Ashly Posted June 22, 2006 Posted June 22, 2006 My husband of 9 years passed away at the beginning of March this year. We were very close; he was my best friend, soul mate, and lover. Since then his best friend and I have talked and he has helped me through all of this and still is. He was on the scene the night my husband died, and was there for me. We did get into an argument about my husband and did not talk for about 2 weeks, this was a month ago. The other night he called me and invited me to a baseball game, when we left he kissed me. I wasn't sure what to say and wasn't upset. When he kissed me it felt good not wrong. Last night he invited me over for dinner and we had sex. I feel extremely guilty to say the least, but I did enjoy it all at the same time. I have no family where I live and my husband and I never had kids together, I am by my self completely. I am not sure what to do in this situation; please any advice would help...
Plato1969 Posted June 23, 2006 Posted June 23, 2006 I say just go with it as long as it feels right for you. He may have admired you from afar since before your husband passed. If he was your husband's best friend, maybe he would have your husband's blessings. I'm sure that most people's last wishes are that their loved ones are well cared for and happy. If he's doing that for you now, enjoy it, but probably shouldn't rush into anything more serious. Keep in mind also, that you may not have had ample time/counseling to recover from such a tragic occurrence in your life. Don't rush, sort out your feelings.
silentcharon Posted June 23, 2006 Posted June 23, 2006 My husband of 9 years passed away at the beginning of March this year. We were very close; he was my best friend, soul mate, and lover. Since then his best friend and I have talked and he has helped me through all of this and still is. He was on the scene the night my husband died, and was there for me. We did get into an argument about my husband and did not talk for about 2 weeks, this was a month ago. The other night he called me and invited me to a baseball game, when we left he kissed me. I wasn't sure what to say and wasn't upset. When he kissed me it felt good not wrong. Last night he invited me over for dinner and we had sex. I feel extremely guilty to say the least, but I did enjoy it all at the same time. I have no family where I live and my husband and I never had kids together, I am by my self completely. I am not sure what to do in this situation; please any advice would help... I am sorry for your loss. I agree with plato, do what feels right and take it slow. If you need to, tell him you are still grieving, even though you enjoy his company, you still need your time and space. If he truly cares about you, he will understand.
KittenMoon Posted June 23, 2006 Posted June 23, 2006 I think your husband would have wanted you to be happy. If you still need to grieve, continue to grieve (we don't know the situation behind the passing, if it was a drawn out process I am considering you may have been grieving long before he passed). If you feel ready to pursue a new happiness, pursue away.
portableversion Posted June 23, 2006 Posted June 23, 2006 He might be using you and taking advantage of your emotional weakness right now...all just to 'get laid.'
Guest Posted June 26, 2006 Posted June 26, 2006 My husband died of a heroin overdose, this came as a shock to all of us. I think that this has been the hardest to deal with because I had no idea. There were some people who knew and did not tell me until it was to late. No one that was close to us family or immediate friends had any idea. I haven’t had this discussion with anyone because I am embarrassed. Everything that I though I knew I now second guess. My husband and I were best friends and hung out all the time together, I should had known but had no reason to suspect this from him. His best friend asked me what me and him were going to do about this; I don't want any of our friends finding out about us right now. This is because they were all friends with my husband and his best friend. I told him that I think that we should do nothing for right now, just hang out with each other and have a good time. Nothing Serious. I do have some feelings for him, even though I told him I didn't. I thought it would make it easier. I'm not sure how he feels about me; I think that I am scared to ask.... Ashly
Recommended Posts