Diver012 Posted June 21, 2006 Posted June 21, 2006 I started to post this in The "Should Nice Guys Change?" Thread, but I felt like I was Hijacking it... This thread has been very enlightening. I realize that during my relationship with My Ex, there were a few instances where I just rolled the fck over. There were some things going on that bothered me, and although I expressed concern about them, I didnt put my foot down. The criticism about me came around the same time as these other incidents. Suddenly i couldnt drive right, eat right, walk right, clean my house right, dress right, stand up right, ect... little jabs here and there. Little tests is what they really were. I kept getting pushed until 1 day I just looked at her and said, I guess I cant do anything right. It was out of complete frustration. That statement blew her away. and she, stopped. What really did me in though was on a Saturday she called wanting to know if her and her boss could go riding on his Harley. Now this dude is married and much older, so I thought, well... I dont feel comfortable with this but I want her to be happy. She loves riding.... Now this is just a guess, I think that she either went out with someone completely different, or was with this guy and met someone else... I think from that moment forward I was done. If I had let a little bit of jealousy show through... said Hey, I dont want you riding on the back of a Harley with some other guy... I dunno... maybe she wouldnt have lost respect for me. Its hard to judge for men what went wrong in a relationship when the women who dumps them wont tell them why. The "Its nothing you did wrong" speech I got was Bulls***. Being dumped over the phone was Bulls***. Not being given a specific reason was bulls***. Yeah so right now the Gentleman I was trying to be, is now confused into thinking I may have been to Nice. As far as she goes, she can kiss my A$$. I deserved a more adult ending than that. Were both in our 30's for Gods sake.
The slayer Posted June 21, 2006 Posted June 21, 2006 You did deserve a more adult ending. I'm sorry you didn't get it. The way I see it though is seeing as most relationship breakups are probably caused by lack of communication in the first place it's hardly suprising that people (Both men and women) find it difficult to articulate the exact reason they are ending the relationship. Hardly the easiest of times to become expert at seeing the other persons point of view and develop superbly effective communication skills! Hardly the best of times for the person who is being dumped to be perfecting the art of listening to hear what someone is trying to say, rather than what they are actually saying.. Ironically it seems to me that people end up hurting each other the most, when they are trying not to hurt each other!
Author Diver012 Posted June 22, 2006 Author Posted June 22, 2006 You did deserve a more adult ending. I'm sorry you didn't get it. The way I see it though is seeing as most relationship breakups are probably caused by lack of communication in the first place it's hardly suprising that people (Both men and women) find it difficult to articulate the exact reason they are ending the relationship. Hardly the easiest of times to become expert at seeing the other persons point of view and develop superbly effective communication skills! Hardly the best of times for the person who is being dumped to be perfecting the art of listening to hear what someone is trying to say, rather than what they are actually saying.. Ironically it seems to me that people end up hurting each other the most, when they are trying not to hurt each other! Thats a very good point. Ill have to remember that..
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