rumours83 Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 Hi people, i am new to the "loveshack" and was wondering if anyone had been in a situation where a third party was jealous of their relationship? I moved in with my boyfriend a year ago, he had been living in this shared house for a couple of years before hand and had always had problems with one of the flatmates. Both him and i found this girl to be very controlling in regards to what went on in the house, and lately we had a discussion where she said the balance of the house had changed since i moved in. she said that she always took the "mummy" role in the house and sorted out the cleaning and the bills and stuff, and that my partner was the "daddy" who fixed the plumbing and anything else that wasn't working. My partner never really liked this girl, even as a friend, and certainly didn't want to be in the "daddy" role, especially with her! Has this happened to anyone else? because where i have lived in shared flats before the relationships between everyone seemed quite healthy. Lately this girl has being trying to cause arguments between me and my partner, and we have even caught her listening at the door when we were having a conversation (it wasn't even about her!) it is getting to the point now where he wants to move to another house in our housing association which is a shame because i actually like where we are at the moment. can anyone give any advice about how to deal with this girl?
whichwayisup Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 You have afew choices. Both of you nicely talk to her about what's been going on and that she has to stop invading your privacy, listening in on conversations. Or just give your notice and find another place. If I were in your situation I would just move out... She obviously feels threatened and was the woman in the house before you moved in, and now she's reacting to it and feels jealous. What stuff does she do to cause arguments between you and your boyfriend?
Author rumours83 Posted June 20, 2006 Author Posted June 20, 2006 erm well we had a problem a while ago with someone moving to the place, we discussed it with her and she later on came into our room to discuss it further, i wasn't in the mood to, asked her to leave and went into the bedroom. i think she got up to leave but then started talking to my partner again. i came back in to tell her to leave, and she had a very smug look on her face, as if she had "won" that situation as my partner didn't ask her to leave. I don't blame him as i don't think he was totally aware that i didn't just want her out my face, so to speak, but out my personal space i.e. my room! Asides from that, to get control over what goes on in the house, she tries to break up relationships with other people in the house, especially if they are getting on too well. she get jealous if i go out somewhere with our other flatmate and she is not invited. i like to include everyone in activities like that but with her it is problematic as she sulks if she is not centre of attention. i really don't want to leave, but there isn't really a way to "talk nicely" about it. i like to be constructive especially with issues regarding our house, but when it comes to discussing them she takes it onto a personal level and is more interested in psychoanalysing us, something she is not qualified to do, especially as she doesn't seem to want to know us on a personal friendly level anyways
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