MN Broken & Confused Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 Hello All, To make a long story short: I am stuck in a place where I don't know what to do about this girl that just left me last week. We were together for 2 years and it was long distance, about 1.5 hours away. Everything was going fine for the past year and half, then as of Jan of this year, she stopped coming to my house to visit me or my family. She use to come every other weekend before. I have been driving to see her for the last 6 months, which I didn't mind at first because I have friends in the city where she lives. I asked her why she didnt come visit me anymore and she just gave bulls*** reasons. Then about a month ago, I found an email she sent to a guy in decemeber 05...kind off like an "she is interested in him" email. I confronted her and she was furious, she threw everything I ever gave her away. She denied the email and apologized for throwing out my pics and other stuff. I know she did send it but I let it go cause I love her sooo much and didn't want to continue the drama. Then recently we were getting in a lot of stuipd, petty fights. We also stopped being intamite because she said she has gained weight and doesn't want to. I constantly told her I love the way she looks. Then last week, she tells me that I am going no where in life and she sets all these deadlines for when she wants to be married and all that s***...She never mentioned it before...She has not told her family about me and its been 2 years and her reason is she said "what am i going to tell my family about you"? "what do you do for a living"? I work as a network engineer for the federal gov and I am pursing dental school in the next year or so, if that doesn't work, i will finish my masters and mba...I don't know where she got all this s***...Then last monday, she called to say she was giving me the money back for an expensive purse I bought her for our 2 year anniversary. She also stated she just wanted to be friends and that she needs time and space for her to concentrate in her new dental school year...I have not heard from her since and its been a week...I don't think she gives a s*** about me anymore and she is acting like we never even dated or she doesn't know me. She is partying a lot and hanging out with her friends. Please advise me as I am letting everything slip away, my work, school, etc....thanks in advance for listening... Take care...
julieg Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 been there- sounds like she is slowly distancing herself from you but she is keeping you handy for those moments when she misses you or is bored. once someone "better" comes along she will break it off for good. she takes you for granted big time. you are a bright guy with a lot on the ball. too bad she will fail realize this until it is too late. bet you she has a "secret" life she is hiding.
Author MN Broken & Confused Posted June 20, 2006 Author Posted June 20, 2006 Thanks for repsonding back. I appreciate the truth. Ya, I kind off feel like that too. I feel like there is someone else but the day we broke up I asked her and of course she sweared on everything and said no. The thing is, she has not called since we broke up, not even to see if i am alive or anything. What do you think I should do now? Should I contact her or not? I have not so far for the past 8 days. Thanks
Author MN Broken & Confused Posted June 20, 2006 Author Posted June 20, 2006 In love, I guess. The only reason to contact her is because I want to know the truth, but I feel that if I knew the truth, I would be more devastated than I am now. I know that no contact is best thing for me, but I wonder, how could someone just up and forget about someone they were sooo close with for 2 years? Thanks
crazy_grl Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 The only reason to contact her is because I want to know the truth, but I feel that if I knew the truth, I would be more devastated than I am now. Don't call her. It's doubtful that she'll tell you the truth if she hasn't already. You may never get the truth or you might get it months from now. By letting yourself focus on this, you're letting her have control over you. You have to try to get to a point where you don't need to know and you don't need anything from her. I know that no contact is best thing for me, but I wonder, how could someone just up and forget about someone they were sooo close with for 2 years? It happens a lot. It REALLY sucks, but it happens. Sorry you're going through this, but you have to stay strong.
Bullgator Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 Been there, done that, threw the t-shirt away a long time ago. I know you don't feel like you're ready, but it's time to move on MN. I sure wish I had when I was in your situation.
BrandonBP Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 she called to say she was giving me the money back for an expensive purse I bought her for our 2 year anniversary. This was a bit melodramatic on her part. It sounds like she maybe wants to date other people, but at the same time she's testing you to see if you'll beg and plead with her not to leave. I was so hesistant myself to NC since it's the hardest thing ever to make yourself do, but I would say that yours is a prime case of needing NC if I ever saw it. It seems like she's sort of being selfish right now and is throwing tantrums to see how you'll respond. Try NC dude. I wish you the best of luck. Please keep us up to date on how this works for you. Brandon
Author MN Broken & Confused Posted June 21, 2006 Author Posted June 21, 2006 Thanks all for replying. The responses i get really do make me think for the better. I know that NC is the best thing for me to do so I can try and move on. The only thing i wonder is if she will ever call me again. i am sure it won't be in the next few months though. I also still wonder if she cares about me in a relationship type way. even though i think i know the answer and that is NO she doesnt care about me like that. she has told everyone at her school that we broke up, so i know she is probably dating again. But i wonder how she moved on so quick. I am really tired right now so i am probably not thinking straight at this moment but i am sure i will have more to talk about tomorrow. thanks again for all the support. take care and until tomorrow...
Author MN Broken & Confused Posted July 13, 2006 Author Posted July 13, 2006 It has been a month now and she still hasnt called to see how I am doing or even to see if i am still alive. I know she doesnt owe me anything, but they way she is handling the post-breakup, pissess me off. She never planned on introducing me to her family and played the s*** out of me. She is now with some rich dude and thats what she wanted. How should I handle this now. It makes sad and upset, but I also get pissed off thinking about it... Please advise... Thanks to all that reply.....
crazy_grl Posted July 14, 2006 Posted July 14, 2006 Don't call or contact her and don't try to find out what she's doing. If she doesn't care enough to call, then what more do you need to know? Some people are just jerks.
amplified Posted July 14, 2006 Posted July 14, 2006 Hey bro keep your head. I have been in a situation like this before...you shouldnt do anything. Do not contact her in any way shape or form, dont give her the satisfaction and dont feed her ego. You DESERVE better. YOU NEED TO MOVE FORWARD!!! Dont get stuck in th past. Alot of females withdraw themselves from a relationship months before they break up. So it may have come as a shock to you but she probably knew waaaaay before she let you know. You seem like a honest and sincere dude and you should keep your head up along with your confidence. Get out there experience life without her do something to better yourself everyday and before you know it you find what your looking for.
Author MN Broken & Confused Posted July 17, 2006 Author Posted July 17, 2006 Hello All, Thank You for replying back. It really makes a difference to listen to people looking at my situation from the outside. It gives me a lot of perspective and makes me think and feel strong when I read your posts. I sometimes get weak and want to contact her, but I know that what you all say is soo true. Thanks again
Author MN Broken & Confused Posted August 2, 2006 Author Posted August 2, 2006 Hello, Its going on 2 months that my ex left me. I really thought she would have at least called out of common decency for someone you spend 2 years of your adult life with. She just moved on soo quick and continued to party with her friends. I do think about her and wonder why she hasnt called. The last thing she said to me was "your my best friend and you know I love you"...Ya ya ya...if she really did care she could have called to see if i am still alive. Any advice on how to completely remove her from my head and stop wondering why she hasnt called yet? Thanks
johnnytable Posted August 2, 2006 Posted August 2, 2006 To be honest, it is a good thing that she hasn't called. It would just mess with your head. She is doing you a favor by leaving you alone, and now you need to move on.
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