Woggle Posted June 23, 2006 Posted June 23, 2006 I was in court today and the ex pled guilty to every charge for a lesser sentence. She will still do at least a year and she will be sentenced monday. I know this sounds crazy but I actually felt somewhat bad for her. I know she brought this on herself but her life is ruined. This will be on her record for life. What was she thinking? She didn't even look like the same woman I met a decade ago in court today.
Pink Amulet Posted June 23, 2006 Posted June 23, 2006 Hmmm, I am intrigued what was the brief background for this?
Author Woggle Posted June 23, 2006 Author Posted June 23, 2006 Hmmm, I am intrigued what was the brief background for this? We were divorced after she cheated on me then after the divorce she had a change of heart and wanted me back. I refused to take her back because the trust was broken and for a while she seemed to accept it. After I got engaged to another woman she went over the deep end and ended up shooting at my house. Next monday she gets sentenced for that crime.
Pink Amulet Posted June 23, 2006 Posted June 23, 2006 looks like you are right, she did deserve what she got. But, I understand your feelings of sympathy. Just don't blame yourself, if it wasn't you it would have been some one else. This is her mental instability, something that unfortunately became evident in a dangerous way. I hope you have much better luck with your fiance!
Author Woggle Posted June 23, 2006 Author Posted June 23, 2006 looks like you are right, she did deserve what she got. But, I understand your feelings of sympathy. Just don't blame yourself, if it wasn't you it would have been some one else. This is her mental instability, something that unfortunately became evident in a dangerous way. I hope you have much better luck with your fiance! She does deserve this but I know one day she will look back and regret it. I know I will have better luck with my fiance. She has stuck by me through this whole ordeal even though she was probably in danger herself.
Craig Posted June 23, 2006 Posted June 23, 2006 What ever she did, she did as a free woman, with premeditation and a callous disregard for life and property. It was her choice to do the crime and now she must pay the price. Maybe this is her "education" and/or wake up call that she can't get away with doing anything she wants? I understand how you felt bad for her, it is a sad situation but what other choices are there? Someone could have been killed, your financee could have been killed. No. I think the outcome was the best she could expect. Thank you for reporting her in the first place. Some people might not have reported the shooting and then she'd be thinking "hey I just shot out Woggle's window...I wonder what else I can do to him and get away with?"
blind_otter Posted June 23, 2006 Posted June 23, 2006 I felt the same way when my ex went to prison, even though he tried to kill my friend in front of me. I felt very ambivalent. On the one hand I know it's not safe for him to be free, at this point, and I plan on moving out of state before his release date in 4/5 years. But I can't help but feel like, even though he used me as a tool in his own downfall, even though he could have chosen a different path, I almost wish like I could go back in time and just erase myself from his life. But in retrospect, he was a ticking time bomb. Anyone who choses to react with violence when they don't get their way, would do that to any person they were with, and it's just f***ed up sad coincidence that you happened to be the person that she fixated on.
RecordProducer Posted June 23, 2006 Posted June 23, 2006 I know this sounds crazy but I actually felt somewhat bad for her. It doesn't sound crazy. I feel bad for my ex-husband. When he left me with 2-year old twins, jobless, he said: "Go find a job!" He lost his job a few years later and now has a problem finding employment (he finds some, but they all suck). I feel bad for him. He doesn't have a woman and I feel bad for him about that too. He didn't want to let the kids move to the US with me, although he knew it was a much better country for them, plus they've lived with me their whole lives... In short, he could've screwed up my whole life if I couldn't take the kids. I had a legal right to have them, but because I was not a citizen of the country where I lived and he was, I was afraid that they might ask for his signed approval at the border. So I made a certain combination to avoid any risk and it worked. We all lived in a very stressful period not knowing if the kids would be allowed to get out of the country. He could have submitted for custody at the last minute. We hid that we were going to the US even from the kids, cuz they'd tell him. Anyway, it was not a good mental state I was in, I wouldn't have moved without my kids. And now I feel bad that he lost the kids. I even feel bad about my sister-in-law and she is very happy and did some s*** to me and gossips about me everywhere. I feel bad for her cuz if she has the need to eliminate me, she must be very petty and miserable on the inside. I see that she's all stressed out because of my existence and I feel sorry for her, although I did nothing bad to her and she started the whole family campaign against me (4 family members started ignoring me and my children completely because of her).
Becoming Posted June 23, 2006 Posted June 23, 2006 Compassion has to consider all concerned, not just some. If we let our compassion get the best of us for those who are clearly beyond the limits, we'll just end up aiding and abetting future violations somewhere with someone else. Good for you, W, et. al.!
basscatcher Posted June 23, 2006 Posted June 23, 2006 It's normal to still have some compassion for someone you once cared about and were involved with. No matter how aweful the person is or has been when we as humans see another so helpless, weak, ruined, and ill we are going to naturally feel some compassion. Even knowing they are mentally ill, sick, ill-logical, niave, arrogant, stubborn, evil, or heartless. Its sad to see another human creature in the lows of life---EVEN if they are guilty. When I had to face my xh in court for assult charges and get a OFP I knew I had to do what I was doing even when I felt bad for him at the moment. (my xh has mellowed out, but he's still an idiot and hasn't changed his ways much.) Best of luck with your new life Woggle.
whichwayisup Posted June 23, 2006 Posted June 23, 2006 She obviously is messed up in the head. I really hope for her sake that she gets the help she needs too.
Author Woggle Posted June 27, 2006 Author Posted June 27, 2006 We were in court and she got 2 years and six months but could be out in a year due to good behavior. She deserved what she got but I really wish it did not come to this. When I saw her in court it looked like she knew she screwed up big time. I am glad this chapter is over.
basscatcher Posted June 27, 2006 Posted June 27, 2006 We were in court and she got 2 years and six months but could be out in a year due to good behavior. She deserved what she got but I really wish it did not come to this. When I saw her in court it looked like she knew she screwed up big time. I am glad this chapter is over. Everyone acts and looks as if they understand their errs when caught and punished. The true test of her lesson will be 6 months to a year AFTER she gets out.. Then you will know if she has learned her lesson. (Maybe she will get psychological help while locked up.)
Becoming Posted June 27, 2006 Posted June 27, 2006 Wow, W. You've really been through it. Explains some of your past less-than-rosey posts re: women. :( Blessings for your new life!
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