married man..

[only7201]

I wasn't sure where to post this, and I'm not entirely sure WHY I'm posting this, I think I just want to get it off my chest. And if anyone has anything helpful in the way of advice, it'd be appreciated.

So I'm involved with this guy, and have been for 5 years. We have a mutual friend who we've known for just as long, who got a girlfriend about a year and a half ago (and stopped speaking to us about that time). He married her a couple months ago and joined the military.

Last year, I was home visiting, without my boyfriend, and our friend was home and his girlfriend was in another state visiting family. As it turns out, he's always had a thing for me, and I've always had a little thing for him, and we ended up getting together. A few times. Then I came home, and he called every night and our friendship (and even his and my boyfriends) started right back where it left off and everything was great. He even broke up with his girlfriend when she got back home.

Unfortunately, that lasted about a week, they got back together, and he immediately ceased all conversation with us again. He absolutely would not speak to us anymore, and we both KNOW it's the girlfriend. She has always hated both of us (especially me, and from the beginning, though I was nothing but nice to her) and she's one of the reasons he stopped talking to us to begin with (also my boyfriend was jealous of our relationship and I was blind to the fact that our friend had feelings for me, this was all about the time he got together with his girlfriend).

So we hadn't spoken in months. When we found out he was joining the military, we realized any chance of reconciliation amongst the three of us was not going to happen, cause he'd be traveling, he was now married so girlfriend would be following him around, and when she's around, conversations are monitored. I know this from experience. But when she went on trips or wasn't around, he'd call or come online to talk to me and stuff like that. He'd make comments about what happened between us and then abruptly say he had to go, like he was scared she might overhear him or something.

So anyway, last week I started having dreams about him every single night. Then my brother calls me up and said he had a weird dream about me and him. Then the next day he calls me. Completely out of the blue, calls me because he's through with training and on the first day he was allowed to, he calls. I find this incredibly strange given the way we left things off the last time we spoke. We'd been kind of bickering back and forth about him leaving, getting married, etc. for months, he'd been speaking to my boyfriend too and the 3 of us were just on bad terms. Anyway, so he calls, and I have even more weird dreams and now I can't stop thinking about it. He told me, when we got together last year, that he had had feelings for me for a while, and... well I just don't know what it all means.

It's likely that I'm going to be seeing him in a couple of months and I don't know what to do. I miss him horribly, but at the same time I kind of want to steer clear of the whole situation, as it's already pretty messy. And my relationship has been kind of in the "bleh" department lately, so I think I might just be feeling that and looking for something else instead of trying harder to fix things. Not to mention you know.... married, military, etc. etc. So anyway that's the story. Feel free to comment, lecture, whatever, I just need some objective opinion I think.

[scrybe74]

When you say you two 'got together' do you mean you hung out or you had sex? It's not very clear and it would make a big difference in how to read your story.