MissTiss Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 Ok, I have been lurking on these boards around a month now and I am floored to see the amount of guys posting on here!! I really am. I have never been the type to play break-up games or send mixed messages by text message and string someone along until I found someone better. I can not get my mind around the fact that so many woman are leaving these guys broken hearted. I have never had a guy upset about me. I have always been the one who was broken up with. In relationships I am a fighter and I will beat a horse long past dead to make sure that I gave my all. I love with my whole heart and give everything I have to give. That always seems to be my problem. I give too much and when it is over, I have given myself away and there is none of me left. Today we live in a world of fast food relationships; we want everything without any effort and we want it now and I think it is sickening. That's why nothing ever lasts anymore. Years ago people worked harder and made less, today we work less and make more--well some of us do.... I watch old movies on the classic movie channel and I long for those days. I used to work at a restaurant and I met an old couple that had been married for over 60 years!! He was a old flirt and she was a little charmer and he would tell me how much he loved her. My heart melted to see that and I felt blessed to have met them. It gave me a little bit of hope...then again, they are from a different era. Is there any hope at all?? What happened to two people being committed with all their heart and soul. Does that even exist anymore. I know this post was all over the place....I am just interested to know where these guys that love their girls so much are... I want one.
Diver012 Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 Well im right here, although I feel so messed up right now. I totally agree with your point. What makes this one so hard for me is the feelings she claimed she had for me, and how quickly she decided to end things. It just flored me completely. I am the type of guy that is willing to do whatever it takes to make something work. I think my Ex's problem is that she was in a marriage and tried the same thing. It ended in divorce anyway. Since that divorce, she has not been able to hold onto a long term commitment with anyone. Ever.. I didnt see that until it was to late. Now shes caught up in this throw away relationship phase. I am just one of many victims. My parents have been married for over 40 years. I have seen hell and back. Maybe if they didnt make it I would feel similar to how she feels. Maybe I would be throwing away relationships too. I think the fact that so many people come from broken homes plays a large role in this. Weve learned that if something is wrong, instead of fixing it, we toss it aside and find someone new and exciting. Society has taught us that its ok. Personally I dont see myself dating for a long time. I know the next person that tells me that they are interested in a commited relationship, I will take those words with a grain of salt... theres to many messed up people in the world today..
Author MissTiss Posted June 20, 2006 Author Posted June 20, 2006 Diver, I was definitly talking about you and others here, I have read your posts and am touched by your sincerity. You seem like such a good guy and I think its shameful that your gf treated you the way she did. It pisses me off in a way that woman like her give woman like me a bad name. My ex was with a girl who burned him so bad that by the time I found him he was a complete committment phobe, swore I was gonna leave him. Now he tells me he will be single forever because there will be no fear of getting hurt! WTF. I did nothing but love him. Oh well....
GW7147 Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 Hi MissTiss and Diver, I'm pretty much in the same boat as Diver. I was with my ex who ended up pulling the rug out from under me. She meant the world to me and I always enjoyed being there for her and her 2 children. I loved taking her places, complimenting her and always provided emotional support. She would tell me she was so content with her life and she was looking forward to our future together. Then, she did a 180. It's true though, society has adopted the thought that we go out and take what we want and if we don't like it, kick it to the curb and look again. My parents and many of my friends parents were "old school". They placed value in their relationships and marriages. Nowadays, people think marriage is a convenient, disposable thing. I don't mean to generalize, I realize not everybody thinks that way but, it's definitely a more common thought process now. I think about what my ex did and I'm at the point now where it really ticks me off that she would say all those things to me and then turn and walk away. I've been NC for almost 2 months now and I'm trying to adopt the attitude that it was her loss. I was good to her and I think she knows it. Once I can get my head straight, I'm sure I'll be able to trust somebody with my heart again (after some time together). I have a hard time blaming somebody else for my exes shortcomings. I know we have to protect ourselves but we have to give others the chance to prove they want to be with us. Hey Diver, I'm glad you liked the "Attitude" post!! Take care all!! GW
Just Visiting Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 Looking at modern relationships and how they are handled, it does reflect the fast food approach. My parents have been married for 44 years now. They had eight children and went to hell and back. There were times when it was abusive and dysfunctional, but they stuck it out. Nowadays, they are content in working at the local school, landscaping, and going out for the odd chinese dinner. My brother-in-law and I had a conversation recently in regards to how roles have reversed in courting. Before, men had to "prove" themselves to the women before women would give their affections. Nowadays, it doesn't take much for women to give "it" up and usually end with a broken heart. In addition, the women work hard to win a man's attention. "Virtuous" is a word that comes to mind. People throw their heart and soul at a relationship before truly learning about the potential mate. In the end, people are disappointed, hurt, disillusioned, angry. What's the rush? I know I have been guilty of such actions within a relationship. And I got burned because of it. After my recent break up, I have taken a step back and did some inner reflection. I am dating someone now and decided to put my self lessons to the test. Slow and steady wins the race. I am all for a traditional style of courting.
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