call more than twice a week. Now if you have a legitimate reason for calling then call. If she has a legitimate need for emotional support then call more often. Don't return her calls right away unless it's an emergency. Under normal circumstances take 1-2 days to get back to her. Don't rush into sex. I don't care if she makes the first sexual move on you. Tell her that it's a good idea to take things slow. She'll respect you more for it later. Don't feel guilty or ashamed over your sexual desires but save sex only for special occasions. The spark will burn hotter that way. If you can completely abstain from sex until marriage then so much for the better. Otherwise any kind of sex outside of marriage should be done only on special occasions. You don't want to get too emotionally attached to her and that's what sexual activity does. You are giving part of your soul to her. Make sure you have hobbies and activites that do not involve her. Don't neglect hanging out with your friends. Trust me your girlfriend will gain respect for you when she sees that you are living your own life outside of the relationship and allowing her to live hers. G. Never argue with your girlfriend. Play it cool. When she says or does something that offends you then it's best that you keep your mouth shut. Do not talk with her about it otherwise you will come across as a condescending lecturer. Women will tune you out fast if they feel that you are being a lecture daddy. Also never apologize to her. You can admit that you were wrong and make restitution wherever possible but do not apologize. Instead communicate to her with action that you find her behavior unacceptable. For example if she does not return your calls then don't return hers. If she seems too busy to hang out with you then don't you dare be available when she asks to hang out! I know that women will say that they want open communication in a relationship but they act like they don't. When a woman says she wants something and acts just the opposite then pay attention to her actions. Her actions are telling you what she really means. The shocking truth is that alot of women want you to tell them what they want to hear. So it's best to keep your mouth shut because it's very unlikely that you'll win an argument. If you sense that she's pulling away from you then you need to pull farther back from her. This is exactly what I do when my girlfriend goes 2 or 3 days without calling. She normally calls me once a day. If she stops calling for a couple days then I don't make an issue out of it. I play it cool. I just pull farther back and don't call her. In those situations I try to give her the benefit of the doubt that maybe she had some issues that didn't give her time to call me. Either way I play the waiting game in the meantime and wait to hear from her. I tell myself that if she loves me then I know she will get in touch with me whenever she can. Sometimes when she calls she'll volunteer to explain why she didn't call the night before. I didn't even have to ask her. H. Do not keep tabs on your girlfriend's whearabouts. If you are worried about her cheating on you then stop worrying. It won't do you any good. If she really wants to cheat on you then she will and you can't stop her. If anything clinging to her will drive her away from you further and very likely into the arms of another man. Reverse psychology proves that we as humans do not like to be pressured into doing things. If you are smothering her then she is more likely to cheat. For example if she wants to take a trip to the Bahamas for the summer then you can react one of two ways: 1. Beg her not to go and tell her that you can't live without you. 2. Tell her that while you will miss her over the summer that you wish her a safe trip. Tell her that you wish her to have fun and look forward to her telling you all about it when she gets back. If you take option 1 then I can almost guarantee you that she will not want to spend her summer with you. She may be driven to go to the Bahamas anyway and flirt with some guys. If you take option two then she knows how you feel as far as missing her but that you are supportive of her prospects. It's best to let her be free to do what she wants. That way you know that she's staying with you willingly if she changes her mind. I. Be unpredictable. Don't buy her flowers every week. Buy gifts on special occasions. Don't take her to the finest restaraunts all the time. Give without expecting anything in return. In summary the best chance you have of keeping a woman in your life is to not make the mistake of smothering her with your presence. Give her the gift of missing you. Support her decisions on what to do with her life. If she wants to go away for the summer then be supportive of that and let her go. These guidelines do not apply to guys out there who are engaged or married. This is only for those who are trying to get a date or who are already in exclusive dating relationships.
Alexandra Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 I'm sure some of these are good -can't be bothered to read it all, I admit- but to have hard rules over the amount of days that need to pass before you call smacks of the soverysuave method and it's just absurd. I really think people who can't understand there are no exact ways to "catch wo/men" should not even attemt to.
johan Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 I just use my winning personality as bait, and then I try to impregnate them as soon as possible.
AriaIncognito Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 If I had a guy do that "wait 3 days, wait 5 days" b*lls*** on me I'd send him packing. That's ridiculous. If you want to be with someone, there are no rules on how often you should talk to them... Jennifer
Alexandra Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 I just use my winning personality as bait, and then I try to impregnate them as soon as possible. Well then, how many little Johans and Johanettes out there already?
johan Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 Well then, how many little Johans and Johanettes out there already? I only try. Not much success so far.
Author john1776 Posted June 25, 2006 Author Posted June 25, 2006 If I had a guy do that "wait 3 days, wait 5 days" b*lls*** on me I'd send him packing. That's ridiculous. If you want to be with someone, there are no rules on how often you should talk to them... Jennifer Why should a guy give his woman the luxury of feeling comfortable in the relationship when he's having doubts and worries about getting rejected? I know that if my gf does not call me for a couple days I can't help but wonder if I'm losing her. She needs to feel the same way with me too. That's one reason for spacing out calls.
Alexandra Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 Why should a guy give his woman the luxury of feeling comfortable in the relationship when he's having doubts and worries about getting rejected? I know that if my gf does not call me for a couple days I can't help but wonder if I'm losing her. She needs to feel the same way with me too. That's one reason for spacing out calls. Oh that then. Makes perfect sense! Why give her emotional security? Just drop the regular "I don't know about you honey, you're not all that". Why even make her physically secure then? Twisting her fingers or pulling her hair ought to keep her on her toes. How old are you? 14?
alphamale Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 It's the Insecure Man's Game, Alexandra. i have news for you OUTCAST....everyone is insecure to some extent. I don't believe i've every met anyone of either sex who was 100% secure.
Outcast Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 That may be, Alf, but it's not necessary to manipulate others just because you're insecure. If what you say is true, then plenty of 'insecure' people manage just fine by being honest and straightforward and eschewing this kind of nonsense.
Alexandra Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 i have news for you OUTCAST....everyone is insecure to some extent. I don't believe i've every met anyone of either sex who was 100% secure. I doubt it was news for her smarty pants. How about "More-insecure-than-the-average-relatively-insecure-bear Man's Game"? Any better?
Alexandra Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 What? Another guide to keeping women? Yup, to think how many of these guys could really use a woman to keep their guide files in order....
vi_pn_babe25 Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 If I had a guy do that "wait 3 days, wait 5 days" b*lls*** on me I'd send him packing. That's ridiculous. If you want to be with someone, there are no rules on how often you should talk to them... Jennifer Yah but in my experience it will be the "healthy thing" to do in the long run. Calling everyday shows that you don't have a life, calling every so often like 3 or 5 days, says you do. I'm telling you it just leads to "neediness" and calling everyday will be expected of the other person, which leads to desperate measures if it doesn't happen.
Author john1776 Posted June 25, 2006 Author Posted June 25, 2006 Yeah how much pestering can a woman take if her bf calls her everyday let alone twice a day? She has a threshold. This guide as well as other guides on LS are good in helping keep guys on their toes. LS is a place to help you not get too comfortable in your relationships. You must be kept on your toes at all times!
BrandonBP Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 This should be renamed "John's Guide to Catching and Keeping 13 to 20 Year Old Girls."
Author john1776 Posted June 25, 2006 Author Posted June 25, 2006 If you call her everyday then you are lucky if she doesn't call the cops on you for harassment.
Outcast Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 Calling everyday shows that you don't have a life, calling every so often like 3 or 5 days, says you do. No, it says you're pretending to have a life. But she'll find out the truth anyway so why waste all this time fooling someone into falling for you and then bitching when she leaves upon finding out who you really are? Cut the BS, be who you are, and if she doesn't like lifeless you, stuff her. You'll find a fellow couch potato far faster. Honestly, if you keep doing this and getting left, doesn't that tell you that you can only fool someone for so long and that in the long run it always blows up in your face?
vi_pn_babe25 Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 No, it says you're pretending to have a life. But she'll find out the truth anyway so why waste all this time fooling someone into falling for you and then bitching when she leaves upon finding out who you really are? Cut the BS, be who you are, and if she doesn't like lifeless you, stuff her. You'll find a fellow couch potato far faster. Honestly, if you keep doing this and getting left, doesn't that tell you that you can only fool someone for so long and that in the long run it always blows up in your face? Well I definitely agree with you if you're in a monogomous relationship..bf/gf. I was talking about when you're in the "dating" scene. Hell no would I tolerate my bf not calling me in 3 or 5 days! I guess I read the OP wrong, "catching & KEEPING women" he does say he has a gf, oops lol
Bullgator Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 Bullgator's guide to catching and keeping women: 1.) Be Yourself 2.) Repeat until successful.
johan Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 Yup, to think how many of these guys could really use a woman to keep their guide files in order.... Funny to think most of the guides are being written by guys who don't currently have a woman. The magnanimous side of me figures this is just a way think things through. So it shouldn't be taken as a guide really. Just some thoughts. Maybe I should write one. On the off-chance someone actually followed my advice, at least I could figure that's one less guy I have to compete against.
Alexandra Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 Maybe I should write one. On the off-chance someone actually followed my advice, at least I could figure that's one less guy I have to compete against. You should start by replacing your signature since that one could actually work! The Guide to Writing a "How to get women" Guide: Use many exclamation marks and the occasional 1 for emphasis -E.g. "Never call in the evenings!!!!!!!!!!11" they lend weight to your points and make them far more credible-;Use nothing but unqualified, unresearched, personal observations. These may require you to exagerrate numbers and ideas. Transform, it's the key. -E.g. Don't say "my gf once lectured me on porn" say "ALL woman hate porn!!!!11 Hide it!!!!"-;Include points about dates, bars, calls, driving to her house, cats, gifts and last but not least sex and American Idol;Throw in observations you once heard over beer with your one and only mate but make it sound like all of your male friends said the same thing. -E.g. "EVERY guy I know keeps his gf on her toes by smearing peanutbutter on her makeup kit when she's out of line. Go out and buy peanut butter and use it often!!!"-;Use an abundance of phrases pertaining to your extensive knowledge about women such as "What all women want is....", "Every woman thinks about....", "Never forget that all chicks....", etc;Forget silly facts, make it a point to say you had herds of women thanks to your method;For extra credibility say you're just about finished on a hard copy of these rules and what you're typing is just a free preview out of generosity for your fellow men who are oblivious to these fundamental truths.Hope it helps.
westernxer Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 Funny to think most of the guides are being written by guys who don't currently have a woman. The magnanimous side of me figures this is just a way think things through. So it shouldn't be taken as a guide really. Just some thoughts. That's true.
AriaIncognito Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 You should start by replacing your signature since that one could actually work! The Guide to Writing a "How to get women" Guide: Hope it helps. :lmao:
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