She replied with Indifference... wat now?

[RealBroken]

Ok, short story, she was very upset crying etc over our breakup. She dumped me though. She text for a week sayin she missed me etc. Until she started goin out with another guy. We were together 7 months and very inlove. Hard for me to understand.

 

I sent an email....went like this

 

"Ex,

Could I have my Memory Course and book back please. I need it back.

Just post to Mum and Dads at xxx,xxx,xxx

Or let me know where I can collect it in XXX.

RealBroken"

 

 

This was her reply;

 

I can send it to your parents or you which ever is easiest[FONT=Arial]Wow, short and sweet. Kinda gutting )

 

The last she knew i was living at my parents while i was findin a job. She has no idea if im stil with them in another town or in her home town now

Im now livin in her home town (my origional home town)

 

I feel she's obviously diggin for info, oterwise she would have just sent it to my parents or left it somewhere for me in our hometown.

 

She's replied with a question and she's been very either "cold" or "indifferent" about it.

I havent done anything wrong by the way.

 

How should I reply....... the same way she did like "just deliver to parents

 

or "Ex,

Easiest if you deliver to mum and dads as they need the stuff, thansk for that, appreciated, from realbroke"

 

or WHAT??? More ??? or less???

 

I am slowly moving on........

but what i want to do,...... is make myself approachable.... friendly enough for her to not be too scared to call, if ever she does want to reconcile.

 

Please no messages about "forget the b*tch, move on etc" thanks

[The slayer]

I think she probably is trying to let you know, she doesn't know where you will be.

 

I guess she is trying to be cooperative, but reluctant to get into a conversational tone.

 

Personally if I were her I'd find all the xxxxxx in your email a litle threatening and wouldn't want to get into any debate in case it all got painful.

 

Remeber how you ex of 9 years felt? This recent ex is probably feeling the same.

 

Just a thought but maybe next time you email her try leaving off the kisses and see if that helps you get the kind of response you are looking for

[RealBroken]

Ha ha,..... the XXXXX's were in place of my address, her name and my name! he he.

 

Yes I can see where ur coming from, ha ha,..... but there were NO kisses in the email to her. (;

 

Would like to hear some more advice on this.......

how should i reply etc

Thanks

[The slayer]

Lol! See all us girls are a bit thick!, maybe you should ask your ex/ex for some advice? Sounds like she's been there herself and knows you really well?

 

Maybe you could try to lower the emotional stakes.

 

I disagree totally with some of the posts on here about the best way to get someone back is to make them think you don't care.

 

I would guess it would be a good idea to to try and let her know you do care, but that you are ok with it and you accept her reasons. I know this isn't entirely true, but it will help her to feel more able to communicate with you without feeling guilty.

Guilt is a terrible emotion it makes us all behave really badly.

 

You could try something along the lines of ...,I'm sorry I have made this hard for you, I haven't meant to make a difficult situation more difficult but it was all a bit of a shock.....blah blah blah.

 

It won't give you an instant response but it may open up some channel of communication which is what you need.

 

If you get that far you will then have to thnk carefully about who, she is, how she reacts to siuations, what she has said in the past to try and work out what she is TRYING to say rather than what she is actually saying.

 

Most of us rarely manage to precisely say what we really mean at the best of times, never mind the worse.

 

Best of luck, but just don't push her be patient if you really want her back it's worth waiting. This other man probably wont be around for long rebounds rarely are.

[RealBroken]

I did attempt to send her a card a couple of days after i saw her with the new guy (a week after the breakup),,,,,(after i said what i thought of her ie shallow)........ it may have hurt i dunno but was givingf her the facts..........anyway, after that i sent a card just saying,..... hey ur decisions are urs and as long as ur happy, as a friend im here for ya always, goodluck with everything.

Well she threw it back in my face by demanding that i dnt contact her again. Why i dont know, i hadnt pushed or anything, in fact she was the one that had been contacting me all the time by texts, mind u was probably before she got serious with this guy.

Anyway, thats why im treading carefully. i dont want to be kciked in the teeth again, or ignored.

 

I dont think i should talk about there being "no hard feelings"..... its just bringing up 'us' and our 'relationship' again. I think I need to somehow show her there are no hard feelings. I dont know if i can while being totally indifferent.

Plus when i was 'indifferent with my first email.........she was indifferent back.

[donpepot]

man..sorry but i have to make this short and to the point..because im rushing some things... been kinda busy

 

 

dont contact her...just leave it that way..dont reply...

when both of you talk again or whatever...keep the balance of friendly and being indifferent...

remember that you have to project that...you dont giv a sht anymore that she dumps you..and youre being friendly because you dont have any grudges with her either..your being indifferent because she has no string over you any more....... your confident and can live and having a good time without her...

 

whatever damn reason she has for leaving you its always to the damn point that she LOST INTEREST...build your attraction backup....

if your hotter that his dude...she will regret dumping you..

if she realize taht yur more valuble she will regret dumping you...

[RealBroken]

But she's asked me where to send my stuff????

 

She has no address

 

I should reply.

 

I've moved back to hers and mine (hometown)

 

She's guessin ive done that but doesnt know for sure..... and she has no idea on an address to send to me..... thats what she's askin for.... otherwise she'll send to my parents.

 

I dont mean to have a big head...... but I'm way hotter than the guy she's with now..... ha ha ha....... but obviously it takes more than that.... but holy s***,.... talk about step down. Just tellin the truth coz no-one knows me here (:

[Guest]

Wow. I've read through all your posts. The love you have for this woman is a selfish love. Yes, completely selfish. You need to recognize that. The next woman will be more of a selfless love and it will be a much stronger bond. Tell this one exactly what you think of her. Let her learn responsibility. When I went through this same selfish love I am seeing and she did the EXACT same thing I closed it out nice and simply. Believe me, I felt great and never looked back.

 

Cole's notes - I told her she was a selfish coward. I told her to f*** off and leave it at that. It was hard because yes I cared, but it had to be done. I didn't hear a peep from her for 5 years. 5 years later, she apologized to me, and thanked me for the kick in the ass that she deserved because although it hurt her 'feelings' it opened her eyes to the world around her not too far down the road.

[slinkysu]

do you need the books back?

 

in which case just give her an address to send them to. End of.

 

If she broke up with you and is being short in her emails chances are she is aiming at building a new life for herself and right now doesn't want to give you the false impression of a deeper relationship to exist between the two of you.

 

It's hard, i know, but she is moving on and you just have to let her.

 

If you need the books - tell her where to send them - but dont try and read anymore into it than that. You contacted her, asked her for the books, she said fine, where do i send them? it doesn't appear as though there is anything more than that in it, and to read anything into it will only add to your heartache.

 

Get the books back and move on. There's so much more to look forward to

[donpepot]

But she's asked me where to send my stuff????

 

She has no address

 

I should reply.

 

I've moved back to hers and mine (hometown)

 

She's guessin ive done that but doesnt know for sure..... and she has no idea on an address to send to me..... thats what she's askin for.... otherwise she'll send to my parents.

 

I dont mean to have a big head...... but I'm way hotter than the guy she's with now..... ha ha ha....... but obviously it takes more than that.... but holy s***,.... talk about step down. Just tellin the truth coz no-one knows me here (:

lolz sorry did not notice that,,ok u should reply but be friendly and make it short and to the point..say take care by the way..

[rkman]

Get the books back and move on. There's so much more to look forward to

 

QFT Keep it simple. Tell her only what needs to be said (ie wher to send them) And end it with a nice Goodbye.

[thekhris]

cmon man..like me...you read it too...youre doing everyting right..

you dont need further advice..you know what you have to do...you have my full confidence to you..