Touche Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 I had never been around anyone abusive before so even if there were signs, which I still don't think there were, I never would have known. Yeah you're not helping me. I don't care to discuss it in fact i'm sorry that I said anything in the first place. That was my fault. I was just trying to defend my POV. Well, you don't have to have been abused before to recognize the signs, but whatever you say... Yes, it's obvious I'm not helping you. Can anyone, really? You have to help yourself. Good luck sorting things out...I'm going back to the beach.
Buttaflyy Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 Oh lawd...Sometimes in life people do cause us pain. Actually sometime in life, someone is guaranteed to! But after it's all said and done it is up to us to either learn from it or allow them to change us so drastically that we hurt others...or worse...hurt ourselves. When you come down to it does it matter who takes the blame?
Mz. Pixie Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 Ok, KC don't trust me. Trust yourself. You've certainly been doing it right, right? I don't think so. Yeah, I'm ALL wrong. Men are ALL bad. I'm living in a dream world. Is that it? As far as how long it takes to see the signs..no, it shouldn't take you TEN years! The signs were there. You just chose to ignore them. If you were really honest with yourself and thought about it, you'd know that this is true. Think back. That guy didn't suddenly go from a prince to a frog after ten years..come on! That's ridiculous! KC- I'm sorry that you've been hurt but what Touche is saying really is true. Let's really examine why you allowed someone to hurt you like that in the first place. You know, everyone has been hurt in the past, everyone. I was abused by my parents and probably shouldn't still be alive. Can I sit around and feel sorry for myself?? Maybe on occasion but I can't forever because life is about what I make it. And if I allow myself to buckle under to that then THEY WIN and above all, I won't allow them to have that power over me. There are much worse things than having your heartbroken by your so. You may have not encountered them yet but there are. Woggle- I think you've got a point here babe. I know my husband can keep the house as clean as I can- and he cooks like a dream. His laundry is just so so. But I think most people are amazed that he does most of the cooking in our household.
kitten chick Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 I'm not going through a breakup. Right now having my heart broken would be the least of my problems but thanks for your thoughts MP. If I feel up to it I might post what happened later.
SmoochieFace Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 What I want is to be left alone and never to come into contact with another man again. I have to deal with them on a daily basis, I don't have a choice in that but at the very least I can stop dating altogether. Unfortunately, unless you are independently wealthy and self-sufficient, you really don't have any choice when it comes to having contact with men. At the same time you certainly do not have to associate with men on a social level. That is your prerogative and I say more power to you for it. Since you DO have a choice in that regard... why the venemous hatred of men?
Touche Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 I'm not going through a breakup. Right now having my heart broken would be the least of my problems but thanks for your thoughts MP. If I feel up to it I might post what happened later. Rest assured, I'll stay off your thread since I have absolutely nothing to offer you in the way of help.
Mz. Pixie Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 I'm not going through a breakup. Right now having my heart broken would be the least of my problems but thanks for your thoughts MP. If I feel up to it I might post what happened later. From what I gathered it might be some sort of STD or something that he did that put your life in danger. I'm sure others have been there. Just keep your chin up and don't hate everyone because of a few bad apples.
Outcast Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 A female Woggle!!!! Kitten Chick, one man is not all men and all men do not deserve to be punished for one man's sins. And I hope desperately that you do see the counsellor and get on some meds before you snap completely.
Touche Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 She doesn't need meds. She's not crazy. She doesn't need to be drugged. She just needs a little attitude adjustment.
kitten chick Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 WTF???? I did not start this thread! Outcast go bother someone else.
Touche Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 WTF???? I did not start this thread! Outcast go bother someone else. I'm so confused, KC. I thought I got too much sun or something. What's with this thread? How is this even done? Certain posts were taken from another thread to start this one. I thought you started it. It has your name on there.
Art_Critic Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 I'm so confused, KC. I thought I got too much sun or something. What's with this thread? How is this even done? Certain posts were taken from another thread to start this one. I thought you started it. It has your name on there. It was split off of woogles thread.. I was wondering that myself till I figured it out
Touche Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 It was split off of woogles thread.. I was wondering that myself till I figured it out I realize it was "split off" Woggle's thread, Art. What I don't get is how that was done. I don't understand how that works. KC said she didn't start it yet it has her name as the thread starter. What's up with this?
Art_Critic Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 I realize it was "split off" Woggle's thread, Art. What I don't get is how that was done. I don't understand how that works. KC said she didn't start it yet it has her name as the thread starter. What's up with this? The mods did it.. they must've felt that the posts would be better off in their own thread and off of woogles. They do this from time to time when there are 2 good discussions going on the same thread to make it easier to read
Touche Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 The mods did it.. they must've felt that the posts would be better off in their own thread and off of woogles. They do this from time to time when there are 2 good discussions going on the same thread to make it easier to read Oh, Ok Art. Thanks, I really didn't know that. Interesting. I'm kind of surprised they did that though. I would think it should be up to KC whether she wanted a separate thread started in her name....but that's just me maybe.
whichwayisup Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 They do this from time to time when there are 2 good discussions going on the same thread to make it easier to read Yes, it's a good idea when discussions are going on. This is not a good and healthy discussion on this thread, it's a "pick on KC and make her feel bad" thread. Attack her because she's had some bad experiences and is pissed off/upset about it. So she hates men right now. So what? It's her choice. It may be a forever thing, or maybe not. She has a right to feel what she feels. She's not cutting of men's cocks, or going up to men and calling them a**h***! She's just not involving them in her life right now...She's allowed to have that choice. Why is it so many love to kick others when they're down? If you don't like someone personally or don't agree with KC's choices FINE. But disagree RESPECTFULLY. How is it that some keep on getting away with flinging nasty comments and others get in crap for it.
Touche Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 Yes, it's a good idea when discussions are going on. This is not a good and healthy discussion on this thread, it's a "pick on KC and make her feel bad" thread. Attack her because she's had some bad experiences and is pissed off/upset about it. So she hates men right now. So what? It's her choice. It may be a forever thing, or maybe not. She has a right to feel what she feels. She's not cutting of men's cocks, or going up to men and calling them a**h***! She's just not involving them in her life right now...She's allowed to have that choice. Why is it so many love to kick others when they're down? If you don't like someone personally or don't agree with KC's choices FINE. But disagree RESPECTFULLY. How is it that some keep on getting away with flinging nasty comments and others get in crap for it. I don't see that anyone did that, Witch. Are you still PMS'ing?
kitten chick Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 I'm in way too much pain to really care what people here have to say about me. I have much bigger things to be hurt about.
KnowHowLoveFeels Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 I'm in way too much pain to really care what people here have to say about me. I have much bigger things to be hurt about. KC, I remember your thread about your tendency to attract MMs. Could that be related to the pain that you are referring to?? I know that when someone is hurt, it is not something that talking about 'it' would make it go away. It won't... especially talking to us, non-certified 'therapists'. Yeah, we come with our own baggages and miseries. Sometimes, even the best of us will lash out at another poster because whatever that was on the post just hit too close to our sore spot. (I do that all the time.) But. When you talk about your problems, and sometimes - not always, though - when you read your own post, you can identify the problems of your problems! That happens to me all the time! You don't have to take every poster's comments to heart, but you have to admit that many of us do have a sincere desire to 'help'. It is human nature to want to help another fellow being, especially when the story hits close to home. So don't be defensive. Touche is a strong woman - and she is a very lucky woman to have found her 'ONE'. She wants you to realize that it can happen to you too... though I agree that her words could have been interpreted as gloating in front of a miserable person. However, I am sure that is not her intention. Now, as for your inability to trust men.... I believe you are right to vent and have some 'alone time'. But above all, be assured that it was not your fault that you ended up with these pigs! Not all men are bad. I feel very lucky that most men I know are extremely decent people. Most men I know are also married - for as long or almost as long as I have (10 years). If most men you know are scums... then you need to get out of that kind of social circle. There should be no excuse for allowing yourself be in the kind of environment that you are in! If you have to move, go back to school, take another job... then do so!!! Not just so you can meet 'the one', but so that you can create a better future for yourself and be happy! We all want to be happy. BTW, Touche.... I'm a happy woman now. Weird, but the resentment I had toward my husband is gone.... I am the kind of woman who can never be satisfied! (I'm working on this, too. )
Touche Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 I don't know what to say, Know How and KC. I just want people to be even HALF as happy as I am. That's all I want. And if I can find the right one, anyone can. I'm nothing special. I wasn't trying to gloat. I was only trying to give KC some hope.
KnowHowLoveFeels Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 I wasn't trying to gloat. I was only trying to give KC some hope. I know that.
Lishy Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 I think KC is at a place where she feels she will never trust/love again. She is allowed to feel that as she has obviously been badly hurt in the past! I was in that place a year ago. It came from spending 14 years with a narcissist. It brings you down and you honestly do believe that ALL men are like that. I think, deep down, I STILL believe that when I meet a guy and he is really nice that one day he will slip and show me how evil and nasty he can be! I dont trust men but right now I am in a place were I have my own house, my own car, my own job and my own full social life with friends who would do anything for me so I dont feel the need to trust a man. I dont NEED a man at all and so I can see that all men are not the same. When you are in that pit of despair, men are the enemy! That is where KC is at! No telling her will change that, one day she MAYl realise it herself! I bet she does what I did and make many mens lives hell before she realises it! I truly belived that ALL men were put on this earth for was to make women miserable! And maybe she wont realise it and will live happily by herself! We dont ALL need men in our lives to be happy! Some of us may be lucky enough to find 'the one' and others will be just as happy by themselves. KC my advice is just make yourself happy and dont bring men into the equation unless you want to BY CHOICE! You life hon, YOUR choice. Be happy!
SmoochieFace Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 Why is it so many love to kick others when they're down? If you don't like someone personally or don't agree with KC's choices FINE. But disagree RESPECTFULLY. How is it that some keep on getting away with flinging nasty comments and others get in crap for it. I don't see anyone being *kicked around* here. KC is allowed to have her stance - regardless of whether it is *healthy* or not. Last time I checked... we do have this little thingy called *free will*. As long as her stance isn't causing anyone else any pain she is free to have it.
kitten chick Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 Thank you for your thoughts KHLF and Lishy, I sincerely appreciate your comments. Honestly, while I will fully admit that I have some pretty big trust issues when it comes to men, the mods started this thread, I didn't, and trust issues are hardly the biggest of my problems at the moment.
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