wrongsideup Posted June 22, 2006 Posted June 22, 2006 Here a twist to the OW story- heres the VERY short version of the story! "innocently" got involved w/a MM as we all know one thing leads to another & WHAM full blown A. I fell deeply in love with this man as he did me, only prob was that he was married. 2 years into the R his W finds out. A has lasted about 5 years He leaves & comes to live with me. All is very stressful, W calls constantly putting the C on the phone screaming & crying as you can imagine this put more than a damper on our R. We/HE flip-flops back & forth about what he is going to do the kids, the kids.... so we end up with an on again off again R- OFF when he is at HOME Well one of the times we are ON we take a vacation to Las Vegas Sure you can guess we being carefree & looking back quite STUPID we got married again sure you can guess (considering I am here) He is OFF again & we have been off for quite sometime a conversation here & there but not the passion that we once had : ( there has just been too much deceit on both ends. W knows of our wedding So my question to you all is what do I do now??? Is it legal? I want to think no but we have a marriage license so I am not so sure. We never lived as H&W so to speak it was more like he ran to me when the going got tough at home. I know this all sounds crazy but I am not real sure of what to do....if anything.
Tony T Posted June 22, 2006 Posted June 22, 2006 Get an attorney, get out of this mess, go find a nice guy who isn't married and has no ex or kids calling him constantly, and bang him 'til you pop!!!
yesmaybe Posted June 22, 2006 Posted June 22, 2006 No, your marriage is not legal. Your MM has committed bigamy.
bab Posted June 22, 2006 Posted June 22, 2006 Yikes. Bad scenerio. Bigamy is NOT good. You need to see a lawyer QUICK. 5 years is a long time for such drama. Is this what you really want?
Pink Amulet Posted June 22, 2006 Posted June 22, 2006 You need to see a lawyer, a counsellor, and another man. The good thing about this situation, is you are in a position to be able to clean up this mess... he on the other hand is going to have a lot more trouble. Good luck to you.
SoleMate Posted June 22, 2006 Posted June 22, 2006 If the man in question never divorced his wife, then certainly, your putative marriage is null and void. You'll have to go to court to clear this up. In California, if you are seeking a nullity of marriage, you will need to prove in a court hearing that your spouse or partner was knowingly married to another person at the time of marriage. It will be effective the day the judgment is entered, that is, the day the judge signs the judgment. Nullity is much simpler, faster and cheaper than divorce. If he DID divorce his wife, then your marriage probably WAS valid. The fact that your marriage lacks passion, trust or cohabitation is not a legal basis for nullity. To clarify and regularize your situation, you definitely need a lawyer. I would not advise doing anything with property (like buying or selling a house), and certainly not another attempt at marriage, until you figure out what your status is. Do be aware that through marriage, even if it is eventually nullified, you may become liable for some of his debts.
Art_Critic Posted June 22, 2006 Posted June 22, 2006 You need to make a police report first.. Bigamy is a crime..and not a matter resolved thru an attorney As with all crimes, you need to contact your local law enforcement agency and make a crime report. Once you make a crime report to the appropriate law enforcement agency, they will bring it to the prosecutorial agency which has jurisdiction. In the US Bigamy is a felony in 37 states..Punishable with a jail term
Author wrongsideup Posted June 22, 2006 Author Posted June 22, 2006 "You need to see a lawyer, a counselor, and another man" AMEN!!!! Yes he did commit bigamy! He was not divorced from his W So if the marriage that took place between us is null & void why do I need to contact an attorney? Isnt void the same as it never happened? Thing is I feel like anything I do seems like I am doing it out of spite & to tell the truth I would be 1/2 way! We have been through so much & I feel like I have be betrayed & tricked, the thought of making him pay literally is very appealing! The idea to resolve this comes from 1.It NEEDS to be 2. Just to be MEAN Sounds very immature but its the truth! I have been in this emotionally exhausting affair for 5 years I feel like I have used up all of my love, hate....I feel emotional empty & numb. It is horrible! For anyone starting an A- STOP!!! The truth about an affair is it is just that an AFFAIR!!!! You know that in your head but your heart will always find ways to justify & hold on....trust me when I say it causes unbelievable hurt when you realize your heart is full of lies & manipulation.
zarathustra Posted June 22, 2006 Posted June 22, 2006 "You need to see a lawyer, a counselor, and another man" AMEN!!!! Yes he did commit bigamy! He was not divorced from his W So if the marriage that took place between us is null & void why do I need to contact an attorney? Isnt void the same as it never happened? sue his ass? Thing is I feel like anything I do seems like I am doing it out of spite & to tell the truth I would be 1/2 way! We have been through so much & I feel like I have be betrayed & tricked, the thought of making him pay literally is very appealing! The idea to resolve this comes from 1.It NEEDS to be 2. Just to be MEAN Sounds very immature but its the truth! I have been in this emotionally exhausting affair for 5 years I feel like I have used up all of my love, hate....I feel emotional empty & numb. It is horrible! For anyone starting an A- STOP!!! The truth about an affair is it is just that an AFFAIR!!!! You know that in your head but your heart will always find ways to justify & hold on....trust me when I say it causes unbelievable hurt when you realize your heart is full of lies & manipulation. Good luck to you. I feel for you.
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