Lollie72 Posted June 24, 2006 Posted June 24, 2006 I just sit here preoccupied with my OM, and he doesn't know I want him so bad.....but my spouse knows I have feelings for someone else. And I'm seperated, and I'm just to the point where I swear I hate my spouse and want to rush into filing for a divorce since I finally got the seperation I've been manipulated back and forth over by my spouse to have(he kept saying, "if you seperate, I'll just file or divorce-because we either have to be ALL TOGETHER or ALL APART"......I finally gave up and forced the seperation risking he'd do as this threat intended....except I just feel it's way toooooo late for us, and I want to profess my lust, and incredible comfort psychologically/emotionally to this other MAN! AAAAAHHHHHHHH:bunny:
bunset Posted June 24, 2006 Posted June 24, 2006 Ahhh bittersweet temptation. I shall be in your shoes soon. except here, we don't do separation. It's dissolution..period. You seem to have been able to do the letting go of fears, so far. So all I can add is -Practice infinite patience, for it will produce immediate results. The immediate result is actually a deep sense of peace. Work on it, it will come. I'm working on it.
riobikini Posted June 24, 2006 Posted June 24, 2006 re: Lolly: " I'm newly seperated, and really think I am ready to go ahead with a divorce and up pops an awesome "Mr. Wonderful" and I think he has feelings for me too. I know this is't about rebounding, I think he and I could be long-term. I want to go completely slow, but feelings are very very strong and we've not even admitted to them yet. I thought it right to tell my spouse he's not the only guy in my heart anymore. He's pissed of-course/hurt. But the marriage was aweful, verbal abuse, crazy stuff, not violent directly-but accidents that almost hurt me at the end of living together. I kow I'd be divorcing with or without Mr. W. in the picture, I'm just trying to hold off on showing everyone I'm actually very happy and excited over Mr. W. It's so strange of an event." Lollie, the above was an excerpt from one of your recent other posts. You also posted in another regarding seeking information on 'rebounding', and in still another, you posted a thread with more information about the current longstanding complaints/problems with your husband in the marriage. Lollie, I think your feelings are, indeed, about *rebounding*, -but I think you may have felt *lonely* and abandoned emotionally, for a very long time in your marriage, in order to have been 'prepped' to have theses feelings. Your 'Mr. Wonderful' probably isn't all that wonderful, and you probably aren't all that ready to make a clear-thinking decision, right now. I think you are very *emotionally vulnerable* at this time, and any decision concernng a new relationship probably will not be based on much else than the need for immediate attention, and whatever can comfort you for the moment. It could *appear* to be not only a temporary 'fix' for your heartaches and marriage troubles, -but wind up delivering more heartbreak and adding further confusion to your present dilema. During my last breakup, I had an 'interim guy', -but -then- I have had *more experience* with the concept and wasn't blindly seeking an outcome of either love, nor holding out any hope for beginning a longterm relationship. I was hurting, too, -but my eyes were wide open to my emotions at the time, and we *both* knew that he was only there for a short time, and for a specific purpose. It simply wasn't about love. The best route, in inexperience with such a dangerous thing, is *not* to choose this, in the first place, -but if you *do*, be certain you *know* the risks, and are willing to accept them. -Rio
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