Keeper37 Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 I haven't posted for awhile, to refresh my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years moved about three months ago, relocating for a job promotion. I am in a confused state of mind at this point. I will try to make it as brief as possible. He doesn't want me driving 6 hours to see him, as he says he will worry about me, I have been to see him while he is Traveling ( he travels every week) it was only 3 hours. We have gotten in to arguements about this. Over the last few days, I mentioned that I would be willing to move to where he is and what were his thoughts about this? He didn't say anything at first and I mean nothing, no response. I had to ask him about three times to say something, good, bad, indifferent? He finally said that it was scary to him and he didn't want to feel responsible if things didn't work out and that his work load right now was not condusive to having time for someone ( I wasn't talking about right now-- I was talking in future). A coversation today when he called, he told me that he worried about me and wether 20 minute phone conversations were enough for me and if I was happy? He also said that he doesn't want to have to call or do things because he has to, he wants to do them because he wants to. He added that recently he has been feeling like he has to prove things to me and is doing some things because he feels he has too and he doesn't want to do that. Although he said that isn't usually the case but he has been feeling that way. Then he said that he needs to sit down and think about what he wants, not that he doesn't know what he wants but where to go with it and if he can. He says he loves me and wants to be with me, but it is scary to think about me moving to be with him ( I am scared too). He also mentioned that he isn't sure if he can be around someone that much, he's not sure it's in his make-up but he can see us living together .... What does that MEAN? He said I gave him a reality check by that I wanted to move there and he needs time to think about things. He said that he would just go day to day the way he is and never think about the future, so if I didn't bring it up again he wouldn't but he knows that he has to figure this out now. He told me that I shouldn't feel bad and that it's HIM not me. What do I make of this, it doesn't sound good to me?
Author Keeper37 Posted June 20, 2006 Author Posted June 20, 2006 I would greatly appreciate a anyone's perspective on this.......
Guest Posted June 27, 2006 Posted June 27, 2006 It sounds like he is having second thoughts but that's just me. Did you guys have an arguement of any type?
dangolan80 Posted July 10, 2006 Posted July 10, 2006 I don't want to jump to conclusions, because I don't know either of you in the least. However, something isn't jiving for me through all of this. Why is he so adiment of you two being apart completely? It sounds to me as though he is trying to really put some distance between you two and that he is afraid of something more then just you making a commute to see him and your safety during the commute. If it was me, I would worry about my gf making a commute to see me if that was necessary. However, I would do something to ease my mind of those worries and initiate things to help ensure safety (i.e. cell phone and such). Granted he says that his workload won't accomodate him having time for anything but work. But he still has to come home at some point. He isn't working 24/7. So thereofore he would see you at those times he is not at on the job. Even if you two can't go out and have a good time because of long hours or what-not, at least you can cherish some time together. Examine this situation thoroghly. Something doesn't seem right. Good luck!
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