theobaldsix Posted July 27, 2006 Posted July 27, 2006 SugarPLum, I know what you are going through. I have 14 and 13 year old step-daughters. We have been through this and managed to come out OK. My advice-don't wait for your husband. Stand up for yourself! The next time a situation arises, immedialtely let these kids know you are an adult and will not be treated with disrespect. You treat them respectfully and will not accept anything less. It also helps to use the phrase, "I am NOT going anywhere. You and I need to communicate. Things don't get better because you are snotty to me or despise me, they only get worse. You can either behave yourself and act as you want to be treated and who knows, we may be good friends or you can continue and make yourself miserable. I will NOT let you make me miserable". These children thrive on having control, I think. They have lost control over who their parents marry, where and when they visit and so on. So for us, as step-parents we get the bulk of frustration thrown our way. It's definetly not easy, especially with your husband not supporting you. If you want to stay married, stand up to your stepkids and in the end you'll be happier for it. I was! Trish
Author sugarplum Posted July 27, 2006 Author Posted July 27, 2006 SugarPLum, I know what you are going through. I have 14 and 13 year old step-daughters. We have been through this and managed to come out OK. My advice-don't wait for your husband. Stand up for yourself! The next time a situation arises, immedialtely let these kids know you are an adult and will not be treated with disrespect. You treat them respectfully and will not accept anything less. It also helps to use the phrase, "I am NOT going anywhere. You and I need to communicate. Things don't get better because you are snotty to me or despise me, they only get worse. You can either behave yourself and act as you want to be treated and who knows, we may be good friends or you can continue and make yourself miserable. I will NOT let you make me miserable". These children thrive on having control, I think. They have lost control over who their parents marry, where and when they visit and so on. So for us, as step-parents we get the bulk of frustration thrown our way. It's definetly not easy, especially with your husband not supporting you. If you want to stay married, stand up to your stepkids and in the end you'll be happier for it. I was! Trish Thank you, for such wonderful advice!
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