samsungxoxo Posted June 24, 2006 Posted June 24, 2006 Not meaning to be mean to those who have commited serious big time infidelity, but let me say that I'm disgusted in hearing about people sharing their naked body in the dirty sheets with someone else they are not even planning to marry nor commit other than their partner. Look I can understand a kissing, it's still cheating but the least mistake you can do. A drunken kiss, maybe I'll get over that one, i dunno, to me any cheating would be a deal breaker. But sex with someone else, oh no that's NOT a simple "Oops, I made a mistake", cuz it doens't start with just sex right away, there was foreplay and hugging, cuddling way before that and the SO could have stop and think about all the possible STD and not have done it. I just hated when many people get away with having sex with someone else, that's intimate and private, you only share that with your partner. Hate to say it but no matter how he apologize nor say things to make it up for me, yuck, I would not even want him touching me, it would be like having diarrhea. As for emotional afafirs, I dunno what the hell is that. If you mean cyberinga nd phone sex, that's just flirting, that's the only thing I would never consider cheating, unless he were to talk about meeting the woman for sex and giving her the real address, then that's the only time I would call it an emotional affair. But just randomly talking dirty or camming, nope.
RecordProducer Posted June 24, 2006 Posted June 24, 2006 It's out there, sistah. Like it or not. I didn't say I agreed with it or liked it. And this is the first time you've thought about it or heard it? I believe mentalities somewhat differ depending on whether you live in NYC and never met your neighbors or in Joplin, Missouri and the whole town knows what color of panties you're wearing today (cuz someone saw them by accident and told everyone about it).
silktricks Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 IAs for emotional afafirs, I dunno what the hell is that. If you mean cyberinga nd phone sex, that's just flirting, that's the only thing I would never consider cheating, unless he were to talk about meeting the woman for sex and giving her the real address, then that's the only time I would call it an emotional affair. But just randomly talking dirty or camming, nope. An emotional affair is when your SO shares a part of themselves, their soul, with another person who is not their spouse. I doesn't necessarily have any dirty talking involved. It is talking about love and commitment with another person, not sex.
StrivingtoSucceed Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 To the OP - My H had a brief EA last year. He became confused and didn't know what he wanted ... thought he would be happier with her (he had significant health issues and severe depression). He was invited to live with her, which he thought he was going to do. Long story short, when I told him I was done and that he could leave he realized he didn't want to. It took about one month for him to stop contacting OW, about two more months for her to stop calling him several times a week. Like Silk, we are better today then we were before the affair. We are both much more aware of the other person's feelings. Before, I think we both just figured, hey, he/she is married to me ... if I am an ass every once in a while he/she just has to put up with it. That along with allowing life, work, etc., to take priority over your SO. So, now we don't allow that to happen. We talk, talk, and talk constantly. That isn't to say that it was easy getting to where we are today. It takes a lot of work from BOTH people and that will be the only way it can become better ... is when both people want it to get better and do everything they can to get there. There is the pain, the immense feeling of betrayal, the anger, the sadness, the desire to hurt the other person and make them feel the same hurt you felt. But, there is also the happiness of being together and knowing that you can survive, that you are a team, and that in the long-run the love is real and lasting. Silk - I see you are back ... I left for a little over a month too. I needed the time away as well from all the negativity. Don't think I will be on LS as much as I used to, but at the same time I got so much help from getting all my feelings out, and the suggestions, comments and knowledge from others who have gone through this helped me so much that I think it is only right, and fair, to provide others with not only positive feedback, but allowing them to know that there are success stories and that they can make it through.
silktricks Posted June 26, 2006 Posted June 26, 2006 Silk - I see you are back ... I left for a little over a month too. I needed the time away as well from all the negativity. Don't think I will be on LS as much as I used to, but at the same time I got so much help from getting all my feelings out, and the suggestions, comments and knowledge from others who have gone through this helped me so much that I think it is only right, and fair, to provide others with not only positive feedback, but allowing them to know that there are success stories and that they can make it through. Hi Striving - so glad to hear that you and your husband are doing well. I was worried when you were just gone. I agree that LS did help at being able to get my feelings out, and I hope that any input I have will be helpful to others. I don't have a lot of free time, and like you probably won't be on very much. Last week was an exception as I was at a conference and lonely in my hotel room in the evenings/mornings, so had a lot of time for surfing and posting. Good to hear from you, take care.
Chump64 Posted June 26, 2006 Posted June 26, 2006 Record Producer: Well yes, attitudes are different in small towns, but essentially everyone has their own “small town” even in a larger city. Family, friends, coworkers, you get the picture. Besides, I’m not talking about gossip and knowing everyone’s business. I am talking about general attitudes toward women vs. men in this country, specifically with regard to infidelity. Look at what a loser everyone thinks Monica Lewinsky is. Meanwhile, Bill Clinton is making millions on the lecture circuit. And, LOL at the “NYC” comment. I don’t know about issues regarding infidelity, but big cities – that one in particular – are horrible when it comes to attitudes about racism, for example. A metropolitan area does not = an open-minded area. Racism, sexism, etc., are not things that exist only in podunk areas.
UnknowingOW Posted June 26, 2006 Posted June 26, 2006 Look at what a loser everyone thinks Monica Lewinsky is. Meanwhile, Bill Clinton is making millions on the lecture circuit. This girl is not a "loser," but I do think she was caught up in some political BS stirring to get Clinton into impeached. It's interesting how Monica can be center of focus because she is a woman? Bullfeathers! She's a young naive, woman who "thought" she was in love. Clinton is a manipulative man...always has been always will be. Clinton was the center of attention for HIS lack of SELF-CONTROL. And his ability to not be a man and step down from his post. I guess he was thinking, like many of the men which have been president,...I can cheat and the country will still love me...think of FDR and Kenndy??? He would have been re-elected to office had he passed. Charm and charisma...that's all it takes. What's that old saying "charm the pants off ya??" And if you are a women which can succumb to this C&C from a man then WATCH OUT. I'm talking to wife, OW, GF...you've all met someone like this, or you currently know them. If you do; you are beggin' for trouble. You'll never know what's the truth or the BS. If you think about it, Chump. Your statement isn't about Clinton making millions, its about how the women will be the loser, the man goes on without a trace of blame. Why does he go on? His wife forgave him...nothing more and if EVERYONE, meaning the ENTIRE country saw this he would be accepted with respect and courage for making it through a tough time. BS...Clinton is for Clinton...Both he and his wife...it was spin control. Put Clinton on a pedelstool and show the girl as the villian. BS, again...He was the man, he took advantage of a very young and silly girl. I've read your post Chump. Think about the big -picture so to speak, if you know Clinton was capable of deceiving you would you put him back in office? Would you trust he has your best interest at heart? Would think he wouldn't do it again? Just my thoughts...honestly, I hated Clinton...never trusted, never voted for him. Gotta funny feeling he's trying to be leader of the UN.
RecordProducer Posted June 27, 2006 Posted June 27, 2006 Look at what a loser everyone thinks Monica Lewinsky is. When/if Hilary becomes a president, if her young assistant licks her pussy, won't everyone think that he's a loser? And I don't think anyone would consider her a whore. Monica has only shown one talent of hers - to suck a VIP's dick and brag about it.
UnknowingOW Posted June 27, 2006 Posted June 27, 2006 When/if Hilary becomes a president, if her young assistant licks her pussy, won't everyone think that he's a loser? And I don't think anyone would consider her a whore. Monica has only shown one talent of hers - to suck a VIP's dick and brag about it. LMAO!!!! RP, I almost feel out of my chair reading that. Thanks! I was running off on a tanget...Clinton just bugs me.
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