Shana555 Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 Ugh, having a hard night. I moved out of my ex’s (of 5 years) house about a month ago and it has been about 2 weeks since we last talked. Well we never even really broke up! I moved out, and then we were hanging out a lot and were going to take it slow and see if we could work things out…. But I was confused on what I should do so I started making myself really busy going out with friends most nights... That's when he stopped calling. I haven’t called him because he’s the one that hurt me, so I’m not going to chase him. It was a friends b-day tonight, so I went out there to celebrate with them… Thing is, it was only a couple mins down the road from the ex’s house. It took all my strength to not call him. Especially after a few drinks, I just had to leave. I am really missing him I just want to start feeling better about this, but it seems everyday I feel worse and miss him more.
Pink Amulet Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 It has to get worse before it can get better. Hang in there girl. Remember if you contact him, you go back to day one.
miranda beverly Posted June 26, 2006 Posted June 26, 2006 Wow, I was in the same exact position. I was living with my boyfriend of four years and moved out. He said that he didnt think he would end up breaking up with me just because I moved out. I had a gut feeling that it was exactly what would happen, and I was right. Once I left it turned into him "really liking his space" and then finally "asuming that we havent been dating in weeks". Eventually he told me that we would never get back together again. And he finally said that two and a half months later. It was pretty effed up. Please please please don't drag it out and tourture yourself for as long as I did . I'm serious.
Diver012 Posted June 26, 2006 Posted June 26, 2006 Not trying to pry here, but what did he do to hurt you? Was it an unforgivable thing? You both stated that you wanted to try and work things out. What changed to push you into NC? Confusion over what? These are all questions you need to answer to yourself. If your missing him so much, could you forgive him, for what ever he did and move forward? If so, I would call him. If not, Stay strong and move on.
Author Shana555 Posted July 12, 2006 Author Posted July 12, 2006 I’m sorry I took so long to respond … How he hurt me was that he did not want a commitment after 5 years, (he's almost 30 yrs and Im (23)th..... Hen finally asked me to move in, totally treated me like crap while I was there… I was just an inconvenient guest in his house . Never included me in anything. Then a month later he wanted me to move out because pretty much he felt smothered and wanted to live on his own. That and this why I stopped talking to him. 5 years together and he couldn’t stand living with me for a month!! Would we ever be able to live together?! The confusion was I didn’t know if I wanted to cut him out of my life forever, to be friends, or to give it time and then possible another chance. I didn’t understand why he would still want to be work things out if he couldn’t live with me. Things have recently changed if you keep reading. Well he finally called and I answered. Don’t ask why I did. I wasn’t planning to talk to him anytime soon, but when I heard his ring and his name popped up on the caller ID I couldn’t resist. We just started hanging out again. Last night I went over his house for a visit. He had pictures in frames of us together out around his room. He asked me if I still loved him, and I said yes I do. He said how much he loves me. We ended up making love for the first time since I moved out. It has been months It was so passionate I almost cried. I felt so much for him. He left in the morning with a long kiss and happy. I have been floating on a cloud all day. He called a few hours ago saying he wasn’t planning on making love last night. I said, neither was I, but obviously we still have feelings for each other and it happened. I don’t regret it. Then he said he’s been thinking so much since I took a break from him after I moved out. He said he meet new people and really enjoyed that. That’s been eating him up because he still also has feeling for me, but doesn’t want to hold me back or hurt me. I asked if he’s seeing somebody else. He said, kind of... They have just been hanging out, but he doesn’t know. He feels like he should just be single for a while. Then like most dumpers, said he wanted to still be friends and would always be there for me. Blah blah….I agreed and said ok to everything he said. I have read on LS abouty so much how people that have begged and pleaded to keep their guy/firl and cried and it just made things worse. That’s why I reacted as if I didn’t care, even though we all know I do. But talking to a friend after I talked to him I really got angry wondering why he had pictures of us all out and was telling me he loved me, then made love all while he has been thinking for a while that he wants to be single or to see somebody else. I don’t understand!!!! So a friend suggested I leave him a voicemail because she thought it would bother me really bad unless I understood this more…. I called and left a message. This is exactly what I said… Hey, I’ve been thinking… you caught me off guard earlier and I didn’t really know what to say. I agree with you that we should be single. Things have been so confusing between us lately. We want different things from a relationship so it’s not fair for us to be together. About being friends, I’m totally cool with chatting and hanging out just as friends. I mean you were my best friend and lover of 5 years I’m going to bed soon, but can you please call back and leave me a message answering this one question I have… This is going to eat me up if I don’t ask you. I’m not mad about us making love, I wasn’t planning that either, but it happened. I had so much fun. But anyway, what I need to know is if you have been feeling like this for a while last night why did you have our pictures out and ask me if I loved you, when I said yes you said you loved me too. You don’t want me to be hurt; I just need to understand that because it is really going to eat me up like you said things have been for you. Well that’s it!! Ok, call me, leave a message or whatever… alright, bye I know I probably should not have called and left that message. I doubt he will respond. I think I know the answer. I don’t think he knows what he wants!!! That’s why he keeps coming back and then running away right? After 5 years, I know him very well sexually. Making love to him last night it seemed like he had not gotten off for a month before that, lol… So I know he hasn’t been sleeping with somebody else very recently Anyway that has nothing to do with this. I don’t know why I’m writing this. I’m just crying on and off. I’m so upset. I know I brought this on myself by getting back in contact with him…: smacks head: But now what? What to expect or do
Author Shana555 Posted July 12, 2006 Author Posted July 12, 2006 I’m sorry I took so long to respond … How he hurt me was that he did not want a commitment after 5 years, (he's almost 30 yrs and Im 32)th..... Hen finally asked me to move in, totally treated me like crap while I was there… I was just an inconvenient guest in his house . Never included me in anything. Then a month later he wanted me to move out because pretty much he felt smothered and wanted to live on his own. That and this why I stopped talking to him. 5 years together and he couldn’t stand living with me for a month!! Would we ever be able to live together?! The confusion was I didn’t know if I wanted to cut him out of my life forever, to be friends, or to give it time and then possible another chance. I didn’t understand why he would still want to be work things out if he couldn’t live with me. Things have recently changed if you keep reading. Well he finally called and I answered. Don’t ask why I did. I wasn’t planning to talk to him anytime soon, but when I heard his ring and his name popped up on the caller ID I couldn’t resist. We just started hanging out again. Last night I went over his house for a visit. He had pictures in frames of us together out around his room. He asked me if I still loved him, and I said yes I do. He said how much he loves me. We ended up making love for the first time since I moved out. It has been months It was so passionate I almost cried. I felt so much for him. He left in the morning with a long kiss and happy. I have been floating on a cloud all day. He called a few hours ago saying he wasn’t planning on making love last night. I said, neither was I, but obviously we still have feelings for each other and it happened. I don’t regret it. Then he said he’s been thinking so much since I took a break from him after I moved out. He said he meet new people and really enjoyed that. That’s been eating him up because he still also has feeling for me, but doesn’t want to hold me back or hurt me. I asked if he’s seeing somebody else. He said, kind of... They have just been hanging out, but he doesn’t know. He feels like he should just be single for a while. Then like most dumpers, said he wanted to still be friends and would always be there for me. Blah blah….I agreed and said ok to everything he said. I have read on LS abouty so much how people that have begged and pleaded to keep their guy/firl and cried and it just made things worse. That’s why I reacted as if I didn’t care, even though we all know I do. But talking to a friend after I talked to him I really got angry wondering why he had pictures of us all out and was telling me he loved me, then made love all while he has been thinking for a while that he wants to be single or to see somebody else. I don’t understand!!!! So a friend suggested I leave him a voicemail because she thought it would bother me really bad unless I understood this more…. I called and left a message. This is exactly what I said… Hey, I’ve been thinking… you caught me off guard earlier and I didn’t really know what to say. I agree with you that we should be single. Things have been so confusing between us lately. We want different things from a relationship so it’s not fair for us to be together. About being friends, I’m totally cool with chatting and hanging out just as friends. I mean you were my best friend and lover of 5 years I’m going to bed soon, but can you please call back and leave me a message answering this one question I have… This is going to eat me up if I don’t ask you. I’m not mad about us making love, I wasn’t planning that either, but it happened. I had so much fun. But anyway, what I need to know is if you have been feeling like this for a while last night why did you have our pictures out and ask me if I loved you, when I said yes you said you loved me too. You don’t want me to be hurt; I just need to understand that because it is really going to eat me up like you said things have been for you. Well that’s it!! Ok, call me, leave a message or whatever… alright, bye I know I probably should not have called and left that message. I doubt he will respond. I think I know the answer. I don’t think he knows what he wants!!! That’s why he keeps coming back and then running away right? After 5 years, I know him very well sexually. Making love to him last night it seemed like he had not gotten off for a month before that, lol… So I know he hasn’t been sleeping with somebody else very recently Anyway that has nothing to do with this. I don’t know why I’m writing this. I’m just crying on and off. I’m so upset. I know I brought this on myself by getting back in contact with him…: smacks head: But now what? What to expect or do
Author Shana555 Posted July 12, 2006 Author Posted July 12, 2006 Sorry about the double post earlier... Editing the post above... He's amost 30 and I'm 23 (not 32 lol).. Well he called me just now to answer the questions I asked in that voicemail last night. He said our pictures were out because he has never moved them. He hasnt had any girls over... He never took them down. That night he told me he loves me because he truly does. That he woud never stop loving me even though we are not together. We agreed to just be friends, no sex, none of that stuff... just normal friends I know it's possiable because I am still friends with my 2 other serious relationships. Actually, my #1 best friend is was my first real relationship and took my virginity. It took time for me to get over him and years to get to this level of friendship, but now we seriously are best friends always hanging out, talk daily, and we are always there for eachother when we are going through bad relationship or life problems. This still hurts sooo badly. I wish I could just stop loving him. 5 years of memories is hard to forget. I made a list of all the bad things about him and us together, but it didn't make me feel better... I tried the NC and keeping myself busy and stuff during our break. It works while I'm out, but when I go home I'm right back to being sad thinking of him. Any advice?
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