cynicalnlove Posted June 21, 2006 Posted June 21, 2006 Ok, it's been over six months since me and my ex have had any contact at all. All telephone conversations, emails, instant mess.. all of that. DONE. It was like he came along, made some sort of impact and just dissappeared from my life with a blink of an eye. There are moments when I actually did sacrificed my pride every now and then, every other month we're I've sent an email or phone calls but to only have hang ups or silence in return. Although he was to blame for our endings, I can't help but to feel that he just suddenly died. Without an explanation or an apology. After 2 years of history, he left whenever he thought feasible for him. I've spent months battling with myself of just letting it go. In certain moments I'm fine; and then in certain times there is a part of me that I'm hoping to get that email or to have any sign that he actually did care for me, or the fact that I had lived a lie. I suddenly realized it just now, he's not coming back, he's not going to call, and he is gone. I've done pretty well moving on, but I can't deny that this very thought saddens me. Moving on and having to erase every part of him that was of my last 2 yrs, trying to forget the reason why I fell in love with him, and trying to forget how he betrayed me.. and knowing that all of that is non-existence does truly make me sad. When you know that you've moved on with your life, doesn't it make you think of what could've been? It could've been great or bad, but you'll just ever know because the time has now passed. Do you ever look back in your life, and wonder..
Tony T Posted June 21, 2006 Posted June 21, 2006 People do look back all the time but it's not good for them. Why screw yourself with your mind that way. Heal and move forward. Yes, sometimes it's hard to do but you can make anything happen in your mind. Reality is what counts and reality said it didn't work out. Accept that. If you live inside your head all the time, you will miss out on some great things right in front of you.
Poboy Posted June 21, 2006 Posted June 21, 2006 yes , there are times when you are not doing anything thinking of the past when old memories ome back. Its only when you realise that its over and you are sure , only then are you really going to move on. I went out with ex for 1 &1/2 yrs , one fine day ... she tells me , we cant go on .. consider our thing Over. So I know what it feels like. Best thing now that you have relaised it fully over , you can leave this as experiences of past , cherish the good times and the whole thing and look forward to future
ATrain Posted June 21, 2006 Posted June 21, 2006 Yes -I tend to look back and try to analyze and figure out why she didn't want to stay. It's been 4 months for me and I still think about it a lot. I keep telling myself that she was the one that ended it, not me. Even after all her lies, and deceit I still wanted her but in the end she thought she was better off without me. I know that Time heals all wounds but geez, I sure hate it when the negative thoughts pop in my head. Stay strong cynicalove.......we both have to trust that there is something better out there for us.
Author cynicalnlove Posted June 22, 2006 Author Posted June 22, 2006 something out there.. I hate it when people say that. It's like, we're ready to be picked up, hoping that someone will show us some light. That's all that is though; "hope." what if the hope never comes and we just settle for what is compatible (read on the thread). There are many questions that remains unanswered, and we kill ourselves finding that perfect justification of "lost" love. and I hate it when people tell me to be strong.. when I have been for months and months. I wonder how long will i be able to withstand my strenghth and then one day when will I crumble and make that phone call.
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