Moai Posted June 22, 2006 Posted June 22, 2006 I don't that it's a communication thing, or that he's depressed, or any other Dr. Phil excuse. He's a loser. He may be a nice loser with some good qaulities, but he is a loser just the same. The clothes thing is not shallow AT ALL. Any human being who has even the smallest fraction of self-respect will put on clean clothes. Besides, he should at least try to look presentable and attractive for you, too, seeing as how he wants to get laid at some point, right? If he can't afford to pay his bills and won't help you around the house or whatever, he's a loser. It is one thing to be at a point in life where things are a little rough, but when it becomes habitual it is a problem. I would never borrow money from a woman not in my immediate family. Ever. I'd eat ramen for a year before I'd do that. Just because he is nice to you and doesn't drink or hit you doesn't mean anything. You don't get a pass for doing what everyone should do as a matter of course. Dump him. Whatever his problem, right now you are enabling him, whatever it is, and he has no reason to do anything.
blind_otter Posted June 22, 2006 Posted June 22, 2006 Bite the bullet. I dated a guy who, when we met, had two jobs and his own place. Over a few short months he quit both his jobs, got thrown out of his place by his roommates for not paying rent, and just hung out at my house and at the tattoo shop where his buddies worked and played on the computer all day. I told him to get a job. He didn't. I told him to get his own place, he never got around to it. I ended up kicking him out of my house and buying him a sleeping bag. I said, hey, maybe not having a free place to stay and free food will somehow motivate you to actually take care of yourself. He slept in his car and at friend's houses. Today he is happily married, owns a house, and has a steady job and we are friendly with each other again. He doesn't hold what I did against me, he says it did motivate him to change his life for the better, and I am heartily glad that it did. I feel that, if I had continued to enable him, his life would have continued down the wrong path. JMO.
SmoochieFace Posted June 22, 2006 Posted June 22, 2006 He's a loser. That's harsh and simplistic. I agree with Outcast that there is a POSSIBILITY that he may be depressed. It's better to exhaust all possibilities before concluding that someone is a *loser*. People who are struggling with depression should not be branded as *losers*... that's just wrong.
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