Beee Posted June 21, 2006 Posted June 21, 2006 I warn the readers that have kindly chosen to read my post, its going to be a long story.... Here goes..... 10 years ago I met my boyfriend Will at school. We were together for about a year and then he left for University. Coincidently I ended up at the same university a year later and we got back together. We had some great times and enjoyed eachother's company. Unfortunately the relationship wasn't always full of laughter (I just think we were too young). After about 3 years it turned into this love/hate relationship... every other day was the start of a new argument. In the end he did the brave thing and ended it. Rightly or wrongly we remained very close friends and saw eachother very often. I confess there were times when the freindship did beocme a little more but we never took it further, we were best freinds and FWB. During this time our freindship, and my state of mind, was put under some real pressure. I insited on being a good freind and (although I still had feeling for him) asked him to tell me what was going on in his life. Inevitably I found out about his good times with women and that crushed me. Although I insisted we were only friends I do think he knew I had feelings for him. He eventually moved city (for work) but we still saw eachother pretty much every weekend. All our friends used to ask me why we weren't together... and I always said that we just weren't "in that place". Just over 2 years ago we went for a 2 month trip with another freind of ours. During this trip we re-discovered our love for eachother and ended up getting together again. Since then it has been a happy relationship. He moved back to my city for me and for the past 2 months we've been living together and alone (until now its always been us but with other friends). This was until last Christmas. I realised that maybe things weren't as happy as I thought. I was still batteling with him about silly things like cleaning after himself and trying to generally get him to help around the house. (I know men aren't as picky when it comes to cleaning, but if you know your girlfriend likes the house clean and tidy do you not want to make the extra effort and keep it that way?) This is where my lovely freind George comes into the equasion He split up with his girlfriend just before Christmas and has been spending a lot of time with us. I've known him for about 8 years (since I started univeristy) and lived with him (as a friend) for different periods of time. I have always found him very attractive and we have always flirted with eachother (but in a purely innocent way). This was until January this year. One evening we were saying goodnight and it just happened, we kissed. Since then we have spent LOTS of time together and I have had some very happy moments. This is where my dilemma starts. I have always been someone who believed that you could only have feelings for one person. Its not fair to have a "meaningful" affair with someone if you are in a relationship. All my beliefs have been shattered in the past few months. I have seen George under a different light, he makes me laugh and gives me lots of attention (possibly the attention I lack from Will). He has told me he loves me and wants to spend his life with me. In the past week George has told me that he no longer wants to see me as its too painful to see me go back to Will every day. Once I have made my mind up (whatever the decision) then he has asked me to contact him. I miss him incredibly and can't stop thinking about him. I haven't been able to make my mind up.... or rather I haven't decided how to gently let one of them go. How do I decide? Will has known me for 10 years, knows me inside out and can tell when I'm in a bad mood and what I need. However, he lacks some of the attentions I need. I am a very giving person, and have supported him in many ways in the past few years (helping him to set up his own business, stuck by him when times were dark and low, very low....) but I need something back... I need some support. George on the other hand has always been a good friend. I've known him for years but doesn't know me quite as well as Will. He knows some things about my past but not in detail (e.g. some of the illnesses that gave affected my family). He seems to be very attentive and has told me that he just wants to be able to love me and show the whole world how he feels about me. I have to start thinking about spending the rest of my life with someone (also because George is slightly older than me).... So far, the only option I have come up with, is taking a break from Will for a little while and see how things go. Unfortunately, if I move out the only place I can go is Will's house. I would be staying there as a friend and trying to see what my feelings for Will are. All I know is I care about both of them deeply, and don't want to hurt either of them (although I know that is not possible). I'm want to do the right things but also consider MY happiness (for once). Thanks for reading this VERY long story! Any advise would be really helpful.
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