What do you think about this?

[Guest]

I am a MM who is involved with a MW. She claims to love me although she doesnt like to say it much because it makes her feel guilty. In fact, she claims that she is happily married yet she carries on this relationship with me. We have tried NC several times but we always fail. We are very physical in fact the sex is fantastic although we dont have much opportunity to have it. We have this period of NC (initiated by me) and then a few days later she emails me and tells me how miserable she is. I give in and we start all over again. After a while she starts to feel guilty and she runs for the hills. I get mad and cut her off (NC) and the whole thing starts all over again. My question is, if she is happily married, then why on earth pursue me????? Now she does claim to not be sexually attracted to her H but she tells me how they have date nights, how she is planning an anniversary party for them including an overnight stay at some hotel!?????

 

I have to admit I do love her, and my own marriage is nearly over. My OW calls me her soulmate and yet wont ever tell me she loves me, or cares about me. I guess I just dont understand how she can claim to be happily married and yet have these intense feelings for me???

 

Hopefully you all can provide insight into this.

 

Thanks

[Guest]

I am a MM who is involved with a MW. She claims to love me although she doesnt like to say it much because it makes her feel guilty. In fact, she claims that she is happily married yet she carries on this relationship with me. We have tried NC several times but we always fail. We are very physical in fact the sex is fantastic although we dont have much opportunity to have it. We have this period of NC (initiated by me) and then a few days later she emails me and tells me how miserable she is. I give in and we start all over again. After a while she starts to feel guilty and she runs for the hills. I get mad and cut her off (NC) and the whole thing starts all over again. My question is, if she is happily married, then why on earth pursue me????? Now she does claim to not be sexually attracted to her H but she tells me how they have date nights, how she is planning an anniversary party for them including an overnight stay at some hotel!?????

 

I have to admit I do love her, and my own marriage is nearly over. My OW calls me her soulmate and yet wont ever tell me she loves me, or cares about me. I guess I just dont understand how she can claim to be happily married and yet have these intense feelings for me???

 

Hopefully you all can provide insight into this.

 

Thanks

 

I can understand her feelings as I am head over heels in love with a MM and I am a MW. I wouldn't leave my H for anything as I love him too. I get the butterflies and passionate feelings for the OM but I just can't leave my H.

 

I think the reason your MW won't tell you she loves you is because she is saving the love part for her H and enjoys the sex with you. I wish I had the passion for my H like the OM but I don't. You MW probably knows she isn't ever going to leave her H and the reason she plans trips with him is because she has to. Also please don't think she is not having sex with her H because she is. I think you should go NC and be strict about it. This will help her to make some quick decisions and give you time to decide whether you want to keep playing second to her H. I've been NC for 44 days and I'm sick about it but I have to get over this thing and save my M. How old are you guys and are there kids involved?

[Guest]

[How old are you guys and are there kids involved?

I'm 45 and she is 42. I have two kids and she has none. Its so weird because she is planning this anniversary party and yet she talks about us getting together and having sex. She also calls me all the time on weekends and nights and emails me many times in a day. We have so much in common and discuss and talk about so many different things. She tells me that she is not able to do the same with her H although I think he treats her as well as he can

 

Last year she claims to have tried to leave her H (several times according to her) but each time she failed. She claims its because she could not bear to detroy his life but I guess she would rather destroy mine instead. Not too long ago she told me she didnt want me to leave my W becasue if I was out on her own there would want to be with me too much. Now about the NC. I have tried several times but each time she reaches out to me and of course I cave in. For a little while she is all lovey dovey but its not long before she retreats back to the guilt feelings. Its such a roller coaster. She is a religious woman and is involved in her church with her H and yet she maintains this relationship with me. I wish I understood it. Thanks for your input it was a big help.

[stillafool]

I'm sure this woman is never going to leave her H. Especially if you say she is a religious woman. She probably doesn't want that label "adulteress" in her church and community. She feels she would not only leave her H but her church community also. I'm sure she is also thinking about how embarassed her H would be in their church also. She is guilty because she knows she is betraying God, her H, her church and family. I think she is telling you the truth about her not wanting you to leave your wife. How selfish of her. She knows you'd meet someone else and she probably wants you to stay married, miserable and pinning for her. Don't fall for it. Let her go. If she really loved you she would tell you so and make a move. You deserve better because at least you want to leave and not keep betraying your wife. If the OW wants to live a lie then let her do it with someone else.