starlet Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 My coworker sent me this article the other day, thought I'd pass it along, since it's summer, so kids will be home from school (and probably online) a lot more. A good PSA. The article's got some scary stats, too - June is Internet Safety Month. Recently, the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children and Cox Communications released a highly disturbing survey of youths between 13 and 17 years of age about their use of the Internet: * 14 percent of the children questioned have had face-to-face meetings with people they met on the Internet. Even one teen meeting a stranger is one too many. * 30 percent said they have considered meeting someone face-to-face who they know only through the Internet. * 71 percent reported receiving messages online from someone they didn't know. * 45 percent said they have been asked for personal information. Many young people have a false sense of security on the Internet. They often think that because they use a chat room nickname, people they chat with won't know who they are. Not true. It is easy to find a person's name, address, school and personal data from that nickname. The entire article is here: http://www.zwire.com/site/news.cfm?newsid=16789112&BRD=1817&PAG=461&dept_id=222071&rfi=6 if anyone is interested. That was a little bit shocking to me, I think - what do you all think? Stuff like this freaks me out - there's so much of it in the news, from Dateline stories to MySpace to that teenage girl who ran off to the Middle East for a guy she met online - seems like these kinds of stories are everywhere, and the Cybertipline stats are something like one in five kids will get solicited in some way. What do you think is the best way to help kids stay safe online?
Tim'sAngel Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 I used to meet guys from online when I was a teen. I look back now and think how freakin lucky my ass was that I didn't get raped. As a kid, I remember the excitement of having someone flirt w/me online, because I could show them the good pictures of me, and he couldn't see my flaws. Very dangerous. I think the only way to completely protect your child is to supervise their time online and make sure to have some kind of program where you can go back and read everything they have written. Moniter everything! I remember not really seeing the danger in it. Don't let them make you think everything under control, because it never is. There are tons of horror stories out there. I dont think its wise to give them their own computers either, unless of course your monitering everything that goes on.
sugarplum Posted June 23, 2006 Posted June 23, 2006 Great topic! there used to be a website called "vote for fun" which wreaked major havoc in my home. It was not intended to be, but became a cyber bullying site. Fortunately, it was shut down - but not after a lot a damage was done! Now its myspace. Watch out for it. I had in inform my husband more than once that my stepdaughters (then 12 and 13) had pictures of themselves posted on there in bikinis - one focusing on her new D cup boobs! Kids are opening themselves to all kinds of danger on here. They dont get it that the 14 year old that contacts them from 2 states away, could really be a 45 year old pervert down the road! Bullying goes on here too. You have to monitor, or it can get out of control, you HAVE to monitor. The web is just not safe for kids to navigate on their own. Its not a playground, its an adult place. I know why they like it, they want to be cool and have their own web page, but most dont know how to handle it - mainly because they are children! I have reported many inappropriate, underage sites. They shut them down, but the person can just put up a new one and lie about their age. The sites administrators are getting better at protecting young users....but I still dont think its enough. There is a similar site called Xanga, but its not as popular. At least not around here. Invest in some tracking software.
sugarplum Posted June 23, 2006 Posted June 23, 2006 I realized I didn't really answer the question sorry! The best way to keep them safe if they are going to be online is get some software (there is lots to chose from-google it and you can download it off the net even) that tracks online activity. Make sure it also monitors chats!!!!! Not all of them do. This is where most exchange of info happens. You can buy some that everyone will know about, or you can get software that is "stealth" where no one will know they are being monitored. My (x-insert rude adjective here) husband felt that monitoring kids internet activity was an invasion of their privacy (WTF?????) and would delete software that I installed. So I got the stealth and kept my mouth shut. At least I would know if something really serious going on. When the kids would give clues to our address or give out our phone number to "new friends" met on line, I could intervene - if nothing else, to protect my own children. When one stepdaughter was 10 she told some guy she was 17 and gave him our number. When he called, I answered, and I ripped him and my husband a new one.
Author starlet Posted June 23, 2006 Author Posted June 23, 2006 I'm so torn about MySpace. I think that's a site with great potential for fun and research and making friends, etc., but it can be so dangerous too. I know that the people who run MySpace recently partnered with NCMEC/Cybertipline for an ad campaign promoting internet safety awareness/tips, and that they recently (like, yesterday maybe?) announced they are adding in new measures that are supposed to make it harder for adults to contact underage members. I'd like to see more focus on how many kids are clearly lying about/hacking the age rule (under a certain age they arent even supposed to be able to get profiles, right?) because that's worrisome that kids are lying about creating these, and breaking the site rules to do it, and their parents don't know! sugarplum it's so awesome that you're so vigilant about knowing what your kids are doing online! that software sounds interesting - how does it work? does it just keep logs of where they went or actual transcripts? (i am assuming it must remember chat logs, at least?) i also can't believe some guy actually called your house trying to talk to your daughter! omg!! but, really - so many parents don't pay attention, and that's where the trouble starts - because kids always think that of course it can't happen to them, that this guy isn't a predator, they really care, it only happens on Dateline, blah blah. I think educating parents about sites like myspace and those like it is incredibly important - i think a lot of parents don't spend time on sites like taht or no how they work, so they don't know how dangerous they are!
sugarplum Posted June 23, 2006 Posted June 23, 2006 The software I have used was NetNanny. It would be comletely invisible unless you hit "hotkeys" simultaneously that you chose during installation. Then it woud give you history of websites visited and logs of chat sessions - the entire conversation from both parties. I am a bit more vigilant than a lot of parents out there, I know. I just feel that I not only want to do all I can to protect my kids, but that it is my responsibility and obligation. I would hate to have something happen end up saying "If only I had......"
sugarplum Posted June 23, 2006 Posted June 23, 2006 i think a lot of parents don't spend time on sites like taht or no how they work, so they don't know how dangerous they are! My own daughter has a myspace that I have her show me regularly. I totally agree with what you said in the quote. I actually have a site on Xanga under construction. It's pointless to me, but I am having my daughter show me how to set it up. I am spending time with her, I am learning all the in's and out's of these sites, and she is having a blast teaching her cool mom how to put backgrounds and icons on her web page! win-win!
EnigmaXOXO Posted June 23, 2006 Posted June 23, 2006 Concerned parents may also want to regularly check the information, address and photos of registered sex offenders in their immediate area. By clicking on your state, then entering your zip code, you will be directed to the FBI's most recent database. You may be startled to learn just how many are living right around the corner from YOU! http://www.fbi.gov/hq/cid/cac/states.htm
Author starlet Posted June 26, 2006 Author Posted June 26, 2006 My own daughter has a myspace that I have her show me regularly. I totally agree with what you said in the quote. I actually have a site on Xanga under construction. It's pointless to me, but I am having my daughter show me how to set it up. I am spending time with her, I am learning all the in's and out's of these sites, and she is having a blast teaching her cool mom how to put backgrounds and icons on her web page! win-win! Sugarplum, that? Is SO awesome. Good for you!! Because I really do think that a lot of the problem is that parents just don't know what the latest sites are that are out there that their kids are on, either, or how they work, or who kids can talk to on them. I know everybody knows MySpace, but there are a whole lot of other sites out there that are just like that, and that have just as much potential for having dangerous, shady people try and talk to your kids! I saw an article where the head of the Cybertipline said that it could even be a problem with video game systems like Xbox, because they have a real-time chat feature if the kids are gaming online, and people they don't know could conceivably try to soliicit them that way. Honestly, it's really EVERY kind of interactive media, and that makes me so mad!
sugarplum Posted June 28, 2006 Posted June 28, 2006 Oh yeah! Forgot about that - the online gaming. My son has enjoyed online runescape (and was once threatened by someone when my son did something he didn't like). I have seen online pool and many other games where you play against others over the net and "chat" while playing. In fact my husband tried the online pool and the chat goes through msn messenger. I saw he was "chatting" with his opponent who had a very feminine name. I got a little irritated because the chat was constant, and was waiting to see how long it would go on so I said nothing, but about 10 minutes later found out the other player was his own daughter on the computer in the basement. (Glad I didn't jump the gun and make an ass of myself over that one!) But gaming is big too - especially with the boys, where the girls are more into myspace type stuff. Its a scary, ADULT world on the internet and unfortunately I dont think enough parents are aware.
Author starlet Posted July 10, 2006 Author Posted July 10, 2006 I know - I am not at all a kid anymore - and *I* get creeped out by some of the things (and people) that I randomly run across online, so it's definitely a whole new world trying to navigate the online world with kids! This is the article I saw about XBox - http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/pittsburghtrib/news/cityregion/s_451364.html I think that it could potententially be a problem - because I know my parents didn't understand how gaming systems work, and that was fifteen years ago, let alone all the things they can do now - and I think probably a lot of people aren't aware of the real time chat options, etc. I'm so tired of having to think about how someone can be a disgusting pervert over any sort of interactive tool (web, games, etc). That's an interesting point too though - I am (and was) one of the few girls I know (or knew as a kid) who gamed - but that's true - it is mostly boys, and I expect a lot of parents think that isn't something that you have to worry about, because they are boys? The Cybertipline stat is something like one in five kids will be solicited online in some way, so I think it's pretty non-gender specific, and we've all seen those horror stories on Dateline. I wonder if some parents think they don't have to worry about stuff like that because their kids are boys? I wonder sometimes - I think it's smart to remember that you have to make sure ALL kids know to protect themselves on the net!
audmc911 Posted July 19, 2006 Posted July 19, 2006 What do you think is the best way to help kids stay safe online? Here's what I KNOW is the best way to keep kids safe on-line! I have a 15-year old daughter. 1. Any myspace account must be "private" and only people they know can be "invited" to post comments. 2. All AOL Buddy list members must be people they know. Lastly, and most importantly, you have to TALK to your children! If you feel that they have a good understanding of the dangers, and will follow the rules, then it's okay to leave them alone. Also, I can check cell and home phone records on a daily basis if need be. [With respect to provocative pics - well that's an entirely different issue that you need to TALK to your girls about on a daily basis. These days, there's lots of casual sex going on and you must really instill your morals and values into them during adolescense - or you're going to have one uncontrollable teenager on your hands.] That being said, I changed the password on the computer and turned it off! She cannot even get on to use it. But that's only because she is being punished for swimming at 2 AM! Kids! I!
audmc911 Posted July 19, 2006 Posted July 19, 2006 a lot of parents think that isn't something that you have to worry about, because they are boys? The Cybertipline stat is something like one in five kids will be solicited online in some way, so I think it's pretty non-gender specific, and we've all seen those horror stories on Dateline. Pedophiles do not differentiate between boys and girls. They do not care about their gender. It's about the power and control.
Author starlet Posted July 20, 2006 Author Posted July 20, 2006 Is there a way to set AOL so that it automatically blocks those random "Person X Wants to Send You A Message" things that pop up? I mean, I'm not even close to being a kid anymore and I still get those on AIM all of the time, from people I have never heard of in my life. How do they find your screenname, anyway? I did see an encouraging article the other day (will try and dig the link out if anyone wants it) about how MySpace is really working on ways to make sure kids can't get around that age restriction they have. But, you are right, nothing works like actually talking to your kids and educating them (and yourself) about online sites/chat programs/all that other stuff. And of course bookmarking the Cybertipline hotline and telling them to submit anything that is shady. It bugs me endlessly that so many parents don't, and that they treat "the computer" as being some sort of babysitter that's keeping their kids out of trouble or whatever. But I have no idea how to make people more publically aware of the need to do that. You'd think more people would, right?
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