Diver012 Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 Years ago I met a woman, and older woman, about 65, I was in my late 20's at the time. One of the most remarkably energetic women Ive ever had the pleasure of knowing. This woman had more energy and life to her than any other woman that walked into the room combined. It was facinating to witness. Naturally most everyone was drawn to her positive outlook on almost everything. She oozed self confidence. Cared not what others thought of her actions or beliefes. Its undescribable the positive vibes she gave to everyone. Her name is Pat Over the past few months, since I have been seperated from my Ex, I have been forced to take a long hard look at my life. Why it seemed to me that just when everything was going so right, it all turned so wrong. Did I not dress nice enough? Did I not listen enough? Did I not care enough? Maybe it was her. She must be messed up. Yeah thats it. Not my fault. How could the woman pass me up? She must be crazy. I was sitting in my chair, after a disasterous encounter with my parents at dinner. I have been distancing myself from their presence lately and I wasnt sure why... I just had no desire to be around them. I love my parents to death. They have been so loving and caring I owe them more than I can ever repay. But they are naturally negative people. My father has a temper, and my mother is just generally a very negative person. Hates where she lives. Hates the people here. Hates the weather. She surrounds herself with animals becasue it seems thats the one true joy she has left. I got sp pissed of over an incident. They were trying to help. Wrong place, wrong time, dont need to hear dating advice at 35 yrs old from my mother in a public place.. I got angry. Very Angry... I bit my lip and weathered it.. but I was visibly pissed off. I, for some reason, (Ill give this one to God, I have been praying for guidance), started analyzing why I am always so angry. Stressed out at work. Stressed out at my parents. Stressed out at my Ex. My relationship was ruined by me. I chose to react negatively to life. Life sucked. Life was dealing me crap. Laying blame everywhere else but on my self. Why am I sitting here alone? Why cant anyone love ME? Why did my Ex betray me? After she said she loved me? Because of my negative response towards all of lifes problems. Who wants to be around someone who is constantly saying... life sucks... my job sucks.. I hate this, I hate that. Nobody. People are naturally drawn to others that have a positive vibe about them. Its not so much a self confidence thing, as it is lifes all good. Life is what you make of it. You can either say, life is hard deal with it.. and be alone... or you can say, theres so much of life to enjoy, let the crap go and concentrate on the wonderful parts of it. You will get so much more out of life this way... Thank you Pat. Thank you very much. You are a true inspiration to me.
Pantero Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 I know exactly what you're trying to say. I know what you mean, but some days it's so damn hard to shake the negativity, ain't it? I guess it takes work and having to remind yourself it's not so bad. There's someone out there living it up and better than you and there's someone out there worse off than you. And that will never change. I guess it comes down to letting go of too many rigid expectations. More is not better, less is not better either. It's the road to inner peace we're all looking for. If we are happy with ourselves, all else is icing on the cake.
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