Anonymously Curious Posted June 21, 2006 Posted June 21, 2006 I’m dipping my toes into this forum before actually registering, but I have a question to ask before it drives me crazy! Alright, I’m in my 20’s, and there’s this guy I know. We’re at the point where we’re too close to be acquaintances, but not close enough to be considered “friends” yet. We meet each other every so often, and he’s usually quite friendly. In fact, he’s usually a very friendly, outgoing kind of guy. Lately, though, I’ve noticed that when we meet somewhere, he starts giving off all the “signs” that he likes me. And believe me, I can be very pessimistic about this sort of thing! “Oh, he’s not looking at me! See? Whenever I look at him, he looks elsewhere!” “I know it really is an accident that he brushed his hand on mine when I handed him that pen, even though it seemed like it was on purpose, and he was making direct eye contact while grabbing the afore-mentioned pen!” But when things like this(and others) happen constantly, it gets me thinking. So I’ll start to go up to talk to him, shy as I can get. That’s when his attitude changes. He starts telling me not to get too close to him, sometimes adding that it makes him nervous. Sometimes, he’ll get a little meaner about it. Thus shot down, I’ll slink off to another spot of the room/building/space we occupy, feeling rather crappy. Minutes later, however, He’ll come up to me and start a conversation. Sometimes, he’ll joke around with me, sometimes about the previous interaction we had. Sometimes, though, he’ll give me an outright apology for what he said to me. Then we have a regular conversation like nothing happened before. So, what’s going on? Does anyone have any thoughts? Thanks!
paige367 Posted June 22, 2006 Posted June 22, 2006 Perhaps he's one of those guys who wants to do all the pursuiting. They say that guys enjoy the chase. Maybe you should act like you don't even care if he talks to you or not. However, this could be considered "game playing" and I'm not usually an advocate for that. Then again, if he wants to do the chasing....let him. Less pressure on you..
j.carsey Posted June 22, 2006 Posted June 22, 2006 Maybe he's just overly nervous. I tend to apologize to girls I like too often, it sounds ridiculous but it's just me being nervous Any specific reason he may be telling you to stay away? Like maybe he has a girlfriend? Or, um, are you sexually harassing him at work? We must all be professional at work and avoid any kind of inappropriate words, touching, or any other behavior that makes someone feel unwelcome in the work place. These kinds of unwelcome advances are not tolerated in any progressive workplace
Pink Amulet Posted June 22, 2006 Posted June 22, 2006 Or maybe he is bi-polar?! In all seriousness I agree with j.carsey. I would be sceptical.
Anonymously Curious Posted June 22, 2006 Posted June 22, 2006 Thanks for the replies! I've never done anything sexually harassing to this guy. In fact, I've never even shown him that I'm interested in dating! We don't work together, and we don't go to each other's work places. We'll just be at a local event (you know, fairs and the like), and if I go up to have a friendly conversation with him, or even to just say “Hi” to him, that’s when he shoos me off. But if I happen to be on my own and he comes up to me, he’s seems fine and friendly with having a conversation. It’s only when I approach him that he seems to have a problem. He’s usually not mean about it, though I remember one time, he had a lot of problems one day, got kind of rude with me, but then promptly apologized for saying what he did in the way he said it. Any other time, he tries sending me off with a joke, I guess because he likes joking around with people. But when he sees that he said something wrong(even if he meant it as a joke), he comes up to apologize for what he said and then he’ll talk to me for a while. Have I confused anyone yet with this guy’s behavior? Thanks again for all of your help!
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