how do you tell your friends that you dont want to be friends anymore?

[confused423]

so i went off to college.... came back for the summer and found that all my friends became smokers, and serious stoners. I hang out with them because im pretty much desperate when it comes to friends, its really got nothing to do with me but it has more to do with the area in which i live. theres just not a whole lot to do here. i still go out to places in public with them but never to one of there homes. how do i tell them i dont want to see them anymore with out causing drama or acting cowardly?

 

thanks for your help

[Yamaha]

I would just tell them your busy when they want to get together. After a few times they should get the message that you really don't want to hang with them. Try to make new friends, ones that fit your lifestyle.

[SmoochieFace]

Just tell them upfront. There's nothing cowardly or dramatic in being honest and upfront with them. If you do not care for the path that they have chosen to travel then it is your prerogative to say so and find friends who are more in line with your values and beliefs.

[tearful_soul22]

You can just tell them honestly that because of their behavior you don't intend to pursue friendships with them anymore. It's better to be frank about it than waste your time figuring out a way to cut the ties. And after that, try to find friends that share your interest and people you can hang out with comfortably. Take care and good luck!

[Buttaflyy]

I posted the same question here on LS (sorta) so I had a similar problem. My solution...tell them nothing. Just distance yourself. In time they'll get the picture.

[luvtoto]

I recently ended a friendship with someone that I just couldn't respect as a friend anymore. I beat around the bush for months dodging her calls, and trying not to be in the same place as her around town.

 

I ended up just telling her in an email. I know...cowardly. But, I knew she would blow up and throw accusations at me. Which she did. But, I didn't care...I was just glad the friendship was finally over!

[Buttaflyy]

I recently ended a friendship with someone that I just couldn't respect as a friend anymore. I beat around the bush for months dodging her calls, and trying not to be in the same place as her around town.

 

I ended up just telling her in an email. I know...cowardly. But, I knew she would blow up and throw accusations at me. Which she did. But, I didn't care...I was just glad the friendship was finally over!

 

I think that no matter how you do it, if you really want to end the friendship that becomes the bottom line. But if you do care about the reaction of the other person then email, or just avoiding them is the better way to do it.

[RecordProducer]

I would just tell them your busy when they want to get together. After a few times they should get the message that you really don't want to hang with them. Try to make new friends, ones that fit your lifestyle.

I agree with this. You'll cause drama if you tell them anything. You don't bother people with your own judgment of their personalitites. Live and let others live.

 

It's a good choice you've made to not hang out with people who do drugs so avoid their company by using kind excuses. If they ask you why you're not hanging out with them anymore, you can tell them that you are not into drugs and it's not your idea of fun.

[dgiirl]

Cant you just not hang out with them while they're doing drugs? I have a lot of friends who do the recreational drugs once in a while, and they know that I'm not comfortable around it, so they dont ask me over when that's what they want to do. However, we still hang out and are friends. Unless it's more than just them using, but more of their character that you dont like. In that case, just decline their offers a few time and i think they'll get the hint. It's easy to distance yourself from people.

[confused423]

i do hang out with them in public but what i find is that they are alway smoking, one prefers cigars, the rest just smoke the variety. i guess i dont enjoy getting the second-hand smoke, your right but i think there attitude toward there actions for life greatly differ from mine, and i guess going to college just intensified everything.

[jerbear]

I don't repy back to emails, turn down invitations and even outright told the person when she called.

 

Some people get the hints while others will require a few messages like "you're presence is no longer desired, bye bye!"

[monkey00]

I don't repy back to emails, turn down invitations and even outright told the person when she called.

 

Some people get the hints while others will require a few messages like "you're presence is no longer desired, bye bye!"

 

thats pretty much how to do it in general. not pick up the phone, not calling back. teling them your busy if you're invited somewhere. i think in time most people get the picture. when it comes down to the real deal most people would prefer avoiding confrontation.

 

it's a good choice that you're making to disassociate yourself from them because you chose to walk a different path.