kitten chick Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 Well, it's obvious that YOUR truth is very different than mine. I've never met a man who couldn't take care of himself. Yes, I've heard of those but never actually met one. Why do you hate men so much? You should get out more often. Men are irresponsible emotionless twits that can't take care of themselves and only view women as sex objects.
Touche Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 You should get out more often. Men are irresponsible emotionless twits that can't take care of themselves and only view women as sex objects. Honey, I've been around the block more than a few times. YOU need to get out more if this is your only view of men. It's really sad. I was single for many years before I got married the first time at 30. I'm married now for 11 years. So I've been around, honey. My experiences with men have mostly been positive. You obviously are not discriminating enough in your choices.
kitten chick Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 Honey, I've been around the block more than a few times. YOU need to get out more if this is your only view of men. It's really sad. I was single for many years before I got married the first time at 30. I'm married now for 11 years. So I've been around, honey. My experiences with men have mostly been positive. You obviously are not discriminating enough in your choices. Actually I think your view is really sad and very naieve. I'm about as discriminating as they come, I don't date anyone anymore.
Touche Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 Actually I think your view is really sad and very naieve. I'm about as discriminating as they come, I don't date anyone anymore. Sorry but I'm anything BUT naive. I don't see how MY view is sad. I have a great man! How is that sad? He treats me like a queen. I must be doing SOMETHING right. And you're not discriminating at all. You're just burying your head in the sand and taking the easy way out.
kitten chick Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 Kitten chick, maybe if you change your outlook you'll have better experiences. My experiences created my outlook, not vice versa.
Buttaflyy Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 My experiences created my outlook, not vice versa. But then it has to lead back to your choices. Really take your time and choose more wisely. I don't know your past but sometimes when women jump into things with men too quickly we are disappointed when we realize that are princes are frogs. Because, we didn't take the time to see what was there all the time. I hope you meet that really great guy that changes your outlook, but you have to be very selective in scoping him out. He may not appear to be him at first sight. If you think all men are what you described then you have to be choosing the same time of man. The type that you seem to despise.
Touche Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 But then it has to lead back to your choices. Really take your time and choose more wisely. I don't know your past but sometimes when women jump into things with men too quickly we are disappointed when we realize that are princes are frogs. Because, we didn't take the time to see what was there all the time. I hope you meet that really great guy that changes your outlook, but you have to be very selective in scoping him out. He may not appear to be him at first sight. If you think all men are what you described then you have to be choosing the same time of man. The type that you seem to despise. That's EXACTLY what I was trying to tell her. I mean how is it that I've been on this earth almost 45 years and the men she describes have been the EXCEPTION in my life...not the rule. Why is that? The few bad apples never spoiled the whole barrel for me. I just learned to pick better. And she needs to do the same. And remember, men can only use you if you LET them.
kitten chick Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 Oh you're right Buttaflyy, it was totally my fault. I definitely deserved everything that happened to me at the hands of pathetic abusive and selfish men. It definitely was completely because I chose them and they had no responsibilty for their behavior and actions.
Buttaflyy Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 That's EXACTLY what I was trying to tell her. I mean how is it that I've been on this earth almost 45 years and the men she describes have been the EXCEPTION in my life...not the rule. Why is that? The few bad apples never spoiled the whole barrel for me. I just learned to pick better. And she needs to do the same. And remember, men can only use you if you LET them.[/quote] Yes, Exactly! Recently in a thread about trust, the question was posed...Do you trust automatically or after it is gained. I said that I am the type to trust until trust is taken away. I feel like this is not always good characteristically, because it is very easy to be let down this way, (but luckily I am a person that can wipe off my knees and get back up). At the same time, you must not carry pains from old relationships into new ones. You must treat people as individuals, but you have to be selective in chosing those that you let into your circumference in the first place. Period!
Touche Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 Oh you're right Buttaflyy, it was totally my fault. I definitely deserved everything that happened to me at the hands of pathetic abusive and selfish men. It definitely was completely because I chose them and they had no responsibilty for their behavior and actions. No one said you DESERVED that, KC. You just chose wrong. We've all done that. But learn from it. I'm sure there were red flags in the beginning. Watch for those next time. Get to know them better maybe next time. You deserve a man who will think the world of you. But first you need to think the world of YOURSELF...believe it and live it. Men will respond to it. Don't keep going for the same type of man over and over again. It's obviously not working for you. Trust me there ARE very good men out there. Men who want the same things you want. Open your eyes and take it slow.
Buttaflyy Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 Oh you're right Buttaflyy, it was totally my fault. I definitely deserved everything that happened to me at the hands of pathetic abusive and selfish men. It definitely was completely because I chose them and they had no responsibilty for their behavior and actions. No thats not it KC. I'm not saying it is your fault at all for what happend. What I am saying is that you described men to be all the same and they are not. If you keep meeting the same type then you are choosing the same type. Maybe not even conciously. Just as they are responsible for being the selfish abusive jerks that they turned out to be, you have to be responsible for your choices next time around. I commend you though for taking time out because your not ready. It's a good thing when you know that a man doesn't complete you, especially if the relationship is bad. Can you really say that all men are as you described?
kitten chick Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 No one said you DESERVED that, KC. You just chose wrong. We've all done that. But learn from it. I'm sure there were red flags in the beginning. Watch for those next time. Get to know them better maybe next time. Well my first abusive ex I knew for about 10 years. I'm not sure how long you're supposed to be getting to know them for. The most recent selfish jerk I knew for a year before the s*** hit the fan. Trust me there ARE very good men out there. I'll believe it when I see it. I learned never to trust anyone who says TRUST ME. Men who want the same things you want. What I want is to be left alone and never to come into contact with another man again. I have to deal with them on a daily basis, I don't have a choice in that but at the very least I can stop dating altogether.
hotgurl Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 Poor Kitten chick. I have meet a lot of men like she described and it socsk. And I have dated a lot of men like that. I really think it has to do with age. Men who are in thiet twenties that I have dated have been pretty helpless and a lot were still in party moe. When I started dating older men things got better for me.
kitten chick Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 What I am saying is that you described men to be all the same and they are not. If you keep meeting the same type then you are choosing the same type. You're right, they're not all the same. There are many different kinds of men, none of which could be considered decent people. Just as they are responsible for being the selfish abusive jerks that they turned out to be, you have to be responsible for your choices next time around. I have taken responsibility more than you even know. Once I get my latest issue sorted out I will stop speaking with men altogether, except when I have to like at work and such. Can you really say that all men are as you described? Yes, I can and I did.
Art_Critic Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 I'll believe it when I see it. I learned never to trust anyone who says TRUST ME. You can trust a clown.. smell my flower
Art_Critic Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 There are many different kinds of men, none of which could be considered decent people. If I was a man I would be particularly insulted by this comment
Woggle Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 kitten chick is the type of feminist who lays her cards on the table. I can actually respect that.
Buttaflyy Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 You're right, they're not all the same. There are many different kinds of men, none of which could be considered decent people. I have taken responsibility more than you even know. Once I get my latest issue sorted out I will stop speaking with men altogether, except when I have to like at work and such. Yes, I can and I did. It's unfortunate what has happend to you. Seriously. Your distrust is understandable definitely, considering what you've gone through but KC it's is not healthy for you to harvest such hate! Please don't let them take away your ability to love. Thats what you're doing. You are allowing those men to make you so bitter that you are making yourself unhappy. Don't let them win.
kitten chick Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 I like how you're all telling me to make better choices in the future and take a break and learn to love again and not bring my issues into future relationships when I might not even be alive to do those things. I had to make a decision to put my life in jeopardy because one man couldn't take responsibility for his actions so excuse me for thinking that men can't take care of themselves.
Buttaflyy Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 I like how you're all telling me to make better choices in the future and take a break and learn to love again and not bring my issues into future relationships when I might not even be alive to do those things. I had to make a decision to put my life in jeopardy because one man couldn't take responsibility for his actions so excuse me for thinking that men can't take care of themselves. I am telling you these things because I know from experience that it is necessary for recovery. No I haven't dealt with abuse for 10 years, but I have dealt with an abusive relationship before. It's how you come out of it that counts. Seriously, I have been in your shoes. I have been through plenty with men in my lifetime. But luckily, i didn't close the door or else i wouldnt have welcomed the great man in my life that I am with now. I'm telling you these things because I know what it takes on the road to recovery!
Lonestar Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 I like how you're all telling me to make better choices in the future and take a break and learn to love again and not bring my issues into future relationships when I might not even be alive to do those things. I had to make a decision to put my life in jeopardy because one man couldn't take responsibility for his actions so excuse me for thinking that men can't take care of themselves. kitten chick, you can feel whatever you want towards men. It's your right coming from your own personal experience, so don't worry what others think. There are many men who can and do take care of themselves. Art is one, and Alpha says he is, but he hasn't emailed me pictures of his house yet, so I have no proof. There are also many me who are useless without a woman, and then there are the ones who are doing just fine until a woman comes along and suddenly they forgot how to turn on the vaccum or measure the laundry detergent.
Touche Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 Ok, KC don't trust me. Trust yourself. You've certainly been doing it right, right? I don't think so. Yeah, I'm ALL wrong. Men are ALL bad. I'm living in a dream world. Is that it? As far as how long it takes to see the signs..no, it shouldn't take you TEN years! The signs were there. You just chose to ignore them. If you were really honest with yourself and thought about it, you'd know that this is true. Think back. That guy didn't suddenly go from a prince to a frog after ten years..come on! That's ridiculous!
kitten chick Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 You think you're pretty brilliant don't you? We weren't dating for 10 years we were friends for 10 years. Everyone thought he was the nicest guy in the world, myself included. A few months after we started dating he turned into a narcissistic monster, not everyone shows signs. But obviously you know best right?
Touche Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 You think you're pretty brilliant don't you? We weren't dating for 10 years we were friends for 10 years. Everyone thought he was the nicest guy in the world, myself included. A few months after we started dating he turned into a narcissistic monster, not everyone shows signs. But obviously you know best right? Doesn't matter that you were just friends. I STILL say the signs were there had you chosen not to ignore them. Yes, I know best about some things. (To answer your question.) As far as being brilliant, I don't know about brilliant but smart enough to have made the right choices in life. If that's being brilliant then I am! You mentioned something about some guy putting your life at risk. Care to discuss this? You're full of anger. Maybe others can help. It's obvious that I can't help you.
kitten chick Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 Doesn't matter that you were just friends. I STILL say the signs were there had you chosen not to ignore them. I had never been around anyone abusive before so even if there were signs, which I still don't think there were, I never would have known. You mentioned something about some guy putting your life at risk. Care to discuss this? You're full of anger. Maybe others can help. It's obvious that I can't help you. Yeah you're not helping me. I don't care to discuss it in fact i'm sorry that I said anything in the first place. That was my fault. I was just trying to defend my POV.
Recommended Posts