allina Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 I was pretty crushed when my relationship first ended, though with the help of my friends, some fun nights out and my pride I managed to do a great deal of moving on within these three weeks. The past few days have been especially great. I realized that the relationship wasn't meant to be, and got to a point where I no longer wanted him back, at all. One of the reasons I have been able to move on quickly was my best girlfriend of ten years. She was always there for me, to go out, just hang out or whatever. Tonight I found out that she has gotten in to some trouble (nothing shady, just personal drama) and will be staying at her parent's home for at least the next six months. This is about 8 hours away and means that I will rarely get to see her if at all. In a way it made me feel alone and awful all over again. No boyfriend, no best friend, this month I have lost the two people I was closest with. Tomorrow I'm going to the SF Pride Parade with my ex, we planned it a long time ago, we're on good terms, so we decided to go anyways. I hope that I don't forget that I'm done with him and that any loneliness I may feel is a product of circumstances, nothing personally related to him.
Pink Amulet Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 I am sorry to hear she is leaving. I know I have used my best friend for support over the past few difficult months. I don't know what I would do is she left me! When I move to the US she is going to follow me and see if she can marry an American (she is the hottest girl I have ever seen if there are any takers) so she can stay with me! I understand how difficult this would be for you. The recent sense of loss you experienced might be a reason to reconsider this meeting with your ex? It could put you back to day one and jeopordise the strength you has so wonderfully regained. You may feel as though losing one to reasons beyond your controll might be bad, but two would be devastating, forgetting the reasons for breaking up in the first place. Just be careful, and be sure of your inner strength, and keep thinking logically. Good luck sweetie.
Pyro Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 The recent sense of loss you experienced might be a reason to reconsider this meeting with your ex? It could put you back to day one and jeopordise the strength you has so wonderfully regained. You may feel as though losing one to reasons beyond your controll might be bad, but two would be devastating, forgetting the reasons for breaking up in the first place. Just be careful, and be sure of your inner strength, and keep thinking logically. Good luck sweetie. You took the words out of my mouth.
Bullgator Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 I, too, was questioning the wisdom of doing something with the ex at this point.
Fun2BMe Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 I, too, was questioning the wisdom of doing something with the ex at this point. So was I, but maybe you can look sexy and use it as an opportunity to win him back? Look at it as a golden opportunity to get back together without high expectations in case it doesn't work out.
Pyro Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 I, too, was questioning the wisdom of doing something with the ex at this point. Who knows? I mean maybe she will be able to handle the situation well. If she can't, then she will at least learn a valuable lesson from it. Sometimes we must experience something before we really know how we feel about it.
Author allina Posted June 25, 2006 Author Posted June 25, 2006 I can honestly tell you guys that I do not want him back, and that I can handle the situation. I think it's mostly the shock of 'losing' two people in a short period of time. I will update you all on how it goes.
Author allina Posted June 26, 2006 Author Posted June 26, 2006 Well, yesterday, as planned me and the exbf went to the SF Pride Parade. It was fun, not awkward, not hurtful. We kept it at a friendship level mostly. After the parade we came back to my place, had some wine, had some dinner, hung out...... ended up getting drunk. So, uhmm yeah, he left this morning (no sex but we crossed the friend line), I had fun, and I still don't want him back.
Pyro Posted June 27, 2006 Posted June 27, 2006 Well, yesterday, as planned me and the exbf went to the SF Pride Parade. It was fun, not awkward, not hurtful. We kept it at a friendship level mostly. After the parade we came back to my place, had some wine, had some dinner, hung out...... ended up getting drunk. So, uhmm yeah, he left this morning (no sex but we crossed the friend line), I had fun, and I still don't want him back. Well as long as you don't end up falling back to square one and having to start the coping process over, then more power to you.
Author allina Posted June 27, 2006 Author Posted June 27, 2006 Well as long as you don't end up falling back to square one and having to start the coping process over, then more power to you. Thanks, I'm fine with things, I can't say that I don't feel a thing but I have moved along from the relationships. I just sort of feel bad because it's something people frown upon so much.
Pyro Posted June 27, 2006 Posted June 27, 2006 Thanks, I'm fine with things, I can't say that I don't feel a thing but I have moved along from the relationships. I just sort of feel bad because it's something people frown upon so much. People frown upon it because lots of people can not handle a friendship with their ex. People have tried and have been unsuccessful, myself included. But I don't look down on you for your decisions. You are an individual and do what makes you happy. Do not feel bad for your own decisions. Does he fully understand that you have no desire to get back together with him?
Author allina Posted June 27, 2006 Author Posted June 27, 2006 People frown upon it because lots of people can not handle a friendship with their ex. People have tried and have been unsuccessful, myself included. But I don't look down on you for your decisions. You are an individual and do what makes you happy. Do not feel bad for your own decisions. Does he fully understand that you have no desire to get back together with him? Well I'm not going to make hooking up with the ex a regular thing, it's one of those things that happened, so whatever, sh*t happens. I'm pretty sure he knows that I don't want to get back together, and I'm also pretty sure that he doesn't want to get back together either, probably even less so than I. Also, I forgot about the second portion of this thread, the part about my girlfriend. It looks like everything will work out and she will be back in August. And so things are coming back together once again
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