stronggirl Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 In my case we were together for 6 months and it was really really good, lots of laughter, so many similar passions, in my eyes it was too good to be true (clearly). I was deeply in love, and he told me he loved me so much as well, all googly eyed, three months into the relationship. It was very very passionate the first 4+ months. During the fufth month, we both got really sick. We were there for each other and helped each other through it. At the fifth/six month mark, the relatiosnhip had started to get more deep and issues started to come up with communication and we had had a few arguments, but I always felt that we worked through them and came up with good resolutions and plans for growth in our communication. No one is perfect. The crazy thing is that a few weeks before he broke up with me, he had told me that in all of his relationships he felt he had broken up too early (he's 34, and most of his relationships lasted 6 months, he might have had one that was under a year) and felt maybe he had given up prematurely. Does this sounds like a pattern in him? Does this sound like someone that is in love with "Love", the googly butterfly chemical love, and he dumps you as it starts to wane? I know he also has emotional problems in his family and said he came from an upbringing where no one said I love you or showed emotion. At the time of breakup, he said he "couldn't give me what i wanted". He said it was "too much work" and he "wished it was like it was three months ago". Anyway, it was like a 180 and threw me for a loop. So i guess my question is how does someone just love you so deeply one moment, and then stop loving you the next? This has NEVER happened with me in any relationship I have been in, on my part. We were fairytale. Unfortunately the whole month before we broke up, we were both very physically sick. And couldn't really be too sexually intimate, but we were very loving and supportive intimate. Do you think this is what killed the chemistry for him? The other thing is, I know he loves me very very much as a person and i know this hurt him to do this and hurt me. I began NC immediately. I told him i was still in love with him, but i had to put myself first and foremost. i didn't even cry. When he wrote me the next day and said he wanted to call, i told him that he could call me if he needed to, but that i didn't really feel like it would be the best thing for me. He responded with " I totally understand what you say, and I will respect what you want and need. I am sorry for hurting you. It was the last thing I wanted." Did i make a mistake in that? I just want to do NC for me, without him thinking that I am angry with him. I am friends with nearly every EX i have ever had, but i wonder if I will not be friends with him, even if i move on, and it does make me sad. But I had/have to do what I had/have to do. It's just that I feel like we certainly had the "I-Want-To-Be-With-You" type of love, and not just the "I-Care-About-You" type of love, and maybe the change in the relationship, from the getting sick to the end of the "honeymoon" to work through, made it all cloudy for him? I know he wanted to be with me, because we spent a little time nearly everyday together, many tims instigated by him........ One other thing.....has anyone ever had someone break up with them by saying "I love you. I am just not in love. Meaning I care for you and for what happens to you, but it is that chemistry between us that I no longer feel" but then, after time, realize that what they did have was real love and come back? I am not necessarily hoping for this or holding my breath at all, but am curious if it has ever happened to anyone. Telling someone you are not IN love with them seems pretty final to me. Loss of chemistry. It happens i guess, even when you would least expect it.
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