copper Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 I I still hope he comes back, someday, and I hope that whatever decision I make, it will be the right one. I just feel such a special connection with him, it's inexplicable. I didn't feel it with my last few...and I really don't want to give it up, unless I absolutely have to. Well, I mean, I dont want to give up hope on it, unless I have to, as technically, I'm already without the relationship. I just keep hoping that time will bring us together, if it's what's meant to be... Chin up copper. We will all get through this together, somehow. Seems our stories share too many similarities at times....scary. Jennifer Yes, many similarities indeed! Seems we both experienced a very similar kind of love -- one of respect, admiration and honesty, but with a lack of true commitment. Your paragraph above pretty much states exactly how I feel and at the way I am trying to look at things, though it seems you are a step or two ahead of me in the healing process. I have to say I admire your strength and how honest you are able to be with yourself regarding this situation. Sounds to me things will turn out for the better for you, whether or not you two ever do get back together, because your attitude seems to me to be healthy. You cannot but become a better person once you get through all this. At least there is still love there, at least both of us can walk away with knowing that we are loved and that we love. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AriaIncognito Posted June 28, 2006 Author Share Posted June 28, 2006 Yes, many similarities indeed! Seems we both experienced a very similar kind of love -- one of respect, admiration and honesty, but with a lack of true commitment. Your paragraph above pretty much states exactly how I feel and at the way I am trying to look at things, though it seems you are a step or two ahead of me in the healing process. I have to say I admire your strength and how honest you are able to be with yourself regarding this situation. Sounds to me things will turn out for the better for you, whether or not you two ever do get back together, because your attitude seems to me to be healthy. You cannot but become a better person once you get through all this. At least there is still love there, at least both of us can walk away with knowing that we are loved and that we love. I'm not as healthy as I seem. I just laid in bed for 30 minutes and now all of a sudden I'm in the middle of an anxiety attack because I got to thinking that maybe he has someone else already that he's with. He's not online much anymore except really late at night, if at all, and he wasn't on all weekend. But then I think to myself that that is dumb, because he hasn't been looking for someone else, and he cried a lot at our break up. I can't imagine a man that would move on to someone else that quickly would have cried so hard, but there you are for irrational feelings. Now I'm all because I've conjured up in my mind that he could be having the time of his life with someone while I pine for him. And that, is a sh*tty feeling. I need to stop it. It's not healthy. Jennifer Link to post Share on other sites
copper Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 Maybe you (and me!) need to delete his online presence so you dont have to wonder about this stuff quite as much. About an hour ago I finally took him out of my myspace top 8, so it will be much harder to keep checking his profile all the time. I am going to watch Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind now. The ex and I saw this movie together when we first started dating, and for some reason the movie affected me deeply. I was silently crying through the whole movie (of course I hid it from him) out of happiness that I had met him. Something about the movie had deep bearing on our relationship and our timing -- doesn't make sense but I dunno really how to explain it. While submitting myself to watching this movie might sound like a good way to torture myself, I see this movie as the front cover of the book of our relationship, and now it shall be the last page. A dramatic gesture to myself of sorts. I wonder how I'll view the movie this time. Link to post Share on other sites
rugbyrob1990 Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 Cooper you give very good advice and I think you make Jennifer feel better...Me too! I just want to say hang-on today and we will talk tonight! I'm starting to feel much better almost a sence of freedom from her grasp..YAHOO:bunny: TALK TONIGHT Link to post Share on other sites
lonely_me Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 That was a nice thread, very supportive.. when are they gonna make teleporters!! Then we could all meet in a REAL chat room! A lounge perhaps! Link to post Share on other sites
Teacher's Pet Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 I'm in the exact same boat as you guys..... I now haven't seen my ex in 2 weeks exactly, and NC for 8 days. Yesterday, I had a notion that she would contact me (Sundays were always a "together" day for us), but.......nothing....... She did appear online in the evening for a few minutes, and I was DYING to IM her....but I didn't........ at least I know she was alone last night (she never goes out late at night, and NEVER stays overnight anywhere, because of her dog)..... and just think, she could have been with me. The man who loved her, supported her, and nutured her through a lot of personal stress and anxiety.......whom she fell out of love with. I know deep down I'm getting stronger, but it still hurts when I think about how much fun we had together, all we shared...... going out to dinner, cooking for each other, snuggling on her couch watching movies, and of course, the INCREDIBLE sex we used to have...... best I ever had It was like dating a nymphomaniac...... Now I wonder where she's getting her "fix" from...... if anyone right now...... I'm trying. I REALLY am. It's great to know that I'm not alone, and that I've made some great new friends on here. I wish we could all just suddenly get together for breakfast right now -tp Link to post Share on other sites
rugbyrob1990 Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 Hi Jennifer, how are thing going now...I hope to get an update...Rob Link to post Share on other sites
Author AriaIncognito Posted July 3, 2006 Author Share Posted July 3, 2006 Well, I've given up about 99% of the hope I had. I had a talk with him yesterday for 90 minutes where I basically made him tell me where he saw this going, friends, or lovers. He said friends, that he didn't think he was ready for an "us". I have no choice but to move on. He'll regret his decision, and when he does, hopefully, i'll have moved on with someone 10 times better. Or at least that's what i'm trying to sell myself on currently... We shall see. I'm depressed today, but that's to be expected when you start letting go of hope. Jennifer Link to post Share on other sites
rugbyrob1990 Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 GOOD! I never liked that guy anyway, hes a looser! I'm sad that your sad however, but maybe now that you know you can start to move on... I'll move to Jersey and we can start dating! oh lucky you..LOL:p I know this is so hard and your at work but its going to get so much better, i'm now on day 11 and it was all I could do not to drive by her house yesterday... well actually I did and I think she may have saw me... Yikes! Oh well, love has not boundries I think now I may have crossed it... I really don't think she's dating anyone else, she just doens't want me... Keep us posted throught out the day today Jen on how your doing,, I pulling for ya..Rob:) Link to post Share on other sites
trillium Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 Oh Jennifer….I know that’s not the answer you wanted. I’m sorry things aren’t moving the way you had hoped. It does sound like you have gotten the closure you needed. 99% is a pretty firm number. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AriaIncognito Posted July 4, 2006 Author Share Posted July 4, 2006 Well, I could certainly lower the number, if I allowed my brain to do so. However, I've raised it, for my sake. I need to move on. I need to get on with my life and be happy. It's not going to be easy, but I know I've done it before. I just need to try to not let the bad times get me down too much. I went out tonight with a group of people to see fireworks and had a great time (right teachers pet? ;-) -- dragged his ass with me). While there, was talking to a guy who is in his 50s. He said it took him half of his life, to realize he shouldn't be spending time worrying about the little s***, that life is too short to live even one day depressed, that you should do something every day to make yourself happy. He's so right, we really should. Now, I know I"ll post here tomorrow or sometime and be all down in the dumps again, but as of right this very minute, I was driving home from the fireworks and thinking to myself that my ex must not be the one, because he isn't here with me now and I'm not sure I could accept him if he were to come back, because he'd have a lot of begging and proving to do, and well, it might not even be worth the trouble. So, I'm doing my best to move on. It's going to suck. I'm going to have bad days. But, I'm also hoping to have some good days intermixed, and eventually, I hope that there's more good ones than bad ones. This post has apparently been brought to you by optimistic Jenn. I'm sure pessimistic Jenn will return sometime soon LOL. Jennifer Link to post Share on other sites
Teacher's Pet Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 Heck yeah, Jennifer! I had a GREAT time with you and the others yesterday. Thank you so much for dragging me out of the house.......I, too, didn't want to sit home feeling sorry for myself and all...... You are a complete and total sweetheart..... your ex is an ass for letting you go. xoxo -tp Link to post Share on other sites
trillium Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 This post has apparently been brought to you by optimistic Jenn. I'm sure pessimistic Jenn will return sometime soon LOL. Jennifer LOL.....I know. I'm there too riding the waves up and down. But hey, at least there's some movement. We're going somewhere. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AriaIncognito Posted July 4, 2006 Author Share Posted July 4, 2006 pessimistic jenn is indeed back today. Crying. Depressed. It's wonderful. Ugh. happy 4th me... lol Jennifer Link to post Share on other sites
Teacher's Pet Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 Hey... I met optimistic Jenn yesterday. She's kinda cute. Where is she? -tp Link to post Share on other sites
Author AriaIncognito Posted July 4, 2006 Author Share Posted July 4, 2006 She got the s*** kicked out of her by pessimistic jenn lol Jennifer Link to post Share on other sites
Teacher's Pet Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 I say let me beat the crap outta pessimistic Jenn. Optimistic Jenn rocks. Link to post Share on other sites
Diver012 Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 hehe A chick fight! Cool! Link to post Share on other sites
Teacher's Pet Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 LOL I'm a guy. I have no shame. I will beat the crap outta pessimistic Jenn if it will let optimistic Jenn hang out more. Link to post Share on other sites
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