Diver012 Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 Damnit I cant stand it! I want to call her up and bitch her out so much. I dont want to even her her voice. I want her to shup up and listen. Theres one feakin day that haunts the hell out of me. 1 damn letter that she wrote to me that keeps sucking me back into my hell. The letter that she wrote to me on Valentines day. The letter that made me fall in love with her. After almost 3 months of seeing eachother, I get this letter that says.. You are the most important thing in my life.I want us to fill this picture book I gave you with the memories of our life together.I love you so very much.Its all the little things that you do that are so important to me.I have never in my life felt so much unconditional love from a woman before. I have never felt more deeply in love an accepted before. I never wanted to spend the rest of my life with anyone like I wanted to spend it with her. How teh f*** can she turn around 3 months later, and tell me all those feelings have just changed? Tell me everythings different??!? I dont understand and it Haunts me deeply. It hurts me!! She has wounded me deeper than I think I have ever been wounded in my life!!! I feel a bitchout session coming on... im trying to fight it.. im not so sure its a good idea, but something inside is telling me I have a right to some answers. I have a right to bitch her out for mistreating my heart
Author Diver012 Posted June 20, 2006 Author Posted June 20, 2006 Valentines Day Still sitting here on Valentines Day remembering all the things you said the words you wrote etched in my heart still linger there and tear me apart it rips my soul and tears me down knowing that your not around If you could just explain one thing how can you say those lies to me On Valentines Day I fell in Love It was a perfect day clear sky above For one brief moment my life was right but now I sit here alone at night It makes no sense how could you leave how does such feelings change so quickly from the deepest love to not at all you turned it off and let me fall So now I sit here on Valentines Day month after month, day after day you moved on with someone new and I must face a tragic truth This will burn for months to come You've forgotten me and have moved on I wont smile not when your near Not ever again, not for you, or me
Poboy Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 A good read the poem You have very right to know what happened. Whenever Things like this happens to friends , i always tell em ... Remember , people can be strange , strange are their ways. I think you should ask her upfront in person all these things as to why the sudden change. You need an explanation
fabulousgal Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 Diver, Your not alone in these feelings. I feel the same exact away, 2 weeks before my breakup my ex pulled me close to him and said "I don't ever want to hurt you." It was after a small disagreement the night before, and that was the moment I decided to stop resisting letting my guard down. 2 weeks later, all hell broke loose. I want to question him to his face and ask him why. Trouble is, I don't think I'd believe what he said. I'm not really sure it would make me feel like I got my answers. He could just say what I wanted to hear, or he could be a jerk. I'll never know, and I just have to accept the fact that I shouldn't waste my time on someone anymore whose words I can't accept as true without question. Stay strong, and seek peace within yourself. You or I don't need them to help us resolve peace in our hearts. As hard as it is to accept.
Author Diver012 Posted June 20, 2006 Author Posted June 20, 2006 Im going to write her a letter. I have already tried to talk with her twice and she wont. She always makes up an execuse... I going to tell her exactly how I feel. Im going to tell her how hurt I am. I going to tell her how much I loved her and how I wanted all the things she told me on Valentines day to come true for us..... This isnt to get her back, I dont think she will come back, this is because I think it should be said..... or maybe not.. I dont know what to do anymore Any advice?
GB111 Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 Hi Diver, So sorry to hear what you're going through. Been there, done that. Unfortunately, my breakup was on V-Day. I would definitely recommend writing the letter, but I would disadvise sending it. I found it very therapeutic to write. BTW, my ex refused to talk with me also. I did send one letter to my ex, and it accomplished NOTHING. Just empowered her further. Write each day, save all the files to a folder, and when you have a weak moment and start to feel like you should contact her and try to make peace (and you will, in time), re-read what you wrote and remember what she did to you. I know you'd feel some sense of relief by sending the letter to her, but you have to ask yourself what you hope to accomplish. If you want her to feel guilty for doing this to you, this is the wrong approach. All you'll do is make her feel more in control. The best thing you can do is take care of yourself. If she's going to come back, she'll do it on her own timeline. If not, you'll be better off in the long run. Either way, I wish you the best. I was where you are not long ago. Trust that it will get better with time. Best Regards, GB
garnet Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 Diver, It's understandable that you want answers. Maybe you feel like it will bring some sort of closure. I never got the closure I was seeking in my situation, and eventually I realized that I need to create my own closure, without necessarily having all of the "true" answers. Because the thing is, when people hurt us, they don't always give us the true answers. Sending her the letter will most likely make her feel even more guilty than she already does. I'm not sure that she would *really* be able to give you straight answers. In fact, she may not even know the answers herself. People can really fool themselves sometimes, and hide the things that they don't want to accept about themselves. I really don't see anything good coming from sending her a letter. But writing your feelings out yourself IS a great idea, and very therapeutic. Take care.
Author Diver012 Posted June 20, 2006 Author Posted June 20, 2006 Thanks guys. I did write the letter... IT wasnt a letter asking her about answers, just a letter explaining how deep my feelings were... I why I didnt share everything in fear of scaring her away. Fear of commitment and all that.... I am starting to realize that the relationship was doomed from the beginning... It never really had a chance. I think shes an emotional junky that thrives on drama, and where there is none, she creates it.
fabulousgal Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 Why do I need your answers? When you left me with a face stained with tears One would think I’d hate you, for all that you’ve caused Life was joy, the air was sweet but now in hell I’m paused Words are precious which left me to abuse Was I stupid for believing, or clinging to hope for truth? Probably not some say, I’m human, which means I love and I hurt Never thought you’d give me the latter of the two What is to do now, except let my mind run in laps Wondering whether you meant it Wondering whether you felt it Like me Maybe you did and maybe you didn’t – Guess I’ll never know Time to take this in stride and start running my own show New memories, new people, new goals Just let these unanswered questions quit tormenting my soul....
Outcast Posted June 21, 2006 Posted June 21, 2006 Many, many, MANY people believe themselves to be 'madly in love' after three months. That's because in three months you are awash in chemicals in your body that want you to make babies and you haven't had enough time to learn about someone. From six months onward, the reasons you may not actually be perfect for one another start to show and you realize you've made a mistake after judging too hastily at the three-month point. It's a common mistake. Nothing to be angry about. She fully believed she loved you at three months but she didn't. She was infatuated and infatuation always fades. So understand that this is not unusual and it's not about you. Move on. Let it go. Write a letter if you must, but then put it away or burn it or tear it up. And then get on with your life.
dr strangelove Posted June 21, 2006 Posted June 21, 2006 The old chemical theory I still had feeling for my ex even after we broke up.. she had feelings back at times.. that was way past the 3 month mark.. whats the scientific reason for that? Sucks that you broke up on valentines day, I had an ex that broke up with me on my birthday. I had to get my own cake.. I bought myself food. I ended up at her place.. she did tell me happy birthday but then passed out again. The next day she broke up with me because I gave her a look she didnt like. Gee I wonder why I did that..hmmmmmm Your a pisces right diver.. good luck with your little plan. Ive decided im giving up on females, and I am seeking out a dyke couple to donate sperm to.. Id like a kid more then a girlfriend wife. I hae no idea where you look for something like that.
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