liciabug Posted June 24, 2006 Posted June 24, 2006 I am so emotionally spent that I cant think straight. To give you some background, my ex and I broke up about a month ago because we argued about trivial stuff. I admit that most of it was my fault for wanting him to read my mind and then getting mad when he didnt. He was very good to me, he cooked and cleaned, he was considerate and attentive. He even talked about marriage. I guess he finally decided he couldnt take it anymore and made the decision to leave me. Needless to say that after the break up I realized that what I had in him was good, and the small stuff was just that. So we began emailing back and forth and decided we would be "friends". During this time he started seeing someone else(within 2 weeks of our split) and he's changed his cell phone number, even denied it, but I know he wont go without a cell phone long. He doesnt call or come and see me and I have been a wreck because I want him back. I really dont feel as though he will come back, but he wants to keep in touch with me even though Ive told him how It hurts me to keep communicating with him. Im so confused. Why would he want to if he's found someone else? He wont even say he's seeing her. Could he still love me? Please read this email and tell me what you think. I need some unbias opinions. Someone please HELP! Tell me what to do. From: METo: HIM Subject: ... Hey M, It's about 4:00am and after another night of not sleeping, I decided that I have to give you up. I guess I thought that if I fought for you and told you the things that I hadnt told you before that you would feel the way I do, that you come back and we could start over. Its obvious though that this is not going to happen. You obviously see something in her that you didnt see in me. You have to admit that. You have given her so much more than you gave me. You've changed your number, you are giving her time and you have committed to her. We didnt have that so this has got to be something that you want. I dont know if you just wont admit it to me because you still care about me, but I have given it my best shot and you havent budged, and actions speak so much louder than words. Its fine though M, but I cant continue to do this. I cant continue to email you and hope that you may want to see me, that you may want me back. I need to get it together. I honestly hope that you are happy, that you have found "the one", I just wish you had met her before me lol. Anyway this will be my last email, really and I do not want you to respond. I need to and actually feel very strong about moving on now. I cant change the past and its not healthy for me to be where I am emotionally. I do love you VERY much, but that's life, everybody that you love is not going to love you back, atleast not like you want them to, no matter what. I have been here really only one other time, with A and I survived and moved on to love someone else and I will this time too. So if you just didnt want to hurt me, dont worry about it I am going to be ok. I have learned alot from our relationship, so maybe that's why you were supposed to be in my life for the time that you were. Anyway, this email is getting too long. It just seems that I have so much I wanna say to you lately, but I gotta go. Take care M. I love you He Wrote: you BETTER email me when you get in or I'm coming to your house! DO NOT abandon me like everyone else F. I need you in my life. From: ME To: HIM Subject: RE: ... Abandon? I dont understand. Why do you need me in your life? He Wrote: You make me smile. U're a good woman From: ME To: HIM Subject: RE: ... I appreciate that but you dont want me like I need you too. HE Wrote: I honestly think it will get to that F. But if you don't want that I understand. Just don't leave me. From: ME To: HIM Subject: RE: ... As much as I want to say I will wait for you, the more my mind says I cant. No, you go on and give your relationship your full attention. If it doesnt work out and you think you want to try to have something with me, call me. Until then, as much as it hurts me, we should stop communicating. He Wrote: I WILL NOT stop communicating with you! I WILL NOT! I need you in my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! From: ME To: HIM Subject: RE: ... Im not abandoning you. I feel like I should allow you to figure out what you want and need. He Wrote: I'm not liking this
paige367 Posted June 24, 2006 Posted June 24, 2006 Yikes!! That got a bit scary at the end, didn't it. I guess the question is what do YOU want to do? It sounds like you want to shut the door completely so I would not answer his emails or calls. If you want to keep the door open a little, then I would answer calls but that's all until you feel ready for more. In my opinion, he can't have his girlfriend and you waiting around too. If you think there's a chance he will actually come to your house and do you harm then contact the police.
Author liciabug Posted June 24, 2006 Author Posted June 24, 2006 Thanks for the advice paige367. Ive seen alot of threads that you've responded to. I really value your opinion. I tried to put on a good front in the email. I have been a mess for the last couple of weeks.I love him very much and he's said that he loves me as well. He wont admit to even seeing someone else. I dont get it. If that's where he want's to be, why wont he let me go. I try not to email, but then HE does and asks what's wrong, why wont I respond and then it starts all over again. I am going to try full NC. My mind knows I should move on, but my heart is not listening. I feel like I had him and even though he wasnt perfect, I feel like I pushed him away with my critical attacks and NOW I should give him the opportunity to see that I understand what my issues were and it could be different if we got a second chance. Maybe I should learn from my mistakes because I dont know if we can actually come back from all of this. Thanks again
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