Tasteslikegood Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 Hello: Well I posted my love life in the breaking up section: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t90515/ It's a little lengthy so to summerize, this girl has been my high school sweetheart. We we're together on and off for 8 years. Everytime she broke up w/ me (3 times), I find out she's seeing someone soon after. We broke up recently and she has done the same. I want to ask you guys/gals for you opinion. I really just want to send her one last letter telling her what she has put me through. Here is a rough draft of what I have wrote: What I want you to realize is that you’ve hurt me so much through the years but you just don’t know to what extent. For example, this time, you strung me a long. You wanted to have your cake and eat it too. When I told you I love you, I could tell that you no longer cared. You only cried because you felt bad for yourself. You hurt me. You weren’t even sorry when I asked for no contact. You weren’t even sorry that you were doing that behind my back. All you were sorry about was that I found out. I remember the first time we had a “break” back in college, I was telling you that I loved you and that I missed you. You would even tell me that you loved me back. And at that same time you were seeing someone. How f***ing evil is that! You strung me a long. I remember when I found out I was hurt, but I didn’t even realize that you strung me a long. I was more hung up on the fact that you slept with someone else. I was naïve in thinking that that was something we would always share just because you were my first everything. With our second breakup, I went through s*** to try to get over you. I had so many sleepless nights, I couldn’t eat, and I would smoke. You’re partly to blame in the fact that I smoke. I thought about you literally every second for months. Waking up and going to sleep was the worst. I would lay in bed thinking about everything and I would do the same waking up. The days were so long. I never wanted to feel that pain again. Now, you’ve put in me in the same predicament. When we did get back together, I wasn’t ready. I was on the defensive and hurt from when we broke up. I didn’t even tell my parents were back together because she knows what you put me through. She saw me sad and angry and moping. I remember telling you that I felt rushed and you just brushed it off, hoping you would just have your way. I really did love you and I know I’m not perfect. We could have worked on our relationship, because relationships take work. Otherwise what would they be? All in all, I just at least want you to know what you have put me through. I have suffered and I’m still suffering because of you. I really don’t want to give you any satisfaction in the fact that I still love and care for you, but s***. You hurt me this time, again. You showed me what I mean to you. I’m you safety net. I’m your “best friend”. If you were really my “best friend”, you wouldn’t have hid that s*** from me. You just don’t realize that you don’t know it all. There is no everlasting “honeymoon period” it takes a lot of work to maintain a relationship and with you easily throwing ours away, it hurts. One day it will it hit you like a ton of bricks. I really feel that you will regret what you have thrown away, and sadly, I probably won’t be there. ----- Well I don't know. Should it be sent? Thanks for any advice Tasteslikegood
Roarz Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 Lol, its funny because I did the same exact thing myself when my gf broke up with me. Don't send it man...what you're really trying to do is make her feel bad (like you do right now). It probably won't work and if it does, it still doesn't bring her back. And once you send it, you'll be watching your computer 24/7 for a response (which you may or may not like) and will feel retarded that you put that much thought into something for a person that screwed you over (and that you showed her you did). That's just a lot of unneeded stress you'll be putting on yourself.. Trust me on that, I've done the "mean letter" thing several times, with the same girl. A stronger statement is not to send it and never to communicate with her in any way again. Think about it turned around; if someone just suddenly stopped talking to and ignored you completely, you'd feel pretty hurt right? That's the best way to go about things...It's been like 7 months for me and yeah I still do love her despite all the s*** she's put me through, but we still hardly ever talk (she does all the initiating). It hasn't brought her back, but it also hasn't left me a complete emotional wreck trying to plan out and scrutinize every detail (like I was before I just gave up on it). So in summary, no, don't send it.
In Sync Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 Look, no matter what your intentions are sending a letter seem pointless. You want this person to feel what guilty accountable? It portrays you as a victim. You did this to me and that....get the picture. You'll only serve to boost her ego. Afterall where is your accountability in the story. I am a big believer in writing and keeping a journal and working through your pain by putting it down on paper BUT sending it may feel good for a hot second but you'll start obsessing did she read it, did she undertsand will she react. Work through this without contacting her. Yes we all want to be vendicated but if she doesn't acknowledge hurting you a letter you will again be waiting for her to validate your feelings. May I suggest that you listen to the audio link that is part of my signature. Really really listen.
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