jessssss Posted June 23, 2006 Posted June 23, 2006 not sure where i should put this...jealousy but we're dating..but.. anyway, here goes... so i found out that my bf is using his myspace account...he has 4 friends, all girls. 2 of which are in our hometown. one of them is really hot and the other is a stripper kind so i'm sure he isn't trying to be friends with her and the other i think they went to hs together. i saw the message that was on and this girl wanted to chat and asked whereh e lived and she wanted to hang out. i won't know what he wrote until she writes back so i can see the reply...i think that's how it works, anyway the only reason i was on his myspace is cause i use it to look at my other old friends pics....i don't want my own account cause i dotn' want some people to find me, lol anyways, waht do i do? i have the right to look at his account but did i have the right to read his thigns and i'm sure he's forgotten that i even know his password as we haven't talked about it in forever...what do i do?? waht if he tells this girl he wants to chat?? is that a red flag? we've been together for over a year and living together in a house we bought together....wedding plans have been discussed...is this a simple just bored and wanting to chat or would it go too far? i'm pissed. i'll be honest. and if he ever saw i did that, he would be pissed too...i know that chatting is innocent but c'mon...this is weird... anyone??? i don't want this to ruin my weekend
Walk Posted June 23, 2006 Posted June 23, 2006 I haven't used myspace in a while now... but I remember there being a way to view the messages sent. You had to go to the message area, and then it had a list of stuff on the side, I think. Like In and Out. Don't remember now.. When I had myspace, I had about 50/50 split of guy's/girls. I never told my bf I had the account. Only guys I had on as friends were people I'd known for the past 15 years. We sent messages back and forth, but it was strictly as friends. Beyond platonic. Wasn't me trying to hook up with someone else. Just people I didn't see much, and wanted to keep in touch with. Not that I wanted to be in their pants, or do anything other than message them one in a while. Couple guys messaged me some flirty emails that I never responded to. I didn't delete them.. probably should've, but I wasn't going to take them up on the offer... I would say check if you can find the sent messages. Keep your eye on it for a while, and if anything you don't like pops up, then confront the issue. You didn't seem to give any reasons in the past for why you shouldn't trust him. It might be innocent, and the girl is taking it too far by asking questions. Stripper might be a male ego thing. Most the guys on there have a zillion listed as their "friends". I think those girls go out of their way to ask every guy to be their friend, just so they can say they have 45678987654 friends. Has his behavior, or mentality changed lately? Anything else out of the ordinary been happening?
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted June 23, 2006 Posted June 23, 2006 If you are getting married, and already living together, you should be able to talk to each other about anything, right??? So ask him about it. He has no reason to get defensive unless he is hiding something. Tell him you weren't snooping, it just popped up and you read it. At this stage in your relationship there should be no secrets. If there are then hard as it may be you need to rethink where it is going.
SmoochieFace Posted June 23, 2006 Posted June 23, 2006 If you are getting married, and already living together, you should be able to talk to each other about anything, right??? So ask him about it. He has no reason to get defensive unless he is hiding something. Tell him you weren't snooping, it just popped up and you read it. At this stage in your relationship there should be no secrets. If there are then hard as it may be you need to rethink where it is going. I agree. This doesn't sound good at all. If he insists on being secretive and having all of these *friends* then it's time for you to rethink your marriage plans as he doesn't appear to be suitable marriage material.
Author jessssss Posted June 26, 2006 Author Posted June 26, 2006 well, i never mentioned it over the weekend, wanted to see where it went. could possibly just be a friend thing like walk mentioned and i'm known for reading into things. if it goes any further i have decided to approach him and i will know from his reaction. as far as marriage material or not? i'm definitely not going to base whether or not he is marriage material on a myspace account. i'll see where this goes. i am a jealous person but i do not think he would stray from me. i haven't ever been given any reason to think this.
luckystarr1182 Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 Haha... I would totally spy. Mostly because I'm nosy and jealous.. good thing my current man thinks it's sexy lol! Once I was seriously involved with this businessman who was doing some shady stuff on his laptop with myspace/ facebook/ other chatting resources. I totally put a program on his machine to read his every keystroke. (We had been looking at engagement rings and houses, etc.) If I hadn't spied and found out that he was having sex with a stripper, we would probably be married and he'd still be cheating-- and I would end up divorced in a matter of years. As I always say, do what you gotta do.
Author jessssss Posted June 30, 2006 Author Posted June 30, 2006 yeah, it's just like i'm doign a screening process, for hte lack of a better term. so far he's not exchanged numbers but just creating a friendly chat....nothing has been said that i should get mad at with this girl and the other girls that are on his friends are those trashy women who have like 3thousand friends! lol i'm not too worried about that...other problems at hte moment but i'l post somewhere else...
ashnicole Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 Ask him about it. Be honest with him. If he gets all defensive and pissy pants about it, then you know that there might be more going on. -shrug- If not, and he shrugs it off... then you don't have anything to worry about. But come on, you guys live together, he obviously wants to be serious with you... give him a little bit of credit. When/if something else happens, then maybe you should start getting a little worried, but until then, I just say confront him with it & be honest.
Mary3 Posted July 1, 2006 Posted July 1, 2006 not sure where i should put this...jealousy but we're dating..but.. anyway, here goes... so i found out that my bf is using his myspace account...he has 4 friends, all girls. 2 of which are in our hometown. one of them is really hot and the other is a stripper kind so i'm sure he isn't trying to be friends with her and the other i think they went to hs together. i saw the message that was on and this girl wanted to chat and asked whereh e lived and she wanted to hang out. i won't know what he wrote until she writes back so i can see the reply...i think that's how it works, anyway the only reason i was on his myspace is cause i use it to look at my other old friends pics....i don't want my own account cause i dotn' want some people to find me, lol anyways, waht do i do? i have the right to look at his account but did i have the right to read his thigns and i'm sure he's forgotten that i even know his password as we haven't talked about it in forever...what do i do?? waht if he tells this girl he wants to chat?? is that a red flag? we've been together for over a year and living together in a house we bought together....wedding plans have been discussed...is this a simple just bored and wanting to chat or would it go too far? i'm pissed. i'll be honest. and if he ever saw i did that, he would be pissed too...i know that chatting is innocent but c'mon...this is weird... anyone??? i don't want this to ruin my weekend How it works for some people ( My Space ) : They can and DO hookup ! So if a hot girl is doing more than just saying "Hi ~ Thanks for the Add" and they are getting personal, exchanging pics and talking about MEETING then you have a big problem. Alot of men like to look at the hot girls and thats not a real big problem because men are visual but when they start talking and making plans to meet then you can BET he is fuc**ng around or intends to soon... Do you have a right to read his Myspace account ? I would normally say No to respect his privacy but if you have stumbled upon letters that ask personal questions such as Where do you live ? What is your Phone number ? When can we meet ? These are BIG red flags he intends to play around and in that case YES you should read the next email. DO NOT tell him. Just be sneaky...Afterall he is being sneaky and might cheat on you....so...
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted July 13, 2006 Posted July 13, 2006 Haha... I would totally spy. Mostly because I'm nosy and jealous.. good thing my current man thinks it's sexy lol! Once I was seriously involved with this businessman who was doing some shady stuff on his laptop with myspace/ facebook/ other chatting resources. I totally put a program on his machine to read his every keystroke. (We had been looking at engagement rings and houses, etc.) If I hadn't spied and found out that he was having sex with a stripper, we would probably be married and he'd still be cheating-- and I would end up divorced in a matter of years. As I always say, do what you gotta do. This was how I got caught....the first time.
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