Bazeballfreak011 Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 I had no idea where else to turn because I've been getting advice from just about everyone and they all seem to think something different. My exgf and I had been dating for a little over two years. She's 17 and Im 18. Yes I realize were both very young. I actually just graduated high school this year and she is going to be a senior. OK but anways, to the story. About 3 weeks ago she broke up with me because she just wanted sometime to find herself and just be a seventeen year old girl and have fun with her friends her senior year. That started off making me mad because she didnt have the same concern for me maybe wanting that my senior year. What I guess it all stemmed from was her parents and her older sister. Both married their high school sweet hearts pretty much straight out of high school. Luckily, both couples are still together (her parents 26 yrs, sister 7 yrs). They had been telling her lately that they regretted not being single a lil in high school and just being themselves because I guess when your with someone for a while you start to lose yourself and adapt to each other. So as far as i know, she freaked out about that and immediately jumped to breaking up so she wouldn't have regrets. What I dont understand is, neither her sister nor mom would trade their memories for the world. All of it just made me wonder how much I really meant to her after over two years. She told me she doesn't plan on being with anyone else and that she wishes I would wait till shes ready. She told me that a worst case scenario could be as long as feb or march of '07. I was actually supposed to go over there today for a party for her older sister bc she graduated with her teachign degree but my ex told me she now thinks its a bad idea that I go. We've gotten into two fights since we broke up, both were htis week. First one was about us bothing trying to make each other jealous with people we'd been hangin out with and the second was because I was stupid and without thinkin asked her for a girls number that she was friends with. If I thought about how it sounds now, i woudl have never done that but to me it was just like asking for a friends number, like the girl didnt mean that much to me. But now i realize that was pretty dumb. So I guess after explaining my life story to ya'll, my main question is, do I wait? I was really considering doing it till she told me that it was a bad idea that I come today to the party. then it made me doubt how much I felt like a family to her family and a friend to her. She still says I'm both, but I just dont feel like it. Kinda like, she thinks were not ready to hang out and we barely talk but were supposed to pick up on being best friend when shes ready to start hangin out? After she told me it was a bad idea I just got upset and told her to have a great life and left it at that. I really love her and care for her with all my heart and so much more. She been going out with friends a lot lately too, is it because she trying to cover up being hurt by making a mistake or is it her just doing what shes been wanting for a while? If you need to know more info or have a question to ask me just post it and I'll get back to it tonight or tomorrow. Thanks for your time and advice, I really need it. Any other advice as to what you think I should do to kinda make her have a reality check or something to realize shes maybe losing me for good by pushing me away this way would also help. I hate playing games with love, but she says she wants to be with me, but she wants to be single for awhile. It's taking a toll on me and she needs to realize shes screwing up a lot of things with our relationship.
amaysngrace Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 I'm sorry for what you're going through. It sounds like it's torturing you. But I think to get out of this with your pride in tact, you have to let her go. Some people think that holding on makes you strong when in reality, sometimes strength comes from letting go. Try your best to accept that she no longer wants you in her life. It may be just for right now or it may be forever. Plan on it being forever. Do whatever you can to find yourself again. You probably lost a bit of your own identity and who you are, because you have been coupled up with her for so long. Become complete without her. Become happy without her. Not so you can win her back, but because you owe it to yourself to be the best you you can be. It's okay to be sad, hurt and angry. You have every right to feel like this. But you don't want to be stuck in these feelings, you have to move forward through them. I wish you a lot of luck in getting through this because it sucks bigtime. But just know that in the long run, you'll be a better, stronger person because you put your own well-being first. XO
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