Guest Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 After 11 years, he broke up with me 6 weeks ago because he met someone he wanted to be with. We have had no contact since. Even though we work in the same place, I have changed my hours of work and have avoided him all this time. I have been doing ok. I have been keeping busy and working out. Tonight, my son had an allergic reaction after going to dinner with his father. I used 2 epi pens, but had to call an ambulance when he did not improve. I rode with him to the hospital. While I was waiting to give the front desk his information, my ex bf and his new girlfriend walked in. I tried to leave the area without being seen, but he saw me. He laughed and talked to her for a few minutes then approached me. I was already upset, and when he got close enough I told him to get away from me. He returned to her and they continued to laugh and talk some more. Thankfully they were not in the same recovery room as us. When my son's father and sister arrived, I took a taxi home. I am in shock. I can't stop crying. He looked so happy with her. I have thought about what it would be like to see him alot over the past weeks. I pay alot of attention to my appearance so that I will look good when he does see me. Well of course I was almost ready to go to bed when this happened. So I was not looking my best this evening. Glaring at him and telling him to stay away from me probably didn't help either. I want to call him and explain, but I know that it will probably make me feel worse than I already do. I miss him so much, and it really hurt to see him so happy with her. What would you do. Apologize for snapping at him and explain why you were there, or just let it go? I have been visiting this site often when I have felt like breaking the no contact. It has really helped me to be strong. Thanks for listening.
Violet87 Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 Well, if it was me, unless he asks about it I would let it go. I'm sure he had good intentions when he was approaching you but he's not apart of your life anymore. Chances are if you break the "no contact", you'll be back to the early stages of your breakup. You're still healing, so give yourself some time.
Pink Amulet Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 Let it go- nothing he thinks should matter to you anymore. You need to start being selfish.
Guest Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 Thanks for responding. I know that I should just keep to no contact. No good will come of breaking it. I just wish I hadn't seen them together. It's been hard not to think about him. I still get phone calls, messages and mail for him. I have a friend who works in his section, so I am passing his phone messages and mail on to her. She's friends with both of us, so I don't talk to her about him. I will keep up with the no contact and hopefully he will too.
destination_unknown Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 You know it really is always the one time you feel your looking like crap and at your most flustered that you run into them! Honestly, I feel really bad for you, of all places and of all circumstances that was one of the hardest to run into him in. You were probably really worried about your son and not expecting it at all. Don't even think about how you reacted, he just walked out after 11 years so nobody could fault you for telling him to go be away. But the others are right, calling really wont be productive. Keep concentrating on you, your son, your workouts, and you will find somebody good soon, just when your least expecting! Hope your son is ok.
Guest Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 Thanks for the kind words Destination. It has been a really hard day. My son is home from the hospital today and doing much better. It was the worst reaction that I have ever seen him take. I was very worried. I haven't called the ex and he hasn't called me either. I got up early today and went for my workout. It didn't really make me feel much better though. But I am determined to work on myself and will not let what he has done bring me down. I am so glad I am not working tomorrow as I am now very scared to bump into him again. My girlfriend tells me I shouldn't worry about that as I am looking fantastic and I should hold my head up, that it is him who should be ashamed. I am so glad that I found this site. Although I know that I didn't break no contact, I feel that today I am starting from square one. I spent an hour in the shower crying this morning so my kids wouldn't see me so upset today. I feel that is is because of all the support here that I can keep strong and move forward. To make it worse the girl he was with is his ex friend's old gf whom he always referred to as trash. He always said he couldn't understand what his friend saw in her. I guess he knows now.
PeanutHead88 Posted June 26, 2006 Posted June 26, 2006 Ouch! That sucks. What all people fear the most is running in to their ex's with their new gf's/bf's Im sorry you had to bear that. 11 years is a long time. But we've all been through the early stages of a break up and those are the hardest, all you feel like doing is crying , and waking up is the most painfull. He left you for another girl and that is even harder I'm sorry your just going to have to go with the flow of this all, and when you least expect it , You'll be feeling much better! Who knows ...all this might backfire on him , and the new gf might turn out to be a stupid crazy whore. Don't break the contact, you don't need to talk to him and you don't need to explain anything to him, it will only hurt you more.
Seimaden Posted August 7, 2006 Posted August 7, 2006 This is terrible for you. You're trying to be a good mom, employee, and keep your spirit up at the same time. You're a treasure! I know it always sounds trite when someone says "Someone will go head-over-heels for you one day," but I can honestly say you're the type of person that someone will! When you feel ready, make a point of trying to meet men who have children, maybe men who have full custody of their children. They've already fallen for the sociopath woman, and the last thing they want is another walking piece of trash. They want someone who can be a mom to all the kids, be good to herself, and someone he can dote over because he realizes how worth it you are. Give yourself the time to heal, but please start dating again one day. Someone will fall head-over-heels for you
Guest Posted August 18, 2006 Posted August 18, 2006 Thanks for the kind words Destination. It has been a really hard day. My son is home from the hospital today and doing much better. It was the worst reaction that I have ever seen him take. I was very worried. I haven't called the ex and he hasn't called me either. I got up early today and went for my workout. It didn't really make me feel much better though. But I am determined to work on myself and will not let what he has done bring me down. I am so glad I am not working tomorrow as I am now very scared to bump into him again. My girlfriend tells me I shouldn't worry about that as I am looking fantastic and I should hold my head up, that it is him who should be ashamed. I am so glad that I found this site. Although I know that I didn't break no contact, I feel that today I am starting from square one. I spent an hour in the shower crying this morning so my kids wouldn't see me so upset today. I feel that is is because of all the support here that I can keep strong and move forward. To make it worse the girl he was with is his ex friend's old gf whom he always referred to as trash. He always said he couldn't understand what his friend saw in her. I guess he knows now. oh my god...seriously you are so strong already..i feel so stupid compared to u. here i was, coming online all depressed about my 3 year break up...and i see you 11 year paragraph. that is really awesome u no how wel u r coping now??mine was like...so much shorter compared to yours...and i am absolutely devastated already.i cant imagine how hard it must be for you, but ur doing so much better than i am even..
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