my ex cried after i've learned the truth that he cheated... now.. he's hidding :(

[sweetyetbitter]

i had this 2 years and a half bf who i thought he'd be my forever. almost everyone envied us. our relationship was favored by our families and friends. he's naturally sweet and he is so patient to my rants and nagging all the time. but this attitude of mine stopped when i asked to have a cool off with him since he was so not interested of seeing me during weekends. i then realized that i wanted to had a better relationship with him and reflected on some of my shortcomings. then we got back together and i had become a sweeter person and never nagged and argued on things i really never like bout him. i have been to generous and i was never tight on him with regards to his hanging out with his other friends... i have trusted him more... though that the comeback was a good start for a better relationship...

 

we're together with my family last christmas. that was his 3rd christmas with us. we were so happy partying then someone called in his cellphone. he mentioned it was his brother abroad...but after that conversation he started sobbing..he really look so depressed. a day after christmas he has not answered any of my phone calls and was hidding... i was actually planing to give him a surprise birthday on the 27th...coz he never had any bday celebration all his life! to my surprise he broked up with me the day before his bday:( the reason behind the break up was he is not happy with me and thats it. he admits it was his fault but he wouldnt tell the real reason. how many times did he mentioned that i am the perfect girl and i deserve someone better.

 

for 3 months he was checking me out through our common friends if i am ok... and he's always telling my friends... "i wanted her to be happy". our friends wanted us to be back but he wouldnt tell his side of the story why we broked up.... i was with our common friends (which was his close friends way back high school) hanging out and they have decided to have dinner on a restaurant where we always dated before... to our surprise we saw him with another girl who accidently look like me... i was really in raging anger and it came to a point that his girl was pointing fingers at me... i kicked her (haha) but my ex just bowed his head not looking at no one and did nothing to protect his girl.

 

his mom and sister (i am so close to his family) called me the next day. he said that he was only dating the girl. they wanted me to drop by their house coz he wanted to explain and they wanted us to be back. the time went his place... he was crying and he was so sorry for what happened... he even mentioned "he'd be happy if he see's me happy" and he even gaved me a big hug and he even bring me home that night.... i felt that it was all coming back.... he still gives some private messages to me in YM but this time he was invisible all the time.

 

i told his caught in the act story to another common friend of ours... coz the comeback theory did had any progress at all after a month... that was the time he was so sorry and told me that the girl we saw was the the same girl he saw with my ex in the train station way back november (my ex and i were still in a relationship by that time). i told her sister bout this and me and my ex talked over the phone. he was really crying (this time he was really crying loud) he was really scared of me knowing the truth but i never said anything harsh against him. part reason was i was a nagger and he got tired...(but i changed during the time he dated the other.. may be he did see me changed at all) he even mentioned he was so confused and didnt know what to do with his life. he is not actually that happy with his relationship with his new girl now. he even mentioned breaking up with the girl coz his girl was a bit naughty that she made my ex jump from one relationship to the next. i was releaved but really hurt but at least i know the truth now after 4 months of not knowing the truth. but that didnt stop me from loving him.... i believed this time he'd be doin it right...

 

days after that her sister told me that my ex and his girl reconcilled. this time i've had enough... i let him be but i still have feeling for him. i never talked to him for more than a month now. but i am still in touch with his family coz i am a godmom to my ex's neice... i have been civil to his family and never mentioned about our relationship. i even attended the christianing and birthday of his neice. the affair was almost a complete attendance except for him. he just stayed in the house and had locked himself in the room. till now i have no news from him... he didnt even told a thing about his new affair to his family... he's invisible in the messenger, changed his cell phone number and has been hiding from our friends. his family even mention that he just locks himself in his room and they have received no phone calls from his girl and they havent seen him bring the girl to his house (knowing that they're together for almost 6 months now) ....

 

he has become so shallow... he's a mystery to all of us now... may be hiding from us was his karma...

 

i love him. though i am not expecting him to be back right now... i felt he is not that happy now as we were before...i hope he has learned so much from this experience. now i have learned to love him more cause i have done the hardest thing for me to do.... setting him free... i havent talked to him for almost 2 months

 

hope you could post your advices on this experience of mine....

would a comeback be possible after what happened to us.... i mean we have the same circle of friends and his mom and sister loves me so much that they would still check me out if im ok. and he still keeps the drawing i made (i drawn something at the back of a receipt) the last time we saw each other.

[SoleMate]

I'd like to give advice, but your story is awfully hard to read. Would you consider editing it down and including just the key points? Not any of the side notes, explaining who the friends are, etc. Also, the use of capital letters where required would improve readability. Then you may get some responses.

[Diver012]

Sounds to me like he is a very confused man. Hes lost. I would continue NC and move on as best as you can. He may find his way back to you someday, but after what has happened, if that happened to me, trust would me a major problem from this point forward for me...

 

I have heard of couples getting back together after scenarios like this. But only after some time has past.. years... I would let it go.