stillhere Posted June 22, 2006 Posted June 22, 2006 My male bosses and i were talking at work and one boss brought up a friend of his. I asked if he was cute, or handsome. He goes "I don't know, he's a guy!" I then told him that i have no problems telling them if a girl is gorgeous, or hot, or pretty, or whatever. I tell it like it is. When pretty girls come into work, i let my bosses know so they can wait on them. I guess it's easier than a stampede after the girl walked in and i get trampled on! All 3 of us are pretty close, so we talk about some things that most wouldn't talk about at work, but i can't get them to answer this question! So why is it that men are afraid of saying if another man may be attractive to a female. It was almost like he thought that i would think he was gay or something of that sort. Really, i just wanted to know if he was attractive, not if my boss wanted to sleep with him! Any opinions on this?
paige367 Posted June 22, 2006 Posted June 22, 2006 Very good question. My theory is that they think their hetrosexuallity is challenged if they comment on a guy's looks. They are afraid that eveyone will think they are gay if they say a guy is good looking. Any other theories?
Tasteslikechicken Posted June 22, 2006 Posted June 22, 2006 I have no problem commenting to be honest. If others want to take the p.ss and then think that it makes me gay or whatever then that's up to them and maybe they should have a long hard look at themselves coz clearly they're no comfortable with their own sexuality, where I am
alphamale Posted June 22, 2006 Posted June 22, 2006 So why is it that men are afraid of saying if another man may be attractive to a female. mainly cause most men don't know (or care) which other dudes are attractive to women.
SmoochieFace Posted June 22, 2006 Posted June 22, 2006 It's not an issue of being afraid. Some guys just don't care as was stated earlier. Really... how many *straight* guys are gonna examine another guy's facial features, clothes, physique, etc. and evaluate whether they are good-looking or not? Probably few to none. 1
a4a Posted June 22, 2006 Posted June 22, 2006 This is kinda funny to me because the guys I hang out with not only rate women buy calling them Hot or Troll like, but they all seem to cut up on other guys.....even each other. They make up names like : Toof (bad teeth), coke bottles (thick glasses), Fro boy (bad hair), Chunk (fat), Meat Loaf (fat, but this is mine they just use it ), Hair clubber (bald).......... and the list goes on and on..... But I have never heard them say "he is a nice looking guy"....... so in a way the group of 10 plus guys that I regularly hang with do rate other men but in a not so nice way.
thegoodhubbie Posted June 22, 2006 Posted June 22, 2006 As is usually the case, most things in life relate to Seinfeld, to wit: Elaine: "Oh, come on, can't you admit to finding beauty in in a man?" Jerry: "No. I find them repugnant and unappealing." Nuff said.
Pyro Posted June 22, 2006 Posted June 22, 2006 This is kinda funny to me because the guys I hang out with not only rate women buy calling them Hot or Troll like, but they all seem to cut up on other guys.....even each other. They make up names like : Toof (bad teeth), coke bottles (thick glasses), Fro boy (bad hair), Chunk (fat), Meat Loaf (fat, but this is mine they just use it ), Hair clubber (bald).......... and the list goes on and on..... But I have never heard them say "he is a nice looking guy"....... so in a way the group of 10 plus guys that I regularly hang with do rate other men but in a not so nice way. Sounds to me as though some guys fear possible competition, so name calling is their only means of defense.
starter_70 Posted June 22, 2006 Posted June 22, 2006 Women by nature are very territoral beings, two very attractive people cannot co-exist together. Because of this reason women never really keep girl-friends for a long time they always end up in fights. I illustrated this point because the main reason girls "check out" other girls is because they want to see if someone cutier than them is moving into thier territory. Another point is that girls almost always base thier decsions on the second opinion of other people. Ex:The infamous question "Do you think this dress makes me look fat?" Now I illustrated this point because mainly all guys inside now that girls do this and because they do guys wont say to a girl if they think another guy is hot or not cause they fear that if they say yes then they too have competion, but trust me guys check out other guys too, its just that we do it very differently..hope this helps solve your long time debate...
Author stillhere Posted June 22, 2006 Author Posted June 22, 2006 Women by nature are very territoral beings, two very attractive people cannot co-exist together. That is so true about me, i'm very territorial! The guys tease me cuz, well, i'm the only girl there, so i'm lovin every moment. If another girl wants to go out to the bar with us, i simply say i'm not going. Now, they say........"no other girls can go out with us, we can't have any other females pissin on (still here's) tree stump"! LOL I love my boys, but i just don't understand why they can't say "yeah, he's not bad looking". I even asked if the friend had exgf that were cute, and he said "i guess". Maybe that is the answer, cuz i know he'll tell me when a girl is good looking.
scrybe74 Posted June 23, 2006 Posted June 23, 2006 I'm a guy and I know most guys would never comment on a guys looks. Mostly because we don't care and never think to look at a guy as to whether he's attractive/cute/handsome. We DO look at what kind of car he has, how strong he is, can he take a punch, can he shoot some decent pool/basketball, etc. We are more interested in another man's skills compared to ours or what he has (house, car, money, surround sound, etc.) So naturally we don't think about it. That being said the older I get the more comfortable I am with giving a girl my opinion about a guy's appearance. But even then it depends on how it's asked. If you asked me whether a guy was cute or handsome I couldn't tell you. You're asking me to look at him from a woman's perspective. I can tell you in a very generic way if a guy is 'good looking' or not. Basically...if you asked me what I thought of a guy - leaving it open - I would respond - " He's a pretty good looking guy I suppose" (which means I think he wouldn't have any problem attracting women) or " That dude is butt ugly" (self explanatory) - or " eh...he looks average" (I really don't have any opinion on him. He looks like any other guy on the street to me). I guess the whole gay thing may have something to do with it but really I think the truest answer is that we just don't look at men the way women look at men and othe women.
7on Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 Obviously it's because in comparison to me all other guys look hideously grotesque.
blind_otter Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 I have no problem commenting to be honest. If others want to take the p.ss and then think that it makes me gay or whatever then that's up to them and maybe they should have a long hard look at themselves coz clearly they're no comfortable with their own sexuality, where I am IME men who are secure with themselves have no problem commenting on another man's looks. They obviously don't use the same descriptors they would if it were a chick. I have one guy friend who will freely comment on his buddies' appearances, but he makes this hilarious "gay voice" with a lisp every time he does it.
alphamale Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 IME men who are secure with themselves have no problem commenting on another man's looks. women laugh and make fun of men who comment on another man's attractivness....thats why we don't do it.
jerbear Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 IME men who are secure with themselves have no problem commenting on another man's looks. They obviously don't use the same descriptors they would if it were a chick. I have one guy friend who will freely comment on his buddies' appearances, but he makes this hilarious "gay voice" with a lisp every time he does it. Some people guys and gals are freaked out by it. I've done the you look good in pink on a guy before and got made fun of and even razed back. It is all fun and games but in today's society, it can be construed as a prude, homoprobe, liberal, etc... why put yourself thru that? For some industries, the behavior is not tolerated.
Pink Amulet Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 Well just to contradict a couple posts- I love being around very attractive women. It makes me feel beautiful. I would much rather be in the company of a few stunning females than a bunch of rowdy guys
j.carsey Posted June 26, 2006 Posted June 26, 2006 This reminded me of an another genius Seinfeld quote: Elaine: You know, just admitting that another man is attractive doesn't necessarily make you a homosexual. George Costanza: It doesn't help. - - Yeah interesting thing, often when I watch my female friends' eyes I notice they check out many attractive women that pass by. I think it's because they are checking out their clothes and appearance. Seriously though there have been a few instances where I examine another guy. The main one is for getting tips on fashion and appearance, learning by example. Realistically if you get a sense that a certain man looks good or acts in an impressive way, then women will get the same sense so you might as well figure out what he's doing that works so well. I also try to figure out what it is about particularly unimpressive, or weak looking guys. For example I've noticed that those kind of guys walk with bad posture, make strange bird-like movements with their heads, and have sloppy dressing habits like really poorly fitting articles of clothes.
Author stillhere Posted June 26, 2006 Author Posted June 26, 2006 The boss that won't comment is good looking, tall, well built, adorable smile, all around impressive package. What i did get out of him about his friend (i'm probing for possible dating material here) was that he has red hair, has huge muscles, and is a millionaire. All fine and dandy, but the red hair. Sorry to all you true red heads, but i haven't seen many red heads that were cute. I'm not into pale skin and freckles, that's just not me. That's why i asked if he was good looking. Hey, it is possible. I don't care if he does have money, i can't imagine myself being with someone because they are rich. And of course i'm trying to picture future children, that would more than likely have the red head gene. Seems pretty prominent. (i know, i read way too far into things, that's one of my downfalls. Find the negative first, then glance for the positive) So, the boss has no reason to feel threatened by him, and i guess the ex-girlfriend question can't apply too much, cuz there are a lot of money hungry females out there, that will date someone cuz of their cash flow.
sareb Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 to answer your question, I think it's two things he doesn't want to sound gay and also he doesn't want to say if someone is more attractive than him but my problem is my boyfriend is always labeling anyone with good looks, guy girl whomever it's like yeah your going to meet my cousin he's really handsome or my aunt is gorgeous...I use the family thing b/c it's nonsexual and I just went to a wedding with him but it seems like it's w/ everyone. I'm not insecure, I just think it seems a bit shallow to label and value beauty all the time. Am I wrong?
Author stillhere Posted June 30, 2006 Author Posted June 30, 2006 but my problem is my boyfriend is always labeling anyone with good looks, guy girl whomever it's like yeah your going to meet my cousin he's really handsome or my aunt is gorgeous...I use the family thing b/c it's nonsexual and I just went to a wedding with him but it seems like it's w/ everyone. I'm not insecure, I just think it seems a bit shallow to label and value beauty all the time. Am I wrong? I think it's natural. Everyone is attracted to something particular. For some, it's a woman's breasts, for others it could be lips, teeth, hair, eyes. I love a man with rugged features, not the pretty boy type. That's just me. Some agree, some don't. And i don't think it's shallow at all. I think i'm pretty, so i don't have to worry about what others think. I know what i like, and i'll tell someone if they have something about them that i like. Or point out that someone else is good looking. Let me see, what's a good example..........i'll use my dog. I tell someone that i have a dog. They ask what kind of dog i have, i can't just say "he's a dog", that doesn't answer the question. If i say, "he's a WestHighland White Terrier, he's white obviously and he's small" that would explain my dog. Same goes for when you see someone or are describing someone. You pick out the best or worst features, depending on how you see them. That's just my 2 pennies.
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