Brweyes31 Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 My friend and I have noticed that some men are seem to be more attracted to women who we call "community service projects" than independent women. The "community service" people I am referring to have "problems" such as severe financial issues, emotional distress (due to not getting over a lost love, etc), and are emotionally needy and (most of the time) they are very attractive. They are probably really good people - but don't have their crap together and along comes a nice guy who to fix their problems. I have heard stories of men doing so many things for emotionally needy women - such as buying them excess gifts, loaning money for kids, helping them move and get into apartments, etc. Of course, I'm not referring to long term relationships - just people dating. Is it because men would like to rescue a damsel in distress? Is it to feed their ego? I guess it's similar to girls chasing a "bad boy" - one who is that challenge and always leaves women feeling like crap because they wanted to be the one that changed them and made them see the light. I think some women chase the bad boys out of immaturity because as you get older you want someone to compliment you and not someone to take care of. (I was a big bad boy chaser in my early 20's). What do you guys think? These are just the thoughts that run around in my head sometimes....
Buttaflyy Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 Wow...if I were to be totally honest I'd have to admit that I was that type of...WOMAN! I've been with plenty of losers trying to be nurturing and supportive of them to the point that I had to realize that I kept dating charity cases! My sister was the same way. Always meeting guys that had some sort of problem and just like me, she'd take the "challenge" head on trying to fix the bum! We talked about this plenty of times. How's that for a spin?
Author Brweyes31 Posted June 20, 2006 Author Posted June 20, 2006 I used to be like that....and it resulted in a long term relationship when I kept giving and giving to the other person and totally neglected myself. I learned a lot about the experience though - and wouldn't go through it again. I've personally met a couple guys and (have seen other men in action with friends) who give so much to women that are emotionally needy - and shun away from women that are more independent. Even though they claim to want someone independent because they don't want to be used as an emotional crutch or financial aid - they still continue.
Buttaflyy Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 I used to be like that....and it resulted in a long term relationship when I kept giving and giving to the other person and totally neglected myself. I learned a lot about the experience though - and wouldn't go through it again. I've personally met a couple guys and (have seen other men in action with friends) who give so much to women that are emotionally needy - and shun away from women that are more independent. Even though they claim to want someone independent because they don't want to be used as an emotional crutch or financial aid - they still continue. Yeah I've definitely learned from that as well. I have a male friend too who is exactly as you described. His GF doesn't work, he puts her through college, while paying his own student loans. He buys her expensive clothes while his clothes are becoming "vintage". He feeds this girl! And the terrible thing is that she's not as supportive of him. He is this guy that you described. He likes having someone to take care of.
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