Walk Posted June 22, 2006 Posted June 22, 2006 So.. Yesterday I get a text from my bf only saying he can sympathize with how it would feel to be a woman. Ended with he loves me. I text back asking if this is another bash on my gender, and he says no. He was being serious. I get home from class yesterday, wore out and exhausted. (this gets kind of personal here) Anyway, we're changing in the bedroom and he starts going down on me. I just had too much on my mind for it to go anywhere and I finally stop him because it's just not going to happen. Usually he's awesome going down on me. The best at it. But he didn't seem very focused on what he was doing, and it his beard started hurting me... So I stopped him and tried to pull him close to try something else. He got up, put his clothes on, said he was going to go make some coffee. kissed me on the top of the head and left. Several minutes later I go out and sit on the couch with him. He's obviously upset about something. He asks how class was in this deadpan voice. I gave a very brief overview, and ask about his day. He says "same as usual". Then nothing. Wont touch me, or look at me. I ask if he wants to talk about it. He says no. I get up and do the dishes. Offer to make him dinner. Ask if he needs anything. Ask if he'd like to talk or if he'd rather be left alone. He says he doesn't want to talk. After 10 minutes of dead silence and him just staring at the floor, I tell him I'm going to the other room to work on homework. He says, don't bother, he's going to the bedroom and I can stay out here. He gets up to go to the bedroom. Stops and says he hopes I have a good night. I say ok. He walks off. No usual kiss or hug. Nothing. He left for work before I got up this morning. I haven't heard from him all day. (Not too unusual) But a lot of times if he gets really moody like this he'll text something the next day. Just to let me know it's not me, or that he's sorry he was moody the night before. I'm feeling really hurt by this. Like I did something wrong, but I have no idea what I could've done to cause his mood to change so suddenly. He seemed fine when I walked through the door yesterday. Than wham. It all goes down hill. I don't think it has anything to do with him not getting sex. I think him not being able to make me come is what caused this. But I don't understand why. He's not talking to me though. I keep hitting my head against the wall (figuratively) If I could've just come..... Why does my body betray me? I wanted to... I just couldn't get my head to stop thinking about all the final exams that hit in 4 days. I'm stressed. I couldn't relax. Now he won't talk to me. I always end up feeling punished by the silence. He doesn't see it as punishment, he feels he's dealing with the problem in a "man's" way. He creates distance to deal with his problems. I understand that. But it hurts when he does it. And I get resentful because then I feel that it's no longer him and me solving problems. It's his problems and screw me. He knows I don't feel comfortable coming to him when he gets this way. So any problems I do have I deal with on my own. Plus he's just not available when he gets this way. Which makes me feel like I'm alone. Then I get resentful and angry that he abandoned me. Emotionally left me, without even giving an explaination as to why. Makes me angry and resentful. Is it wrong of me to feel this way? I don't understand this at all. And if I don't understand, then I can't fix it. What the hell do I do? Set aside my feelings on the matter so we can solve his, again. He's stressed about money too, and that doesn't help. But I'm really upset by last night. This really hurt me. And I'm tired of being confused and upset all the time.
Returning Posted June 22, 2006 Posted June 22, 2006 Girl, the man needs to learn some technique. I would recommend aromatherapy, you know an oil burner, some candles and some ylang ylang oil for the burner. Set the mood, fill the bedroom with the fragrance, mix an ylang ylang massage oil, put on some chillin music you like. He needs to learn this, that way he could run you a bath when you get in, give you a nice massage while you tell him (or not) about your day, and getting a shave first wouldn't hurt him. Some nice chocolate, candlelight and the ylang ylang, you'd get your rocks off even if you were facing a firing squad the next day.
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